//jbsgame.com/author/guerrilla/ Probably About Video Games Tue, 08 Aug 2017 22:00:00 +0000 en-US hourly 1 //wordpress.org/?v=6.4.5 211000526 //jbsgame.com/how-autism-affects-me-as-a-gamer-and-as-a-real-life-type-person/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-autism-affects-me-as-a-gamer-and-as-a-real-life-type-person //jbsgame.com/how-autism-affects-me-as-a-gamer-and-as-a-real-life-type-person/#respond Tue, 08 Aug 2017 22:00:00 +0000 //jbsgame.com/how-autism-affects-me-as-a-gamer-and-as-a-real-life-type-person/

Promoted from our Community Blogs!

I'?ve made no secret about my issues with depression ?and social anxiety in previous blogs and quick posts. Now, I'd like to talk a little about Autism, and how it affects me as a gamer and as a human being.

There are various forms and strengths of Autism on the spectrum. I'm considered to be in the low-medium range in terms of its severity and how it impacts my life. Contrary to popular belief, not every person with Autism is some kind of idiot-savant. I always did well in school and college, but I wouldn't say I can do anything?? significantly better than anyone else. I certainly won't be counting cards in Vegas anytime soon.

For me, my Autism takes the form of obsessiveness, physical twitches, visual stimulus, and adherence to schedules. When an idea enters my brain, it can be difficult to remove. A recent example of this was down to MLB The Show 17. I've never played one of these games before and I've only held a passing interest in baseball, at best. For some reason, though, I had to have i??t. About a week after it released, something clicked in my brain that told me I simply had to play this game. It became an overwhelming obsession. Every time I told myself I wasn't really interested and I didn't ne?ed it, it would claw its way back into my thoughts until I finally relented.

I played i??t for two days and haven't touched it since.?? But, my obsession was satisfied.

Recently I've been playing Mario Kart 8 Deluxe on the Switch. It's an excellent game. Probably the best in the series (on other days, I may tell you it's Double Dash). Something I did while playing MK8 is something I do alarmingly often - I left the game running on the results screen and entered my imagination space. This is??n't something I consciously do, this is something my mind forces upon me without warning.

I began to formulate back stories and motivations for the characters of the Mushroom Kingdom. I created a league for them to compete in, with cup competitions, sponsors, fake-interviews. I would imagine the winners of these events, devise rivalries ??and Cinderella stories. This is all done internally, without a word spoken. Before I know it, an hour has passed and I haven't moved a muscle. This can be both exhilarating and terrifying when it happens. I very rarely realize I'm doing it until it's over.

There's a specific physical twitch, too. It's a way that I occasionally express excitement with a weird hand gesture. For example, if I score a particularly sweet goal on Rocket League, I will put hands together like I'm praying, bring them up to my nose, and rapidly tap my finger tips together. I have absolutely no control over this motion. It just happens sometimes. It's worth ??noting that this only occurs when I'm gaming. Nothing else makes me react in this specific way.

I love visual clutter in games. I'm a whore for numbers and UI chaos. When playing Final Fantasy XIV, I would fill my screen with every chat log, power bar, shortcut menu and icon that I could. The stylistic menu screens and UI of Persona 5 were particularly orgasmic. I love it when my eyes can dart across the screen, trying to take in as much information as possible f?rom the various sections of the image. The more intense it gets, the more exhilarating it becomes in a way that I real??ly just can't quite explain.

Living with Autism in the real world has its fair share of challenges. It can amplify my negative personality traits. It can make my depression and anxiety even worse. I try to remain positive and energetic where I can, but occasionally my quirks just take over. I can push people's buttons, I can argue a point I don't even believe in just because I want the confrontation. I can become frustrated when someone doesn't agree with me or see something from my point of vie?w. I'm fortunate that my family are so understanding and patient with me. Especially my fiancé, whom I love with every fiber of my being.

When something enters my head and I begin obsessing, it can be hard to handle. It's almost physically painful. It's like an itch in my brain that I can't scratch. When I leave the house, I believe that e??very single person I pass is staring at me, judging me, scanning me. I can't always read facial expressions and understand a person's intent. I struggle with tone of voice, someone could be speaking calmly and I feel they are on the attack. This can be debilitating.

On the flip side, I can feel excitement and joy with incredible potency. My passion for the things I love is hard to match. When I feel something, I feel it hard and deep, baby. My love for Nintendo flows in my veins. The happiness I feel when I'm reading the latest volume of One Piece or delving back into my early Simpsons DVDs ??is intense. The joy I get from star-gazing, exploring the universe and the unknown is incredible.

It's ?difficult to put it all into words. I can't fully explain or describe my various habits, quirks and ticks. I just hope that you understand me a little bett?er now.

Thanks for indulging me. Stay radical and ??beautiful, people.

The post How autism affects me as a gamer and as a real life type perso??n! appeared first on Destructoid.

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Here comes the rain again

[From our community blogs comes this short-but-sweet take on using video games in unique ways to help deal with the rigors of stress, depression, and autism. Do us a favor an tell GuerrillaOcelot ways you've used our favorite hobby to help improve your day-to-day life in the comments below! - Wes]

Hello.

Yeah, I don't h??ave a humorous way to start. No, wait! 

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"My blog post."

"Come in."

So, I'm a young adult with depression, social anxiety, and autism. I'm a special flower. It doesn't take much to stress me out or leave me in a quivering mess on the floor. Over the years I've found that one of the best ??tools at my disposal for de-stressing is good, old-fashioned rain. The liquid that falls from the sky. Angel tears. God's sweat after a particularly savage leg day workout.

The sight and ??sound of rain hitting the pavement at night, the wind howling, thunder rumbling overhead; the heavier the downpo??ur, the better it gets. The sweet irony of stormy weather calming my jagged nerves isn't lost on me either. The trouble is, I don't get much rain where I live. Even if I weren't such an antisocial basket case, I certainly couldn't walk the streets of my neighbourhood on a rainy night without losing a few limbs in the process.

So, what's a fella to do when Mother Nature and deadly human beings fail him? Load up Grand Theft Auto V.

Start GTA V up in my PS4. Load in single-player. Enter Director Mode. Change the time of day to dusk and the weather to thunder. When I'm having a difficult time, this quick sequence of events grants me access to my therapeutic security blanket. The immersive first-person mode, coupled with the well-designed streets of Los Santos and an excellent rain simulation creates the perfect, calming atmosphere for me. I just walk the neon (and rain) soaked streets from the relative safety of my couch and feel my worries melt away for a brief moment. I finished the main campaign two years ago and GTA Online is a hive of scum and villainy. I only keep this 60GB behemoth installed on my hard drive as an immersive weather simulator. I've turned a violent action game into a simp?le therapeutic tool.

Does anybody else use games in unique ways to help them with their issues? Is there someone out there who only plays Final Fantasy XV for the food porn when they??'re tempted to cheat on their diet?

Apologies if this blog is edited or formatted weird. I did this on my aging iPad. ??I'm not going to the other side of my house to use the PC for this. Besides, it isn?'t raining over there.

The post How Grand Theft Auto V Helps My Depression (no, really…) appeared first on Destructoid.

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