Meet your motley crew of sexy Slayers in Dead Island 2

Sun. Style. Survival.

It sure took its sweet-ass time getting year, but at least Deep Silver’s death-development monster-masher Dead Island 2 is ensuring that it’s gonna be gosh-darned sexy on arrival. Dambuster Studios has released over the past month, introducing players to the four baseball-bat-swinging maniacs attempting to make a life for themselves against the backdrop of the zombie-ridden Los Angeles — or to use the Dead Island 2 vernacular: “HelL-A”.

Each of the Dead Island 2 Slayers will be equipped with their own skills and abilities, as well as what I’m assuming will be a serious dose of Poochie-powered focus group cool. They’ll be running, they’ll be gunning, they’ll be whippin’, and boy howdy you can bet your ass they’ll be quippin’ — as our team of survivors utilizes their homegrown skills, killer instincts, and lashings of duct tape and rubber bands, to fight off the charging masses of decaying humanity.

So, let’s take a brief look and see who do the voodoo bitch this time around.

Jacob

Hometown: London, England
Job: Stuntman
Loves: Shakespeare
Hates: Doing Fuck All
Voice: Okezie Morro

Cover star Jacob has rolled into Hell-A from Blightly, and worked as a broker on the British stock market before traveling to America to fulfill his lifelong dream of being a stuntman in action movies. What a natural career transition. Jacob seems rough around the edges, but he record scratch likes Shakespeare?! and frequently quotes the bard in combat. Jacob hates Doing Fuck All, which isn’t actually a personality trait and thus doesn’t mean anything. I guarantee he claims he’s from “The School of Life”

Skills:

• Feral — Jacob gets a stackable minor Damage boost when attacking in quick succession.
• Critical Gains — Jacob gets a moderate Critical Damage boost while his stamina is low. Critical hits regain Stamina

Amy

Hometown: Los Angeles, California
Job: Athlete
Loves: Being in The Lead
Hates: Losing
Voice: Skye Bennet

A Hell-A native, Amy’s training as a Paralympian affords her top-notch mobility to stay one step ahead of the infected, which has kept her alive and well amid the chaos of the Outbreak. Her outfit can be best described as “Sports Queen meets The Hardy Boyz”, and she’s blowing bubblegum because developers like doing that with women characters these days. Amy’s running blade is bedecked in Stars and Stripes because God Bless America.

Skills:

• Relief Pitcher — Amy regains Stamina when hitting a zombie with a weapon throw.
• Divide & Conquer — Amy gets a minor Damage boost when she attacks isolated zombies.

Ryan

Hometown: Fresno, California
Job: Exotic Dancer
Loves: His Brother
Hates: Exercise for Fun

Ryan, who may or may not be a redesign of the original Dead Island 2 protagonist, is a stripper by trade and a fireman by pretend — I bet he has a helluva hosepipe. He’s described as having a “pessimistic sarcasm as dry as the Saraha”, which makes it sound like he’s probably annoying af. Regardless, Ryan has a heart of gold, as he is trying to make it back home to reconnect with his missing brother. Ryan hates Exercise for Fun, so I honestly don’t really know whether zombie-slaying is up his alley. I guess it depends on your definition of “Fun”.

Skills:

• Retaliation — Ryan gets a moderate Force boost when using Block or Dodge to avoid an attack.
• Seesaw — Ryan regains Health each time he knocks down a zombie.

Dani

Hometown: County Cork, Ireland
Job: Retail Assistant
Loves: Breaking the Rules
Hates: Talking to Her Family

Dani is our tough-talking, roller-derby-playing Irish lass who fucking loves Breaking the Rules. She also works as a retail assistant where one can only assume she breaks the rules — thoroughly and consistently. She doesn’t like talking to her rule-following family, who probably stopped inviting her over for game night as she was completely ruining it for everyone. Dani is my personal favorite of the Dead Island 2 Slayers, mostly because of her shoes, but also because I don’t follow the rules, not even my own.

Skills

• Bloodlust – Dani regains Health when slaying multiple zombies in quick succession.
• Thunderstruck – Dani’s Heavy Attacks trigger a Forceful explosion on impact.

Dead Island 2 launches April 28 on PlayStation, PC and Xbox p♓latforms.