Yeah, you’re l33t as hell. You can trounce waves of fearsome baddies without breaking a sweat. You’ve made your friends scream in anguish over Xbox Live and humiliated them with your mad skills. Little girls cry at the mention of your name. Somewhere in your past though, there’s a filthy secret: The boss you just cannot beat. Tonight, I came face to face with one of mine.
I spent hours trying to beat Soda Popinski as a kid. I hurled the controller across the room in a fury as he laughed in my face as if to say, “You will never beat me, you pathetic weiner!” I saw him in my dreams, chasing me and eventually catching me and crunching me up in his frightning, oversized Russian mouth. Ok, actually I made that part up … but I did read on that his name was changed from Vodka Drunkenski to avoid the stereotype of Russians being alcoholics. Not that it matters either way, because he still haunts me even as I watch my friends defeat him with ease. I know, he’s easy. Please don’t tell me.
Are you brave enough to show Destructoid your weak spot? The bosses in your past that you can’t beat, no matter how many times you try?
Published: Jan 3, 2007 03:23 am