Final Fantasy: All the Bravest merchandise f*cking exists

Yes, seriously

Final Fantasy: All the Bravest may well be the sleaziest, scummiest exploitation of a beloved videogame franchise this side of bootlegged Pikachu dolls. The “game” exists solely to leech cash from the “player,” but Square Enix isn’t done there. It’s now compounding its shamelessness with official merchandise. 

Yes, you can get your very own set of All the Bravest keychains, for when you’ve run out of ways for Square Enix to fleece you in the award-winning iOS adventure masterpiece! There are 29 keychains in the set, featuring all your favorite characters, and it’ll cost 11,020 yen to catch ’em all! 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go be sick into a little bag.

[Siliconera]