Warning: The following may not be suitable for minors who are living completely happy lives. Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to play this game if you have any other plans for the rest of your night, or if you or your family has a history of depression or rage induced blackouts. Destructoid is not responsible for any injuries or harm you or others around you receive while playing this game, but we are required to inform you that by playing this game you run the risk of epilepsy, self-inflicted bruises, mild to severe computer and accessories damage, cancer, and in some extreme cases,♌ even death. Do not attempt to play this game at all if you are pregnant, operating heaಞvy equipment, or are within reach of sharp objects. Good luck!
Today was a great day. Then I played this game. Don’t be fooled by the amazingly upbeat and enjoyable music — if you turn your volume down low you can hear Edward Norton’s voice warning you that this game is Marla Singer, and that it will ruin *everything* good in your day. What he should be telling you is do not click on the menu button after you’ve started your game, because it will reset you back to level one, and there are no progress passwords. Also, ads refresh every few minutes and ensure that you lag and die. Also, I dare you to beat this game and share yo🧔ur scr💟eenshot in the comments.
The picture above is from a screenshot of when I finally needed to take a break from playing this game after about an hour of repeated failure and self-esteem evisceration. You’ll notice I only beat a third of the game before hitting my boiling point, and that 9 successes came at the price of over 400 defeats. But before you go and do the math to predict what kind of torture ratio this game involves, you should know that I only had around 150 deaths when I started level 10. And I’m still not done with level 10. This game is exponential evil.
Also, you might die in seven days. Good luck!
via , via , via Viaco⭕m. Q.E.D. Proof that Viacom is evil.
Published: Dec 7, 2009 09:30 pm