Something I realized about myself recently is how drawn I am to sapphic horror. I'm a big fan of horror in general, but there's something extra alluring when it relates to a core part of my identity.

Another thing I'm a sucker for is fairytale-inspired stories. Whether a work takes obvious inspiration from Alice in Wonderland or Little Red Riding Hood, I take note of it.

Little Goody Two Shoes combines both concepts into a game, tak??ing a cottagecore lesbian life sim and combining it with exploration-based survival horror. I never knew I needed a mashup like this until this game.

While Little Goody Two Shoes has some flaws, it might be my favorite horror game of 2023. It's a bold statement when regarding the Dead Space and Resident Evil 4 remakes, but AstralShift's Pocket Mirror prequel brings something that truly stands out in the g?en??re.

Little Goody Two Shoes (PC [reviewed], PS5, Xbox Series X|S, Switch)
Developer: AstralShift
Publisher: Square Enix
Released: November 7, 2023
MSRP: $19.99

A story of horror and cottagecore lesbians

Little Goody Two Shoes follows Elise, a young woman who works as a mai??d for Keiferberg Village's various townsfolk. It's a menial life she des??perately wishes to escape, believing she deserves more.

Everything is upended when another young woman named Rozenmarine breaks into Elise and her late grandmoth??er's cabin. Despite i??nitially accusing her of thievery, Elise takes her in and the two begin living together.

Soon after taking in Rozenmarine, Elise stumbles upon a pair of beautiful red shoes that give her a glimpse of the riches she dreams of having. With promises of a dream life by an entity known as Him?, Elise embarks on a journey to gather gifts for Him and escape Kieferberg.

Meanwhile, as da?ily disasters begin in the sleepy village, paranoia grows over a witch cursing the town. As E?lise is the most openly argumentative person in Keiferberg and Rozenmarine is a stranger whose appearance happened to coincide with the disasters�arrival, the former must also work to keep eyes off of her and her greedy quest. Elise obviously isn’t responsible for these disasters, but keeping others suspicious makes her a convenient scapegoat for them.

Little Goody Two Shoes' narrative is my favorite part of the experience, partly from the number of directions it takes. Between managing relationships with Elise's three love interests and keeping suspicions about her acti?ons low, the game has a surprising amount of major and minor reactivity based on how conversations go.

Not every decision factors into its endings, but it's a nice touch seeing future conversations subtly change based on some previous ones. The writing's also strong, effectively handling themes of soc??ial persecution and what someone is willing to give up. Strengthening this further is its unabashed queerness, which becomes increasingly heartbreaking as Elise's identity grows in competition with her wish.

The love interests are also compelling characters in their own right. Rozenmarine is a traveler whose fate intertwines with Elise's, and her route tells a sweet story of love bringing soulmates together. There's also Lebkuchen, a nun who mirrors Elise in all the deman??ds villagers thrust on her, and Freya, a girl who represents a kinder side to Keiferberg's villagers.

My playthrough focused on Rozenmarine, and depending on Elise's decisions, endings range from gen??uinely happy to soul-crushing. I found her concept of her and Elise being each other's soulmates a compelling reason to pursue her, and its payoff is satisfying whatever direction that takes.

The best '90s shojo game released in 2023

Besides its narrative, Little Goody Two Shoes' art direction is a contender for its best part. Even when playing on the LED Steam Deck, its pixel art environments pop. Places like Elise's cottage are appropriate??ly cozy whilst the woodland ??areas are tense to walk through.

Characters also look fantastic, particularly Elise herself and her love interests. Although gameplay takes inspiration from PS1 adventure games, it aesthetically matches '90s shojo anime. Their enormous eyes and bright designs make them fit right in with something like Cardcaptor Sakura.

Helping the art is the music, with its vocal tracks also emulating that shojo feel and more ambient pieces lend??ing themselves to their environments. My favorite is the track that plays when exploring Keiferberg during the evening. It's a soft and sleepy melody that blends perfectly with the imag??e of Lebkuchen swinging as moonlight shines on her.

Even with its horror elements, Little Goody Two Shoes is a remarkably cozy game. Sin??ce it primarily takes place outside the danger, the time between the horrors is pleasant to exist in. Elise's home is peak cottagecore, and Keiferberg Village itself has an incredibly welcoming vibe despite its inhabitants' paranoia.

Its horror segments also deserve praise, with the wheat fields in particular filling me with an indescribable dread. Even the opening woodland section is wonderful for givi?ng such a claustrophobic sensation while still in a forest.

A moment that made me tense up from atmosphere alone happens in the wheat fields�opening? moments. Separated from Rozenmarine, Elise ventures deeper into the woodland, and the final bridge before the stage’s? proper start gives me shivers. Elise takes each step with caution as crows stare at her and a golden moon follows behind. There are no threats here, but through imagery and sound, I’m filled with dread as someone I’ve quickly grown close to might be hurt, or worse.

That’s the power Little Goody Two Shoes�atmosphere? has when attempting horror. I might have never struggled with any particular moment, but its excellent audio and visual direction never allowed me to keep my guard down.

Best to not be scared on an empty stomach

Since Little Goody Two Shoes takes inspiration from fairytales, it's no surprise ??it emulates their flavor of horror. That means less focus on scaring players and more on inspiring deep dread as Elise marches toward an ominous goal.

To gather the gifts Elise is giving Him, she ventures into the eerie woodlands by Keiferberg Village to endure trials. These involve exploring the? area and doing some?? light-puzzle solving to progress.

None of the puzzles are hard, and the only real concern is not dying to the enemies scattered throughout. If mistakes are made, Elise? can expend a healing item to recover.

Managing these healing items and also food to prevent Elise from starving makes up Little Goody Two Shoes' resource management. Whil?e healing items are plentiful enough in the woodland, food is almost exclusively bought with cash earned through performing menial tasks for villagers. These minigames present themselves as adorable arcade games, and ranks determine how much payment Elise ?recieves.

Depending on a player’s performance, they can be flush with cash and supplies, but only if they do wel??l. A single bad day can stretch budgets remarkably thin, and force Elise in a tough spot. I had to make a call between continuing Lebkuchen’s story, bribing the nosy Muffy with expensive food to keep suspicions down, or starving. Since I was interested in Leb’s story and starving means dying, I risked the higher suspicion. It wasn’t that high to begin with, but it was inching toward a spot I wasn’t comfortable with.

Neither of these will help against anything instantly killing Elise. These scenarios pop up most often when saying the wrong thing or during chase sequences. While I love the tension some of them bring, they can also be a source of frustration. It's because of some instant kill sequences my two gripes with Little Goody Two Shoes come up.

One is the sometimes odd save points. Saving is done manually at specified points,?? and this isn't an issue as they're largely generous. It only gets aggravating when dying at the last moment ??to an instant-kill trap during a long section and needing to restart it.

Compounding this is the fact these sequences often occur after unskippable cutscenes. Most other scenes have a skip function to fast-forward through them, so it's baffling that scenes that arguably need this feature ??most don't have it.

These gripes are minor bec?ause the most progress I ever lost due to deaths is around 10 minutes. It's honestly less about repeating gameplay, and? more about not having the option to skip dialogue I've seen.

A mirror that looks into a doomed character's happier alternatives

Little Goody Two Shoes is something special. It was honestly an amazing enough experience that after finishing, I bought its predecessor Pocket Mirror to see more of this universe.

My knowledge of that title is cursory, but seeing how Little Goody Two Shoes ties into it sinks my heart. It did spoil what some of Pocket Mirror's reveals, bu????t that isn't stopping my enjoyment of that game.

While I have nitpicks, my experience left me wanting to return and see everything else Keiferberg has to offer. From its compelling romantic routes, fun gameplay loop, optional side stories, and phenomenal atmosphere, Little Goody Two Shoes is everything I ask for in a game. Its puzzles are easy enough to quickly solve but its threats are present enough ?that it still has challenges.

It was?? difficult determining my exact feelings with this title until a scene occurred with Eli??se and Rozenmarine sitting together on a cliff overlooking Keiferberg. It’s presented beautifully as a radiant sunset cakes the scenery, but the cliff’s placement besides Elise’s house powerfully conveys how isolated she is from the rest of the village.

The topic of soulmates came up, and while I can’t say how it goes due to spoilers, its conclusion made me realize just how much I adore this game. It also makes the final hours significantly more painful with how Elise’s wish turns out. Many fairytales end sadly and accenting Little Goody Two Shoes�tragedy is me being responsible for it.

Overall, I'm ecstatic that something like Little Goody Two Shoes exists.? Its mix of sapphic horror in a fairytale setting with a retro shojo art style makes it wonderfully stand out??.

While a horror/dating sim fusion initially sounds odd, its fantastic execution helps dr??ive its themes home in a powerful way. I can only hope this finds a strong audience because it ??absolutely deserves one. AstralShift has at least found a new big fan in me.

[This review is based on a r??etail build o?f the game provided by the publisher.]

The post Review: Little Goody Two Shoes appeared first on Destructoid.

DreadXP and Akabaka have announced that Sucker for Love: Date to Die For, the sequel to 2022's Sucker for Love: First Date, is coming out on February 14th. That's Valentine's Day ?for you romantics out there.

The release date was actually announced last week as part of The Indie Horror Showcase, and I have absolutely no idea how I missed it. Sucker for Love: First Date, if you recall, held a prestigious position as one of "Zoey Handley’s Top 10 Picks of 2022." It's a dating sim in whic??h you perform arcane rituals to win the heart(s?) o?f an existential threat to humanity. I love it for its unique take on the genre, as well as its spot-on sense of humor.

Sucker for Love: Date to Die For has had a demo for yonks, but I've yet to try it. Rather than cast you as a lust-driven cultist trapped in their apartment, this one has you kidnapped and in need of escape. Damn, these ladies really know what I'm into. I wonder if Hastur will be in this one. The way she says "Yhtil" puts the wobble in my knees.

Sucker for Love: Date to Die For incorporates the 360-degree camera of Phasmophobia and includes ??more exploration. At the forefront of all the press is the dateable Rhok'zan, The Black Goat of the Woods. I'm down. I l??ove a girl with horns.

I now have plans for Valentine's Day because Sucker for Love: Date to Die For is coming out on February 14, 2024 for PC.

The post Sucker for Love: Da?te to? Die For brings eldritch seduction on February 14 appeared first on Destructoid.

Telling me that a game has elements of dating sim in it is one of the fastest ways to pique my interest. While I’m socially awkward and people suck, I think romance is one o?f the most commonly used and easily explained grounding elements in games. I love grounding elements and think that developers don’t leverage them enough. Give your protagonist relatable hobbies alongside their wondrous powers. For bonus points, let me get to partake in them.

Eternights puts this upfront in its descriptions: action-RPG and dating sim at the end o?f t??he world. That’s all I knew about it going in. And that’s basically all it is.

[caption id="attachment_403765" align="alignnone" width="640"] Screenshot by Destructoid[/caption]

Eternights (PS4, PS5 [Reviewed], PC)
Developer: Studio Sai
Publisher: Studio Sai
Released: September 12, 2023
MSRP: $29.99

If you want to be pedantic and stick to the very specific and literal definition of “dating sim,�then Eternights still fits. Days tick by on a calendar, and wooing your victim requires you to meet certain social stat requirements. Evidence suggests that this is lifted more from the Persona games than it was directly influenced by pioneers like Tokimeki Memorial, but it still passes scrutiny.

You play as the actual blandest dude in the world. He wears a plain white shirt like it’s laundry day. His age is undetermined; somewhere between high school and post-college. During an attempt to ge?t his boring life in motion, the world abruptly ends. During the effort to survive, he’s separated from his life partner. By that, I mean his right arm is cut off �his ‘bating arm.

Thankfully, a god is swift to replace his loss with opportunity. He’s granted a glowing, transparent facsimile. It can also grow a sword out of nothing. However, Eternights never answers the important question of how useful it is on lonely nights. I guess it doesn’t matter. ??Even in a worst-case scenario, with time, our cardboard protagonist can learn to adapt to life with his left hand.

//youtu.be/5OBDR3Wt2sc?feature=shared

Easily defined

Before the whole ordeal of partner separ??ation, you’re also joined by�uh�Yuna? She’s an idol. That is to say, a victim of Japanese pop-star cul?ture. That’s essentially her whole personality.

Later, you’re joined by�Hrm�Mae? No, Min. She’s a shy runner. Her being shy is her whole person?ality.

Then there’s the lady I chose to win over. She’s pretty great. Her name is, uh�Erm�Crap. No! I mean, ?Sia. Her name is Sia. She’s a scientist. She likes science. That’s basically her whole personality.

Then, eventually, you meet Yohan. He’s immortal. Likes dudes. Enjoys making coffee the old-fashioned way but hates the taste. W?ears a bulky sweater in the midst of summer that doesn’t fit hi?m right. He's all right.

You’re also joined on this adventure by tortured, perpetual wingman Chani. He's there to support you, and that'??s it. His character arc revolves entirely around the fact? that he's just as boring as everyone else but doesn't get any super-powers to help make up for a dearth of personality.

It’s the end of the world, and you’re the last hope of saving it. You have to break through a pair of imposing, spectral walls, and stop a god from re-awakening. Obviously, the stakes are so high, and the pressure is so heavy that it’s impossible to avoid getting distracted by certain urges. Thankfully, ?said urges lead to greater power through the strengthening of social connections. There are more than just the obvious reasons to find a pair of couch cushions to slide your TV remote b?etween. Usher your friends into the bone zone and master your meat tenderizer!

[caption id="attachment_403771" align="alignnone" width="640"] Screenshot by Destructoid[/caption]

In the arms of another

Eternights is separated into three sections; the two walls, and the end. Each one gives you an allotted amount of time to screw around and gently probe for ways into the pants of your companions. However, before the time runs out, you need to hit the dungeon and bring down the wall. Generally, you only need a single attempt to do so since Eternights doesn’t ex?actly nail the risk-and-reward concept. On the other hand, it does light a fire under your fli??rting skills.

The combat is weak. Buffing your character is generally the only highlight of the actual action portion of Eternights, because everything boils down to mashing a button to try and reach a stronger attack while dodging whenever necessary. Your friends come equipped with an arsenal of magic attacks that provide the only real strategy that comes into play, but you can easily just?? get by with Yuna’s healing. This is except for the frequent moments where the game takes Yuna away.

The story doesn’t really make up for the underwhelming gameplay. It’s really hard to get a feel for the stakes. It’s hard to tell where the hell you are since it seems like a mash-up of various countries in Southeast Asia. Everyone seems either dead or turned into ??monsters already. If you save the world, does everyone transform back into normal humans? If so, is it really a good idea to? eviscerate them with your sticky fingers?

[caption id="attachment_403772" align="alignnone" width="640"] Screenshot by Destructoid[/caption]

Laundry day

The characters are similarly weak. Each one of them has this intense smell of familiarity about them. There’s a single gay character, and it’s sort of funny to think that was risky back in 2012 when Mass Effect 3 did it. The r?est are all so archetypal and as mundane as the protagonist’s shir??t.

Not only that, but they’re also weirdly inconsistent. Toward the climax of our relationship, Sia kept on talking about how she had suppressed all her passions as a matter of protecting the people around her. Bitch, no you didn’t. Sia?’s the most boisterous person in the group, and her whole shtick is weird science. If that is her being self-restrained, I assume that her normal behavior involves dissecting hamsters and stitching them together to make super-hamsters.

Eternights is largely saved by its moment-to-moment dialogue. What it lacks in intimacy, it makes up for in surprising wit. There are times when it dwells too long on certain themes that it seems to consider spicy. It will elbow you in the ribs and be like, “This is almost like that one kink porn. You know the one.�Then later, out of left field, it will pull out something that’s actually able to elicit a chuckle. Th??at’s sort of what kept me going throu??gh all the eye rolls.

[caption id="attachment_403774" align="alignnone" width="640"] Screenshot by Destructoid[/caption]

At arm's length

Unlike the Persona series, which Eternights so eagerly seeks to imitate, it won’t take you 100 hours to see the credits roll. It’s more likely only going ??to take you about a dozen for a full playthrough. And it’s not too much of a slog, mostly helped by the ways it finds to be surprising through general bits of dialogue.

It’s also important to note that Eternights was created by a small team. The blurbs on it like to slip in that there was only one “full-time�dev on the project. With that in mind, it’s an impressive effort. While it’s derivative and lacking in a lot o?f areas, it seems to do so with the production values of a more mainstream game.

For that reason, however, it kind of bothers me. Part of my interest in independent titles involves viewing the art form without the overwhelming gloss. Eternights has that gloss, which is an accomplishment in its own right, but when you peel that away, you just find something that seems a bit bland and?? lifeless. Certainly, not a night you’ll remember. You’d probably be better off just keeping your hand.

_{[This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]}

The post Review: Eternights appeared first on Destructoid.

My safe word is "Phlebotomist"

Without hyperbole, Romancelvania has been one of my most anticipated releases this year. I just didn’t expect it to be so soon this year, and honestly, it probably shouldn’t have been. As a fan of both Castlevania and dating sims, you couldn’t throw a bowling ball further up my alley. It’s like inviting me to an afternoon of tea and ToeJam & Earl. I am there. I am already there.

However, my impressions of Romancelvania’s early demo haven’t been forgotten. My worry was that meshing the two concepts was an ambition out of reach of a small team. Having played through the whole game and landed ??my big fish, I have to say that the chase was indeed a lot more exciting than actually getting it into bed.

[caption id="attachment_367206" align="alignnone" width="640"] Screenshot by Destructoid[/caption]

Romancelvania (PC [Reviewed], PS5, Xbox Series X|S)
Developer: The Deep End Games
Publisher: 2124 Publishing
Released: March 7, 2023
MSRP: $24.99

The plot of Romancelvania is ripped straight out of its inspiration. Drac has spent a century nursing their wounded pride, after the Van Helsings gave them a whipping so hard their lover left them in disgrace. The Grim Reaper grows tired of the pity party and whips up a reality TV show to help Drac get their mojo back??. Drac must travel Transylvania to round up a delectable cast of singles, then gradually eliminate them until picking just one in the end.

The cast is rather diverse. There are tops, bottoms, lefters, righters, doms, subs, and switch-witches. It’s a sex-positive dating sim, so not only can you choose Drac’s gender identity, no one has a sexual preference. ??From the frat-boy incubus to the well-endowed pumpkin witch, the world is your buffet to rub your genitals on.

It’s quite refreshing. The only downside is that you have three Van Helsings, and you can only pick one. No polyamory option. Whatever, Romancelvania has enough variance to grapple with, to begin with. ??The point is there’s a lot available to fit your preferences. For me, Fenton th??e werewolf came in with the advantage of�being a werewolf.

[embed]//youtu.be/jiNcZfGQu6g[/embed]

Those peaks are turning me on

While the dialogue is laced with overtly sexual themes, the actual content is much tamer. It’s actually something of a mismatch, but perhaps that expectation comes from my familiarity with dating sims. Not that I expect conversations to end with explicit CGs, but Romancelvania isn’t even all that playful with its imagery.

The graphics might be the weakest part of the whole package. The game looks rather uneven and this just gets worse as the game goes on. The characters are represented in the world as 3D models, but in dialogue, there are 2D images. The unfortunate part is that there’s very little diversity to the 2D art, and the 3D is rough. A lot of characters don’t quite match. Ilessa the Succubus, for example, looks ravishing as a 2D image and like a twisted facsimile when the extra dimension is thrown in. She looks like that cockroach monster from Men in Black crawled into the drawing,?? and moves in much the same way.

What’s worse is that, even on my relatively beefy PC, Romancelvania chugged in a lot of areas. One particular spot was so bad, that I thought there?? might be a memory leak involved. I rebooted, went back in, and found that the same issue was there.

I just find the graphical work to be uneven and lifeless. I??t looks fine �even great �in some areas, and then others are a bit more slapdash. I feel like the game would have been better off taking a fully 2D approach, but maybe that’s my love of the source material talking.

[caption id="attachment_367207" align="alignnone" width="640"] Screenshot by Destructoid[/caption]

Cuddle in the Bubbles

The consummation of the two genres could have gone a lot better. Romancelvania is one of those si??tuations where combining the two genres created a product that doesn’t excel in either arena. It’s neither a very good dating sim, nor an enjoyable Metroidvania. If the Metroidvania was substandard but the dating portions worthwhile, or vice versa, that would have been preferable. In??stead, it’s just all-around kind of weak.

The exploration is technically Metroidvania’s gated exploration formula; As you gain new powers, you get access to different areas. The problem is that the world feels poorly designed. It’s hard to boil this down to a few examples, but the best I can do is tell you that Transylvania has no flow. It’s a lot of disconnected branches ??going in all directions, so exploration is unsatisfying. Combat is fine, but is limited and lacks nuance. It gets as far as “gets the job done,�then stops.

As for the dating, it has a few high points and a lot of lows. I like the idea of discove??ring date spots out in the world, but so much of the dialogue feels disposable. You unlock new cast members on a chapter-by-chapter basis, but this means that the last batch you get has very little time to develop. Characters like Vess, the genie, are able to give direct lines to their hang-ups, but? others, like the zombie pirate, Robert, I just don’t get.

I really tried getting into the character. Leira, for example, is a striking siren. However, when I tried to get to know her, I found she has the depth of a kiddie pool. Her hang-up is her duty to her royal subjects, and that’s it. Di??g in deeper, and that’s the drum she constantly beats on. I still wound up taking her on a final date, based completely on her stunning appearance, and then she dropped the bombshell of what was required to get with her, and it was all over. Maybe that’s on me. I guess it’s an unreasonable expectation that someone will eventually express a personality.

[caption id="attachment_367205" align="alignnone" width="640"] Screenshot by Destructoid[/caption]

Puppet-play

Romancelvania’s biggest issue is that it’s monstrously unpolished. It gives that impression from the hop, but as you get closer to taking the br?a off, it all starts shaking apart. Parts of it seem to be entirely unused??, others seem to have been glued together at the last minute. There’s a skateboarding portion apropos of nothing, and it’s bewilderingly thrown together.

The plot has a major twist at the end, which sounds like it was thought up early on, but when it was finally implemented, it was crammed in as quickly as possible. Such little thought went into tacking the ending together, tha?t I’m not even clear on what the heck even happened. It’s like getting someone’s clothes off, and they suddenly pull out puppets. It’s not your kink, and you might try to have a good time anyway, but the whole experience is going to weigh heavy on your mind later.

I feel like Romancelvania’s mechanics ultimately failed the writing. A lot of the dialogue is genuinely fun and entertaining. However, there wasn’t really enough focus for it. It probably would have been better if more of the visual novel genre had been pulled into it with the action sit??ting in its own silo, while the romance enjoys its own adventure elsewhere. The dates could have been more than just sitting on a bench and flirting, which gets us absolutely nowhere.

[caption id="attachment_367204" align="alignnone" width="640"] Screenshot by Destructoid[/caption]

Chaste

Romancelvania feels a lot like an idea too grand, a team too small, and a deadline too short. There is a lot of vision, a great deal of creativity, and no shortage of love, but all of that got crushed under the reality of the workload. The whole combination of two established subgenres is a substantial experiment, and that requires a lot of prototyping, testing, failing, and starting over. Romancelvania feels like it charged ahead without looking back on a lot of ?things. As such, the end ?product is a bit of a mess.

Like your own favorite hand, it gets the job done. You can accurately say that Romancelvania is both dating sim and Metroidvania. H??owever, also like your hand, it’s ultimately an unsatisfying experience.

_{[This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]}

The post Review: Romancelvania appeared first on Destructoid.

What is a man? A miserable pile of smooches!

It might be Valentine’s Day, but we’re going to have to wait a bit longer for that love blood to hit the water. The Deep End Games and 2124 Publishing has announced that Romancelvania, their unholy cross-b??reed of Metroidv??ania and dating sim, will be hitting the bedsheets March 7, 2023.

Romancelvania introduces us to a Dracula whose confidence is still laid up after a savage beating at the hands of the Van Helsing clan. Their lover left them, their minions don’t respect them, and evil just doesn’t have the same appeal anymore. Death gets fed up with this pity party and sets?? Dracula up with their own dating show. It’s time to choose from 12 “lucky�singles and help the dark lord (or lady) get their mojo back. Peer pressure is the proven way to turn a spark into a flame.

[embed]//youtu.be/-iJkv94HlBA[/embed]

Gameplay is a clever combination of gated exploration and choice-driven dialogue. You’re given the option to choose a body type, and the dating options cover whatever it is you’re into, whether you’re more a Medusa or werewolf kind of person.?? The whole affair is fully voiced, which is an appreciated bit of extra effort??.

It feels like simultaneously forever and not that long ago that I played the demo and came away impressed ?but skeptical. The whole concept seems like it will be extremely difficult to get right, given the amount of player agency available and the two disparate genres that are trying to be married. However, nothing abou??t the demo implied that The Deep End Games is in over the depth, so provided the rest of the game matches the bar set by the earlier peek we got, then we’re in for a real treat.

Romancelvania is out on PS5, Xbox Series X|S, and PC on March 7.

The post Romancelvania brings the ??vampire smooching March 7 appeared first on Destructoid.

Just how desperate are you?

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, so it’s time to get yourself in the right mindset with some saucy dating sims. Scythe Dev Team, creators of game-I-will-not-shut-up-about, Happy’s Humble Burger Farm, have you covered with Love at First Squeak, a dating sim about dating.

Love at First Squeak has you hitting the Rat Hole club all hot and heavy. You meet a buffet of steamy singles like Chip Quick, Ruth, and some other people who were less irresistible. G??et to know them real, real quick, and then whisk them away to the VIP room to ignite the chemical fumes of your passionate gasoline.

[caption id="attachment_363086" align="alignnone" width="640"] Screenshot by Destructoid[/caption]

Shh. Come closer. Love at First Squeak is a really short and goofy dating sim, but it’s really just mini-game #1 of 10 that foretells the coming of Scythe Dev Team’s virtual reality horror FPS, Project Meganet. It’s pretty short, but it invites you to play through it multiple times to ?really scratch at the sinister underbelly. It’s also free and avail??able to play through your browser, like one of those Flash games from the �0s.

I’m a bit disappointed that Scythe Dev Team’s next project is completely a VR experience. It looks nice, but VR is for rich kids who used to own Sega Game Gears rather than Game Boys. I couldn’t hope to�/p>

What was that?

They heard me! Run!

Love at First Squeak is free and available to play on your browser over on itch.io. Project Meganet is currently targeting PC and doesn’t have a set release window, but you can follow along with the ARG over on the Project Meganet site.

The post Lov?e at First Squeak is a quickie dating ?sim from Scythe Dev Team appeared first on Destructoid.

Bloodlust. Or perhaps just lust.

If there’s one thing I love more than Castlevania, it’s the fantasy that someone can find me interesting enough to extend our companionship beyond the boundaries of a five-minute conversation about the weather. Ah, yes, that’s the good stuff. Now, what if you took Castlevania and mashed it up with my delusions of tolerability? You’d get Romancelvania, which sounds like a pun that is trying too hard until you realize it’s a play on the word Transylvania and not Castlevania. Video games have wa??rped my perspective on puns, apparently.

However, the way of executing this sort of composition eluded me when I heard the pitch. I could think of a few ways to approach it, and each sounded rather precarious. I’m happy someone is making the attempt, even though I’m skeptical. After spending some time with Romancelvania’s demo, I’m not fully convinced they can pull it off, but I’m satisfied that the project is moving in the right direction.

Gets the blood pumping.

The setup is almost flawlessly clever. You play as Dracula, 99 years after being defeated by humans. T??he humiliation of being whipped into submission has caused your lover to abandon you and all your followers to start questioning your leadership. You’ve been moping ever since.

Your buddy, Death, has gotten tired of your constant whining and sets you up on a reality dating show. A number of potentially lucky guys and ladies are scattered throughout your newly renovated castle, waiting fo?r you to put the moves on them. Or you can just be friends, which is nice to know. Not everyone is into Incubi, so having the option to keep things platonic is appreciated.

To win them over, you need to pick the best answers from a dialogue tree, comple?te s??idequests for them, and take them on dates.

You charmer, you

You also have to choose one of them to vote off with a currently unknown amount of frequency. This feels like a needless complication to me, and I h??ave to wonder if the small development team is ready to deal with that many permutations of the gameplay. This is a concern I had through much of the runtime, but let me be clear in saying that the demo gave no indication that they’re in over their heads. I’m only saying that when I’m envisioning the end product, my mind gets a bit boggled. It seems precarious to me, but maybe I’m the one who lacks vision.

The demo itself is a small slice that introduces the game’s mechanics. Generally, things are similar to a Castlevania game of the Symphony of the Night formula. Areas are generally locked off until you gather abilities that allow you to bypass whatever obstacle is preventing you from getting there???.

Scattered throughout the castle are 12 lucky contestants for? you to get to know. The demo only gave a taste of three of these: Medusa, Brocifer, and Vess the genie. The actual cast is quite a diverse buffet for different tastes. There’s a succubus, a werewolf, a siren, and a bunch of others who, I guess, will have to rely on personality to get my attention.

If there’s one thing that Romancelvania nails, it’s setting the potential lovers up as quest investments. You can tell, even from the demo, that you’ll be jumping through hoops to score with any of them, which is, of course, the whole crux of the dating sim genre. Maybe it sounds like I’m stating the obvious, but if Romancelvania? comes up short in any of its facets, the whole product will wind up li??mp and flaccid.

With extra cheese.

It helps that Romancelvania offers options for genders and gender preferences. While the demo only lets you play as the h??unky he-Drac, it demonstrates its plans for she-Drac as well. Likewise, the cast of bachelorettes also includes bachelors, as well, and neither seems to have a preference between oysters and blood sausage. Even visual novel-styled dating sims often exclude the ability to set your preferences, so it’s great to se??e Deep End Games going the extra mile.

Once again??, however, this adds an extra bit of chaos into the cauldron, so I remain cautiously optimistic as I watch to see if they can chew all that they’ve bitten off??.

All of this is wrapped up in a goofy bow. From the obvious references to the Castlevania series to the provocatively accentuated anatomy, Romancelvania eagerly embraces its cheese. Some of the jokes it ?reaches for are eye-rolling but almost seem intentionally so. The area you start in, the ruins of Drac’s castle, are rendered with pixe?l-art textures while Dracula himself is sporting all the latest in abdominal shaders. It’s charming in its awkwardness.

On the other hand, I did?? get some pretty crap performance on my PC, which seems strange. It had a habit of dropping frames with annoying frequency. There’s still plenty of t?ime to spit-shine the technical side of things, I would just hate to see that get missed.

Immortal pleasures.

There’s a lot that is yet to be seen in Romancelvania. The demo isn’t particularly short, but it only gives a taste of what’s to come. If the dish comes out as flavorful as what’s been shown so far, it’s going to be an absolute feast for fans of dating sims and Castlevania. However, I feel like Deep End Games have set themselves up with quite the balancing act. There are a lot of targe??ts th?at they need to nail in order to pull off a real knockout.

On the other hand, the demo certainly suggests that they might be? able to do it or, at the very least, they’re headed in the right direction. They’ve certainly demonstrated enough talent to gain my attention, so I’ll be eagerly awaiting the opportunity to sink my fangs into it. It’s currently unknown when we’ll get the full four-course meal, and the demo is hardly substantial enough to satisfy, but hopefully, we won’t be waiting too long for some spooky romance.

The post The Romancelvania Demo shows off a strong marriage between two irresistibl??e genres appeared first on Destructoid.

All's fair in love and war

I love action games, and I love dating sims �how did it never occur to me that they could be one and the same? Eternights was announced during today's State of Play, and promises to bring both the adventure and romance we've all been craving. The trailer shows off some fast-paced, energic hack-and-slash gameplay, which is contrasted by a few moments that?? show off a beautiful 2D? art style, which is presumably where the dating part comes in. The cutscenes are also animated in the 2D art style, giving the game a gorgeous anime flair.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl5l3nR1mhI

The gameplay will include dungeon-crawling, where players will encounter tr?aps, puzzles, mini-games, and of course, plenty of enemies. We didn't get a great look at what the dating sim part will look like quite yet, but at the very least we'll be able to hold someone's hand, so that's something.

"As a storyteller, I’ve always wanted to mix a love story with adrenaline-driven action," said Studio Sai founder Jae Yoo. "I wanted players to have a strong, personal reason to drive them forward in combat encounters and to feel they were fighting for more than just th??eir own sur??vival �they were fighting for those they love."

Eternights will be available for PlayStation 5, PlayStatio?n 4, and PC (on Steam and the Epic Games Store) in early 2??023.

The post Dating sim? action game Eternights brings love to the apocalypse appeared first on Destructoid.

They'll (literally) tear your heart out

Today, Behaviour Interactive hosted a sixth anniversary stream for its asymmetrical horror game Dead by Daylight. And amidst the doom and gloom, there was one surprising reveal: a Dead by Daylight dating sim called Hooked on You. Yes, a dating sim for dating the Killers of Dead by Daylight.

It might seem unreal but it is, somehow, a real actual dating sim arriving this summer. Last year, Behaviour Interactive asked players in a survey what kind of spinoff they'd like to see from Dead by Daylight, and the answer was a dating sim. So Psyop, the developer behind the Colonel Sanders dating sim, is stepping in to make a killer dating sim.

According to the official site, Hooked on You whisks the player away to Murderer's Island. There, they'll have the chance to get to know four drop-dead Killers and flirt with them, uncovering some dark twists along the way. The Trapper, Huntress, Wraith, and Spirit make up the four romanceable Killers in this tropical paradise. Well, paradise for now.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzsuUDPYF3I

Island in the sun

Picking the right dialogue options will let you get to know the Killers, as well as gradually unlock more about them. Psyop and Behaviour are boasting multiple endings for each Killer. And nicely enough, they range from true love to platonic friendship and even bitter loathing. Love to have a little bit of realism in my dat??ing sim.

No date's been set yet for Hooked on You, and right now it's only confirmed as coming to Steam. But an overall Very Positive ranking on Steam as of this writing for the KFC dating sim seems to indicate that Psyop knows what it's doing in the realm of virtual courtship. We'll see if Hooked on You's love is a killer later on this summer.

//www.tiktok??.com/@destructoid/video/7101030618254953733

The post Hooked on You will let you date four of Dead by Daylight’s killers this summer appeared first on Destructoid.

Heartthrob Memorial is open for lovelorn players in the west

There are still a good few influential gaming classics that have yet to see an official English translation. This includes '90s dating sim Tokimeki Memorial. Downtrod??den dating sim fans have something to celebrate: the fan translation of the Super Famicom version is out now.

The fan translation team has published their version of the Super Famicom version. This fan translation, Heartthrob Memorial: Under the Tree of Legends, uses the 1996 version of the original game.

//twitter.com/RetroTranslator/status??/1500318436??391817219

Though it came two years after the PC Engine version of Tokimeki Memorial, the Super Famicom version had some notorious limitations com??pared to other versions, like lack of voice acting.

The Heartthrob Memorial fan translation team actually put some extra work in to spruce up this version, however. The animated intro from the PC Engine version is in the package. So are sing-along lyrics for? the intro and ending song, and fully voiced confession scenes.

It's exciting enough to have this classic Konami dating sim available in English. The clamor for it has only escalated over the last year or so, due in large part to a video essay from Action Button's Tim Rogers.

Now, players can try to re-live their high school days, train their mind and muscles, attend club activities, and woo Shiori (or one of the many other girls) in English. It's always a good thing when these games, from early classics like Tokimeki Memorial to more niche games, are made available for more players.

Check out the Heartthrob Memorial: Under the Tree of Legends fan translation patch here.

The post Dating ??sim classic Tokimeki Memorial has a fan translation out now appeared first on Destructoid.

Love me madly

My life has been one long journey to find new things to put my mouth on. Food, vampires, werewolves, serial killers, Switch cartridges, Renaissance Era artworks: there are few things I haven’t touched with my lips. However, having spent weeks of reflection and research, I have come across one thing I haven’t smooched: Eldritch, world-ending gods. This changes today with Sucker for Love.

As Destructoid’s foremost expert on dating sims by the authority of “because I said so,�it has fallen to me to try and seduce the unknowable gods of Lovecraftian lore. Thankfully, I’ve prepared for this day. You may recall from long ago that I developed a special system for judging the quality of this branch of visual novel. Now it's time to whip it out again. Join me in calling f??orth the five metrics that make up the crucible for dating sims. Prospects, Enjoyability, Novelty, Intensity, and Sexiness: these force??s combine to make the mythical P.E.N.I.S. rating system.

Now let’s slap it against some unknowable horro??rs.

Sucker for Love: First Date (PC)
Developer: Akabaka
Publisher: Dread XP
Released: January 20, 2022
MSRP: $9.99

Prospects

As mentioned, Sucker for Love is your opportunity to lay th?ose lips on some Lovecraftian lovelies. From the outset, there is Ln’eta, who is essentially a gender-swapped Cthulhu. Before being introduced to the other interests, you must brave her affections and ride out the end of reality with the lingering sensation of her lips. Lips? Whatever.

T??hen there is Estir, the gender-swapped Hastur, who gets my thighs rubbing together? every time she says “Yhtil�(hnngg). She’s the King in Yellow, the Unspeakable One, She Who is Not to be Named, but you can just call her your majesty.

It’s up to you to choose which of these unknowable terrors from beyond the cosmos you want to pucker up for but be careful. The Elder Gods will not abide by you dipping your t??onsils in someone else’s pie.

There is a third? horror to sate your thirst for world-ending romance, but I ?won’t spoil it.

10/10

Enjoyability

There’s a lot of flavors of Dating Sim. Some of them are essentially just visual novels where you make choices that affect the outcome, others hand you an agenda and make you manage your schedule so you’re worthy enough for love. Sucker for Love is neither of those, and it isn’t like anything ?else in ??the genre, either.

Sucker for Love is, boiled down, a series of rituals?? you must complete as you grow closer to your Lovecraftian lover and gradually unravel the fabric of reality. This isn’t difficult; you make sure the stage is set, then chant the words that will draw you towards your doom. If you do everything correctly, you’re guaranteed to land your nightmarish smooch, but there’s more to the game than that. There are multiple endings to each of the three chapters, and to ensure you get them all, you need to screw the rituals up in just the right way.

Cons?idering my most endearing quality is my pervasive incompetence, this is perfect for me.

10/10

Novelty

In the great sea of dating sims, one themed a??round the H.P. Lovecraft mythos is honestly not that unique. However, the clever writing, narrative tone, and its eccentric gameplay make it stand way, way out among its peers.

The only place Sucker for Love really loses points is in its approach to dating. The chapters, on their own, aren’t very long, so you don’t get to spend much time with your future master. It’s also just a progre??ssion of rituals, so you’re not exactly learning about a world-destroying deities passion for Ikebana. It doesn’t really end up feeling like you’re getting to know a selection of possible partners. It’s more that you’re prodding the margins of reality to find the places it will tear. Eventually, you’ll probably wind up on your knees for each of the impossible horrors, which I find somewhat disappointing for a dating sim.

I prefer to be loyal to my chosen destructor.

5/10

Intensity

Normally, this heading would be used to tell you exactly how many kinks the developer was able to cram into their narrative and whether or not you should make that investment into a vinyl bedcover if you haven’t already. However, the protagonist of Sucker for Love is really just out for smooching. I’m not sure why you’d kill your ambition at first base, but maybe he’s bashful around the prospect of unending torment and madness. I’d s??ay it’s almost wholesome, but then you rip a mask that is affixed to your face to keep your precarious love triangle going.

The game actually starts with a content warning about self-harm and suicide, but really, what video game based on the works of H.P. Lovecraft doesn’t end in suicide. Sucker for Love has one of the most upbeat approaches to violence I have ever witnessed. The m??ere fact that the protagonist is willing to doom humanity to lock lips with a dreamer from the corpse city of Rl’yeh, just tickles me to the core. The fact that part of romance involves coping with the rending of reality is? a bit on the nose, however.

So, you may still need that vinyl bedcover, but it’s to prevent all the gore ??from staining your sheets.

7/10

Sexiness

Now for the question everyone has been asking, “do we get to see an eldritch tit.�No. ??I’m sorry. The world ends without a flash of unknowable nipple.

The whole thin?g is actually really PG. There are few jokes that even make reference to anythin??g lewd. All those tentacles and nowhere to put them.

1/10

If we take a look at the always hyper-accurate P.E.N.I.S., it appears that Sucker for Love has the right equipment, but fails to perform. Really, it’s a matter of expectations. If you go into Sucker for Love with the expectation that it? will end horizontally, then you’re out of luck. However, if you just want to have a good time and see where things go, that’s awfully boring but you’re more likely to enjoy yourself.

One thing that I didn’t enjoy was the thrashing mass of glitches I had to go through to land my lips on target. While there were plenty of minor annoyances, the worst showed its tentacled fa?ce during the climactic last chapter. If you follow one ritual, it crashes the game. You have to complete a lot of rituals in sequence at the end, and while they’re mostly random, this one just kept coming up, and it crashed every tim??e. Maybe there’s a possibility to get through all the events without this one being pulled, but in all my attempts it didn’t happen, so I was just stuck, unable to actually complete the game.

I have faith that such a glaring issue will be fixed eventually, but I waited for its day one patch, and it didn’t fix the issue, so there it is. Bit of a mood killer. (Update: This bug has been patched, tested, and confirmed fixed. The finale is worth i?t.)

If we take our eyes off what the P.E.N.I.S. is suggesting for a minute, Sucker for Love is a wholly enjoyable experience. The writing is hilarious and clever; especially a treat for anyone who has a Necronomicon on their shelf. Its approach to the genre is completely irreverent, and it pulls it off so well it’s f?lattering. It’s certainly not the longest visual novel you will find, but it’s worth forfeiting your sanit?y to summon. Just beware of the bugs that crawl beneath its skin.

_{[This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]}

The post Review: Sucker for Love: First Date appeared first on Destructoid.

Try not to strike out. No, wait...

I love bowling. It would probably be my sport of choice if that wasn’t already breaking hearts. Well, damn! It looks like Serenity Forge figured out a way to combine my two favorite not-on-the-couch pastimes into one video game. I’d say that Date Night Bowling is right up my alley, but then I’d hate myself!

Date Night Bowling (Nintendo Switch [Reviewed], PC)
Developer: Serenity Forge
Publisher: Way Down Deep
Released: November 26, 2021
MSRP: $9.99

Okay, I’m lying about being a heartbreaker, if that’s not already humiliatingly obvious. Not only am I hopeless at the dating game, but I also somehow wound up getting married. That turned out to be helpful for once, as I roped my husband into some Date Night Bowling.

The concept is pretty novel. It’s partially a bowling game, but layered on top is dating. However, don’t make the mistake of thinking that means it’s partially a visual novel where you make dialogue choices, increase your stats,?? and eventually win the heart of the sexiest, most interesting, or kinkiest person in the cast. No, the idea is much simpler. In between each frame of b?owling, you play a mini-game. Your success at that game decides the chemistry between the two characters.

You can play against the AI or head-to-head with another player. I st?arted against the AI, but while that was fine, it became obvious that the real fun is against someone. Perhaps with someone you wish permission to enter the pants of. I used to do awkward dating stuff like that in college!

[embed]//youtu.be/KZ6_OMyZsoY[/embed]

There are 10 characters, but perplexingly, eight of them are locked from the outset. You need to play single-player (not against the?????????????????????????? AI) to unlock the others. That just means bowling, and to be fair, it doesn’t take long to play a single round. However, it puts a damper on the mood when you and your date need to play through individually.

The idea, I think, is to introduce each of the characters, but none of them are complex enough to really make that feel necessary. There’s actually very little dialogue in Date Night Bowling??. Typically every third frame there’s some development, but not a whole lot. I get that this is probably to keep things simple and fun, but it k??ind of feels like the game is stuck between concepts. One is to be a dating sim, the other to be just a fun game to play with your actual real-life date.

Take the bowling, as an example �it has absolutely no bearing on the actual dating narrative. You can win, lose, score high, score low, it doesn’t matter. The date depends on ??the mini-games between, and that only really affects the end-game dialogue where the characters decide whether they’re going on another date. It’s difficult to see what?? the game’s intentions really are.

As mentioned, Date Night Bowling works better as an actual date night game. It has a curious mix of the competitiveness of bowling and the cooperation of trying to get your chemistry up. You can be proud that you won and disappointed that your partner flubbed the date. Itâ€??™s also fun to see where t?he mini-games wind up.

There’s a decent assortment of dating games. They range from finding shoes in lockers to winning at a crane machine. Some of them are a win/fail kind of deal, others give you pity points if you do halfway decent. Some are definitely more difficult than others. Some seem to be more difficult than they should be. But it’s a nice ass??ortment and the fact that they’re not all easy wins add a dash of chaos and luck to the mix.

You can also kick the difficulty up on both the mini-games and bowling if you feel like having the added challenge. Simply changing bowlers typically did that for me, as some handle completely differently than ??others. You have to adjust your technique to account for higher speed or spin.

Oh, right, the bowling. It’s about what you’d expect??. Set your position, your aim, your spin, and your power. It’s pretty standard. The weirdest part about it is that it’s all in 2D, so it’s hard to get a real feel for the pin physics. However, it fits the game’s lightweight framework.

There’s no real continuity to anything. Each date sort of exists on its own, and if you play it again, it plays out the same way. So there’s no career, neither in bowling nor in dating. Your chosen characters don’t get to know each other better, and you don’t rise the ranks. It feels sort of like a wa?sted opportunity. It’s probably a case where it was just out of the game’s scope, but at the same time, I think it’s something that would have improved it immensely.

Th??ere are a few steps that could have been taken to elevate the game, but the whole package feels like a side-project. Not to say it’s unpolished, it’s more that it’s just hyper-focused and could have benefitted fr?om a little more ambition.

However, it’s a fun time if you know what you’re getting into. It’s Date Night Bowling, and it does what it says on the box. There’s bowling and there’s dating. It’s a fun time if you can wrangle a partner, romantic or otherwise, but it doesn’t rea??lly have lasting appeal. A few times through, then you can take your balls elsewhere.

_{[This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]}

The post Review: Date Night Bowling appeared first on Destructoid.

It's the shoes you wear

I've never been on a date to a bowling alley, or, come to think of it, the cinema, or the zoo... or a restaurant... or... Anyway, where was I? I've never been on a date to a bowling alley, but soon I, you, and everyone else can experience love among the clattering pins with the release of Date Night Bowling, a cute new dating sim from indie outfit Serenity Forge.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZ6_OMyZsoY

Date Night Bowling will see t?he player choose from one of 10 "very special someones" before embarking on a (hopefully) fun night out down at the local bowlarama. Make sweet small talk, play a few frames, grab a bite to eat,?? even hit up the arcades in a pleasant evening of strikes, onion rings, and terrible footwear. Roll through a selection of fast-paced and enjoyable mini-games as you attempt to woo the object of your desires. Don't strike out! Wait, that's baseball.

As you can see from this description and the trailer above, Date Night Bowling looks to be a very fun and very cute title. The dating sim also supports two-player cooperative play. So who knows? perhaps you and that special somebody might enjoy the virtual night out together. Published by Way Down Deep, Date Night Bowling will launch digitally on November 26 for PC and Nintendo Switch, retailing for the m?odest pr?ice of just $10.

The post Will you pick up a spare in Date Night Bowling? appeared first on Destructoid.

Dino drama receives a full narrative overhaul

Canadian indie outfit KO_OP has announced that the hip-looking Goodbye Volcano High will u??nfortunatel??y no longer be arriving in 2021. The high school dino drama has been hit with a delay, and is now expected to arrive on PlayStation and PC platforms in 2022.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=LW_S9znpklI&feature=emb_t????????????????????????????itle

Originally revealed in the summer of 2020, Goodbye Volcano High p?romises to deliver all the chaos, stress, soul-searching, and angst of everybody's high school years, delivered via the medium of a party of trendy 'n' scaly dinosaur kids. As you can see from the trailer above, it looks to be a very dramatic and evocative adventure, and I'm certainly left unnerved by the logo's ominous use of what app?ears to be a devastating meteor... Here's hoping our guys 'n' gals make it to graduation.

The development of Goodbye Volcano High has met hurdles due to the effects of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. In addition, the game's narrative was recently overhauled by the talented writers of Sweet Baby Inc., whose story work has featured in a wide variety of games ranging from indie hits such as Neo Cab to big-budget blockbusters like Ubisoft's Assassin's Creed Valhalla. While the delay will come as a frustration to both developers and fans alike, games such as Goodbye Volcano High often live and die on their storytelling, and thus it is comforting to see KO_OP dedicate time and energy to ensu??ring the narrative will be one for the ages... Jurassic or otherwise.

Goodbye Volcano High launches on PS4, PS5, and PC in 2022.

The post Goodbye Volcano High has been placed in detention unti??l 2022 appeared first on Destructoid.

The Colonel returns to quench hunger, thirst

Y'all are straight-up thirsty. The recent craze over Lady Dimitrescu from Resident Evil Village has really exposed ??a lot of folks for their giant vampire lady fetish, showing that yes, gamers can and will get turned on by anything.

Well, this is what it's like when worlds collide. My fetish, stupid fast food-based video games, is meeting yours with KFC Dating Simulator 2.

KFC Dating Simulator: Part 2

A tall order to say the least... pic.twitter.com/RLie5R4hTO

— KFC Gaming (@kfcgaming) February 5, 2021

Little is known of this sequel to 2019's premiere fast-food chain dating game, but judging from the tweet above, KFC is really trying to capitalize on the giant vamp zeitgeist. It's likely just a one-off Twitter joke, but joke games have become real games before. Ask anyone who enjoyed Cat Girl without Salad: Amuse-Bouche. I'm personally hoping that they manage to fit the Colonel into the Resident Evil canon:

Lost in the frozen European wilds, Chris Redfield stumbles upon an ancient village afflicted with a curse. As he battles the lupine forces that oppress him, he meets the village chef: Colonel Sanders. At first a welcome sight, Lady Dimitrescu? enters the fray, causing a divide between the odd threesome. Redfield and Sanders battle it out using both fists and forks to win the giant heart of the countess.

Then a giant boulder appe?ar??s, and well, you know the rest.

Whether this is just for a laugh or something a bit more real, let's just hope if it actually gets made, it releases on both Steam and the KFConsole.

The post I really want this KFC and Resident Evil Village?? dating sim crossover to be real appeared first on Destructoid.

Finally, we get to do the Monster Mash!

In today's contest you can win Monster Prom XXL on Switch from Super Rare Games!

It's almost Halloween! It's by far my favorite holiday, and definitely my favorite time of the year, weather-wise (well, not anymore n??ow that I live in Phoenix, but st?ill...). Ghosts, zombies, mutants, and freaks roam the streets searching for souls. But what do they all have in common? They're monsters!

Today's theme is monsters: Super Rare Games just put out the highly anticipated Monster Prom XXL on Switch, and we've ??got a copy of the standard edition to give out! Happy Halloween, y'all!

You've got three weeks to find a date to the prom -- what's a monster to do? ?In this unique competitive multiplayer dating sim (?!) you'll race against both time and other lonely monsters to find that perfect match to meet your monstrous desires. I can honestly say I've never heard of anything quite like this, which is exactly why I pestered the SRG team until they gave me a copy. I'm annoying like that. Here are some more game features!

• Competitive dating sim - Nothing makes the heart grow fonder than a little competition. Set your gaze on one of the sweethearts, but if you share your romantic tastes with your friends, be ready for some stiff competition.
• Fantastically funny writing - All's fair in love and war, except maybe taking yourself too seriously. Through whimsical, postmodern humor, written by Cory O’Brien, Maggie Herskowitz and Julián Quijano, there is no topic Monster Prom won’t make fun of, including itself.
• Gorgeous art - There’s never a dull moment while exploring the beautifully crafted world and characters drawn by Arthur Tien.
• Freedom of choice - Monsters don’t like boys or girls, they like monsters. In Monster Prom the game experience is unaffected by gender or sexual orientation, since finding love is already hard enough.

Monster Prom XXL come?s with all the u?sual Super Rare fixin's, including:

• Fully assembled Nintendo Switch game with cartridge
• Interior art
• Full-colour manual
• Exclusive sticker
• 3 card trading card pack

To enter to win your copy, use the widget below to leave your name and email address. You can enter daily. Click around for ways to earn bonus entries, and be sure to hit up Nintendo Enthusiast to double your odds!

We have one copy of the standard edition to give away; our winner will be drawn next Thursday. Super Rare Games ships worldwide, so anyone can enter. Good luck, Wales!

Monster Prom XXL has only 5,000 copies available, and is on sale now from Super Rare Games.

Dtoid Contest: Win Monster Prom XXL on Swi??tch from Super Ra??re Games

The post Contest: Win Monster Prom XXL on Switch from Super Rare?? Gam??es appeared first on Destructoid.

Our mother shoulda just named you Laika

For the last couple of months, dating sims have been my jam. It was only a matter of time before I stepped up to the plate for Destructoid and gave one a proper scrutinizing. Best Friend Forever i?s the game being pitched in my direction, and it’s one with an interesting twist. It bills itself as part dating sim and part virtual pet. Not only are you attempting to woo the single of your choice??????????????????????????, but you also get a dog to take care of and train.

However, for the purpose of dating sims, I find the single score system of Destructoid’s reviews to be inadequate. Instead, I’m putting into place a more robust system specifically to critique this most sacred of sub-genres. The game will be rated under five categories important to a successfu??l dating sim, summarized -- but not aggregated -- by the overall score. They are Prospects, Enjoyability, Novelty, Intensity, and Sexiness. I christen this ingenious new method: the P.E.N.I.S. rating system.

So, let’s see how Best Friend Forever measures up.

Best Friend Forever (PC, Switch [reviewed])
Developer: Starcolt
Publisher: Alliance
Released: August 27, 2020
MSRP: $19.99

PROSPECTS

I hope you’re ready for layers, an??d I’m not referring to deep personalities. I mean these people all dress like the town is encased entirely within a temperature-controlled shopping mall. It’s impossible to tell what season it is because there are park??as and scarfs right next to tank tops and shorts.

There’s a nice spectrum of people, though. Best Friend Forever is inclusive with a capital I, so if you’re someone who has a distaste for referring to a??????????????????????????n individual with the plural third-person, then you’ll be out of place in Rainbow Bay??.

For your sampling, you’ll find Anders, a well-dressed lawyer with poor vision; Sacha, a sunny mannered trans man;?? Felix, a shy librarian who wears underarm holsters due to his love of true crime; Robin, a fiery red-headed nurse; Astrid, an aspiring figure skater; and Maribel, a socially conscientious urban planner. If you’re familiar with dating sims, you can probably guess they all have some dark blotch in their past that threatens to get in the way of your relationship.

It’s a reasonable selection, and every one of them is rampantly pansexual, but much to my chagrin, there are no demons, vampires, or werewolves to love on. I guess not eve??ry game can cater to my preferences.

8/10

ENJOYABILITY

Any flavor of visual novel is going to live and die on its writing, and I’m happy to report that in the case of Best Friend Forever, it&rsq??uo;s pretty on point. The dialogue is bright and thoroughly entertaining. Dramatic scenes don’t drag on for too long, it’s absolutely loaded with puns, and it’s frequently funny. It gives off a warm vibe overall.

There’s also the constant presence of your dog to keep things interesting. There are four to choose from: a Staffordshire, a Maltese, a Shiba Inu, and a mutt. During all dialogue, your little pupper pal stays in the corner, often farting and pooping during emotional moments. It’s your job to ke??ep them under control, even if that means accidentally advancing the text while trying to stop them from digging a hole.

On that note, one thing that did hamper my enjoyment is that, even on the Switch version, all interaction is done using a cursor. You can adjust the speed of it, but I cranked that slider to the moon and still felt it was too slow and cumbersome. I can understand why it was left this way, but it ?is less than ideal.

7/10

NOVELTY

The only way for a dating sim to stand out these days are if it has some sort of twist. We are long past the days of Tokimeki Memorial, where you cou??ld drop the player back into high school, have them romance classmates, and call it a day. Now the school has to be some sort of niche academy for magicians or robots, and the classmates have to follow suit.

Best Friend Forever puts you in dog school. In the beginning, you’re given 15 weeks to turn your dog into the best boy, and you’re graded at the end. That’s an interesting twist since instead of b?ettering yourself to meet the unreasonable standards of your target conquest, you pu??t all your effort into making your best friend suck less.

The system for doing so will be familiar to anyone experienced in dating sims. The game is divided into 15 weeks and each week allows you to choose five activities with your dog ??that will allow you to increase their stats in five categories: manners, social, trust, smarts, and fitness. Every five weeks you check in with Paws Academy and learn about how badly you did. At the end of the fifteen weeks is graduation where you have a chance for your?? dog to win valedictorian.

On top of this is also your dog's needs. T?here are five categories here as well: satiation, hydration, mood, hygiene, and energy. Keeping them full is so laughably easy to do so, that there’s almost no point. You’re given three actions to perform whatever tasks will make your dog happy, but I usually only needed one or two to max out their needs, then I just wasted the third.

All thin??gs considered, the game’s hook sort of falls flat.

5/10

INTENSITY

I wouldn’t really go looking for any sort of danger in a who??lesome game about dog upkeep, so I’m not surprised I didn’t find any. Unless one of the romances that I didn’t experience all the way through ends in a shootout, there’s not much excitement to be had. Even the dark secrets hidden by each romantic prospect aren’t that dark.

There’s a crime that happens ?at the turning point, but that’s about it.

There’s also a weird lack of CG scenes in the game. I chalk this up to the fact that you choose between three different a??ndrogynous-ish avatars, a choice that is rare in the sub-genre, but I’ve played other dating sims that let you customize your character and they still threw in some on-screen smooches. The descriptions of all the various games of tonsil hockey you’re likely to play do tend to be pretty vivid, but there really is no substitute for an image of your avatar with a tongue down their throat.

3/10

SEXINESS

Now we get to the question I know you’ve been asking since the start: “What are my chances of seeing a naked boob in this game?” Well, if you weren’t able to already guess by the game’s cheerful art style, chances are low. There are cheerful boobs out there, but this isn’t a dating sim like True Love, a game in which you can bear witness to the emergence of many boobs. No, not a boob to be? seen here.

On the other hand, the game isn’t so coy as to avoid the subject of sex. These people are adults and they act like it, constantly dropping innuendo and purposefully mistaking others’ intentions. However, the game is sure to fade to black during foreplay. If you’re not familiar with dating sims, this means you’ll get lavish details about passionate ki??ssing and unclothing, but it stops before the exposition has to describe the firmness of a butt.

6/10

Things are looking a bit lop-sided on the P.E.N.I.S. rating system, but an unimpressive P.E.N.I.S. can be forgotten if the experience manages to be something special. Unfortunately, My Best Friend is certainly imaginative,? but the execu?tion is off.

I&rsquo??;d be amiss if I didn’t mention the frequent glitches I encountered in the game. They ranged from dialogue options disappearing to characters duplicating to this one hilarious time when the class valedictorian was awarded to “NOT FOUND [ruffroyale dog 0].” It wasn’t always so funny, however. The missing choice boxes meant I had to repeat days to get them to show up again, and the email system, which I’m pretty sure is supposed to provide some narrative substance, never ever worked at all. My review copy was obtained a week before launch on Switch, so it may,?? hopefully, be patched up in time, but that can’t be guaranteed.

On my first, and most canonical playthrough, I aimed my sights at Anders, as there was a lot about him that reminded me of my husband. I named my dog after m?y real-life dog, and I had a reasonably good time. I was far from making valedictorian, but I enjoyed the game’s script and thought it was a light-hearted ??and breezy dating sim.

Then I played it a second time with another romantic sub-plot, and did even worse with my dog, despite my best efforts. Then I played it a third time and didn’t bother training my dog to see what happens when you create the worst good boy. I got reprimanded in the end, but nothing changed in the romanc??e. I didn’t try draining the dog’s needs to see if it dies or gets taken away, though. I’m ?not a monster.

It hit me how superficial a lot of the mechanics in Best Friend Forever are. I had thought that, similar to a typical dating sim, you’d have to train specific stats to score points with your lover, but it’s more segregated and mechanical than that. The dog lends a layer of brightness to the game, s??o it’s not entirely wasted, but from a gameplay standpoint, it’s pointless. From a purely visual novel standpoint, the game is entertaining and well-written, but it fails to make use of the one thing that makes it unique. It has the love it needs, but it wi??ll need more training before it can truly be called a "good boy."

_{[This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]}

The post Review: Best Friend Forever appeared first on Destructoid.

...and as savory as you'd expect

If you told me back in 2011 that Catherine was going to make its way to a future Nintendo console, I would have let out the most uproarious laughter and/or that cute Animal Crossing question mark reaction. My, how the?? times have? changed.

Here we are in the year of our lord 2020 where literally nothing makes sense anymore, so why not port one of the most erotic puzzle games of all time to a Nintendo console? Seriously though, it's a smart move on Atlus' part to expand the Catherine: Full Body remaster to other consoles &ndas??h; especially one that is made for portable transportation.

However, it's a completely different story if you want to play this one?? in public...

For those who need refreshing, Catherine is a puzzle game slash (arguably) dating sim where the protagonist, Vincent??, is trapped between sticking with his long-term girlfriend or moving on?? to a mysteriously obsessive new hotness. His punishment for being a trashbag human is to suffer through climbing a tower of blocks each night, ending with a judgment on his character.

Players alternate between evenings of chattin??g with Vincent's friends at a bar, sending texts to the? C/Katherines, and solving the nightmare puzzles that make up the core of the game. 

Catherine: Full Body is the remaster that came to PlayStation 4 last September which included a new character, Rin, along with new cutscenes and other fun additions. Ten months later, it's arrived on the Switch, and is about as solid as any port can hope to be. Wh??en playing through, it felt like the original experience all over again, this time with beefed-up graphics and new stuff to watch.

The one minor gripe I have with the Switch version is that I'm not the biggest fan of the Joy-Con's d-pad, so solving some of the blo??ck puzzles can be slightly frustrating or inhibiting if you're used to a stronger controller, but with a Switch Pro Controller, it shouldn't be that much of an issue.

For anyone who hasn't gotten the chance to play the Full Body experience yet, a few of the added features (like multiplayer) – along with the remix puzzle format, content, cutscenes, and endings – are definitely worth the jump. The Full Body Bonus Content DLC, which has some fun upgrades like glasses that ?show characters in their underwear, is als??o included in this $49.99-at-launch Switch port (for comparison, the DLC is currently sitting at $24.99 on the PlayStation Store).

As for the Switch port, I enjoyed the game mechanics outside of the Joy-Con experience, and the music and cutscenes were surprisingly crisp. However, for those who have already played through the Full Body PS4 release, there's not much difference with the Switch version outside of the DLC bonus con?tent and the ability to take the game to a public space.

Although let's be real, nobody is getting close ?enough to you in a post-coronaviru??s world to see the weird stuff you play.

The post Catherine: Full Body’s Nintendo Switch port is sweet appeared first on Destructoid.

Encore!

Times are tough for the Tokyo Imperial Theater. In the decade following The Great War, the International Combat Revue's Flower Division has fallen on hard times. If it wasn't enough that the theater ??troupe's best performers never returned from the battlefield all those years ago, its replacement thespians are struggling to find their own identity?? in the looming shadow of those that came before.

Under-furnished, under-funded, and under-attended, the once-great theater has become a laughing stock to its audience, with its new cast desperate for direction, support, and guidance. It will be up to a stranger to bring passion and per?formance back to the rickety wooden stage, to help its promising-but-doubting young actors reach the peak of their dramatic potential. To reach, maybe surpass, the theater's storied legacy...

...Also, to guide them in mech-ridi??ng warfare against armies of inter-dimensio??nal demons aiming to bring about the global apocalypse.

Having been 15 years since the last release, many fans were sure Sakura Wars had taken its final bow. But with this, the sixth mainline entry and only the second to launch in the west, Sega is giving the franchise a fresh start. Powered by a new engine, starring a brand new cast of characters, and with only rudimentary connections to previous titles, Sakura Wars is intended as a "jumping-off" point for new fans and hopes to enchant them with i??ts trademark mash-up of JRPG, visual novel, dating sim, and explosive mech-based combat. Curtain up??.

Sakura Wars (PS4)
Developer: Sega CS2
Publisher: Sega
Released: April 28, 2020
MSRP: $59.99

Sakura Wars is a game of two distinct halves. "Adventure Mode" consists of a dialogue-heavy, character-driven RPG/social sim, while "Battle Mode" sees the cast take to their personalised mechs for demon-mashing combat. It's important to note upfront, however, that Sakura Wars leans heavily?? on the former. At an estimate, the ratio of social sim to mech warfare stands about 70:30. This will come as? no surprise to series fans, but should be clarified for newcomers.

Set in an alternate 1940s Tokyo, Sakura Wars puts players in the role of Seijro Kamiyama, a handsome young man who, in true anime fashion, has risen to the rank of naval captain despite looking 16 ye?ars old. He also carries two swords at all times. Yeah, why not? In the aftermath of the last demonic conflict, Sejiro is stationed at the Imperial Theat?er, where he is tasked with turning around the venue's ailing reputation while cultivating its troupe of actors-cum-demon fighters: The Flower Division.

As Seijiro, the player is introduced to a cast of new characters, lovingly designed by Bleach creator Tite Kubo. Front and center are the Flower Division themselves: boisterous Hatsuho; studious Claris; deadpan child ninja Azami; stage diva Anastasia; and poster girl Sakura Amamiya. In time, Seijiro will also meet the theater's staff and patrons, the local townsfolk, and other Combat Revue representatives. Adventure Mode amounts to wandering the theater and its surrounding locations, engaging in lengthy conversations with the cast, and getting embroiled in silly shenanigans. From minute one, Sakura Wars is w??holly personality-driven. The emphasis on building close relationships through dialogue choices and running errands is the spine of its gameplay.

While at first glance Sakura Wars might seem reminiscent of a Persona 5 or a Yakuza, it doesn't have quite the same level of activity to offer. There is no buying-and-selling in stores, for example. The town exists merely as a stage for character interaction, scene-setting, or – for smooth-tongued Lotharios – starlit dates. Sakura Wars does have its share of fun side-activities, however, including combat simulator Battle-Bot, traditional card game Koi-Koi, and a habitual obsession with collecting hidden "bromides" (or photographs). Overall it does lack ??the variety of similar "stroll around town" RPGs, instead choosing to focus squarely on conversations and relationships.

It's fortunate, then, that Sakura Wars successfully hits it out of the park with its delightful new cast. These characters, while admittedly as tropey as any other JRPG, are simply a joy to engage with. Dialogue-c?entric games necessitate good scripting, and while some eyes may roll at the inevitable cheese and creep factor that occasionally rears its head, the conversations had in and around the city are almost always a pleasure, rarely a chore.

The striking charisma of each character is a testament to Sakura Wars' excellent vocal performances. Despite only featuring the original Japanese voice track, every spoken nuance – from sorrow to shame, happiness to sarcasm, comedic timing, and everything in-between – all hits with vigor and clarity. Each character brings a unique dynamic to the dialogue, whilst Seijiro himself is a solid protagonist, if scattered in his moral center. The flawed, down-to-earth nature of the cast helps endear them to the player, even if their individual ??character arcs are somewhat? plain.

Perhaps most surprisingly of all, the writing is often very funny. Not "OMG! Girls' Pants!" funny (although plenty of that material exists herein), but legitimately witty. Many scenes are loaded with smart comebacks, dubious misunderstandings, expressive reactions, and even some classic physical comedy. It can be difficult to resist "breaking" the narrative by intentionally choo??sing the worst dialogue options simply because you want to see ?the unfolding social disaster.

Eventually, inevitably, all the gals get gooey-eyed for our boy Seijiro, enabling clumsy dates and "communication" scenes. The latter are weird first-person sequences where you literally click on your favorite gal's hair, lips, and cheeks while she blushes and stammers "W-what is this thing that you call 'k-kissing?'" Ok, maybe not exactly that, but you know the score. An integral part of the franchise, Sakura Wars' romance scenes bounce between coy and, frankly, creepy-as-fuck. Succes??sful trysts will unlock battle bonuses, special bromides, and custom endings.

Out of interest, I somehow ended up dating an entirely different girl to the one I was actually trying to court, which should gi?ve you some idea as to why I'm such a total catch in real life... Stop laughing.

At the climax of each chapter, plot necessity calls The Flower Division into Battle Mode. What follows is, for want of better description, stripped-down Dynasty Warriors gameplay as Seijiro and Co. take to the Dark Re??alm for demon-smashing showdowns. At this point, it becomes apparent that the action sequences are unequivocally the "side mode" to the game's social? elements.

Now, that isn't to say that action is Sakura Wars is terrible. The character models are slickly designed, the visual effects are stunning, and the fights are technically proficient – with nary a single frame-drop in sight. But the combat is super-simplistic, both by design and in nature, boiling down to mashing out the same optimised combo repeatedly until everyone's dead. Throughout my playthrough, I never once lost a fight, wiping out armies of demons with absolute ease. The Flower Division was virtually unstoppable come the final act, defeating major boss characters in seconds. What did you expect? I wasn't made a naval captain for nothing...wait, I wasn't made a naval captain at all.

The action has its plus-points. Incessant chatter keeps the fight "alive" with personality, the player can switch out their character for variety, and there are some stylish, cinematic special maneuvers. But it should be clarified that Sakura Wars' priorities lie definitively ??with its social elements. I guess you can't fight mechs when there's still head pats to be dished out and bakeries to visit.

Where Sakura Wars shines – truly shines – is in its magnificent presentation. From its wonderful opening sequence, which I watched every time, to its emotional climax, Sakura Wars buzzes with energy. It boasts a majestic score by Kohei Tanaka, with the One Piece composer's soundtrack packed full of infectious themes and well-fit compositions. Accentuating scenes of hope, tragedy, joy, goofiness, and celebration, the s??core is as muc??h a leading character as anyone in The Flower Division.

For all of its peaks and pitfalls, it's crystal clear that Sakura Wars really, really wants you to fall in love with the franchise. It goes above and beyond to bewitch the player with its upbeat tone, colourful settings, and friendly characters. The whole adventure is dripping with an infectious "feel-good" positivity that gets under your skin. What it lacks in deep, engaging combat, and interesting side-attractions, Sakura Wars makes up for in heart, a game enthusiastically hoping to welcome you into? the Imperial Combat Revue family.

Personally, I had a great time with Sakura Wars. I was in love with its characters, I dug its witty script, I enjoyed its triumphant tone, and I've been humming its indelible score for weeks. If you are up for an exciting anime tale packed with dialogue, drama, and dating, then grab a front-row seat. But those expecting an action-heavy title that prioritises deep combat, knife-edge boss battles, intricate plotting, and not a lot of "looking wistfully out of windows" might best be served elsewhere, or left waiting on a discount. Sega has been mostly successful here, but there are definite lessons to be learned for fut?ure entries.

Sakura Wars represents an ambitious new start for the franchise, one that might not be to everyone's tastes. While ?its mediocre combat and dialogue-heavy design may leave some players disengaged, its fabulous presentation, pleasing visuals, delightful characters, and histrionic melodrama will delig?ht others. Perhaps most importantly, it offers the franchise a bright future bursting with potential. Encore!

_{[This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by t?h??e publisher.]}

The post Review: Sakura Wars appeared first on Destructoid.

Three days 'till curtain

We are less than a week away from the western launch of Sega's Sakura Wars, the newest entry in a long-running strategy-RPG franchise that is yet to find much more than a niche audience outside of its native Japan. This is obviously not helped by the fact that only one of the series' five mainline titles has seen official localisation, in 2005's PS2 (and later Nintendo Wii) release Sakura Wars: So Long, My Love.

Sega seems very aware of this fact, and as such is positioning the new Sakura Wars as a "fresh start" for the franchise, one that hopes to proudly acknowledge the series' storied legacy, while opening up its genre-blending adventure to new generations of fans worldwide.

Over the past week or so, I've been treading the boards with the Imperial Combat Revue's Flower Division. To the un??initiated, they are an under-funded group o??f thespians, who have made the natural career progression from Am-dram performers to mech-riding monster hunters. Existing within an alternate, steampunk-infused 1940, the Imperial Combat Revue are a global network defending the planet from ever-increasing demon attacks, while operating a modest business in their downtime. In our heroes' case, it's the dilapidated Tokyo Imperial Theater.

From minute one, Sakura Wars attempts to succinctly define its universe and lore to the player, done via some simple exposition that revisions events within the Sakura Wars timeline. While this entry features an entirely new combat style, cast, and storyline, the narrative does not completely abandon its legacy, referenced through casual dialogue or imagery, and anchored in returning character Sumire Kanzaki. While Sakura Wars is pitched as a reboot, it still feels snug ??to ?class it as a latter-day sequel.

It's crystal clear that Sega intends Sakura Wars to be the "jumping-off point" for new fans. It debuts new mechanics, a brand-new engine, and a huge cast of new stars. While it isn't disrespectful enough to completely ignore what has come before, it does re-draw the line, firmly marking this entry as a new beginning for the series, no doubt with hopes of pulling in fans old and new for another decade of demon-battling, Koi-Koi playing, awkward dating action.

As to whether it succeeds in ??these efforts, we'll let you know how we feel very soon.

Sakura Wars launches April 28 on PS4.

The post Sak??ura Wars aims to springboard new fans into its spirited world appeared first on Destructoid.

11 herbs, spices, inches

It's not enough to sell us foods laden with saturated fats, covered in buckets of sodium, and drenched in fried grease. No??, KFC -- and really, the fast food industry at large -- have much loftier goals in mind. They're going straight for our stomachs, for sure, but now they're targeting our hearts (and not in the way that makes them explode from malnutrition, as they traditionally have).

There's now a dating game where you can date The Colonel, and it's being published by KFC itself. They're getting way, way too good at this.

Because the world makes so very little sense, I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator is currently in development on Steam. You play as a young culinary student who finds themselves in class (taught by Professor Dog, a scholarly corgi) with none other than a hot-young-anime version of The Colonel himself. You must use your skills in the kitchen -- and in the bedroo??m -- to defeat your rivals and woo the pioneer of pollo into choosing you as his personal sous chef.

You know, they've always said their chicken was finger lickin' good, but they never specified whose fingers. I'd always assumed it was your own, but now I can see it. It's a warm spring day, and you and The Colonel are taking a nice, leisurely bike ride through the park. You stop and get a soda pop from a food cart, and Senpai Sanders looks at you with that gleam in his eye. Not as a man would look at a lover, but as a man would look at a delicious piece of southern-style fried chicken. He whisks you home. He dips your fingers in his secret recipe, each one delicately. Deliberately. Desperately. He pulls ??your fingers toward his mouth, opens the bearded cave of his gaping maw, and licks your fingers, one by one, tasting each and every herb and spice. The Colonel is yours, and you are his forever.

...shit! I just gav??e away the secret ending to the game! Sorry, KFC.

I Love You, Col?onel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Go??od Dating Simulator [Steam]

The post KFC is making a dating sim where you can ?date Colonel Sanders, and my lif??e is complete appeared first on Destructoid.

Yes, I said date them

In today's contest, you're going to date dogs in A Summer with the Shiba Inu for Steam.

I love my job. I get to do contests like every day where I ge??t to give you guys cool, interesting, popular, and sometimes batshit crazy stuff. I'll let you decide into which category to place this one. I know where I'm putting it.

I'd like you to play A Summer with the Shiba Inu. I'd really like for you to play it. Please enter our contest??, and win a Steam copy so you can play it. I'll be a good boy, I swear.

So we've covered this game before. The rub is that you're Syd, a shiba inu returning to your hometown. The world is run by dogs. You're lonely. You just want to make friends and find love. B??ut it's a dog eat dog world out there. This visual novel sees the ups and downs of a dog's life as she must deal with the past she left behind. Also did I mention it's a dog visual novel/dating sim? Chew on that for a little bit.

Here are some game features:

• 3 main endings for Syd, with 10+ endings for other dogs depending on your actions!
• Visual novel with story word count of ~70,000
• Random facts about dogs in menus
• 30 Steam achievements
• Dog bark button in preference menu

This game has both random dog facts in ??menus, AND a dog bark button. Stop reading this. Just enter to win. Or better yet, buy it. You owe me one.

To enter to win, comment below telling us the toughest part about being a dog. Clearly, finding the time to sleep all day is a stressful thing for dogs. My dog, Nala, spends about 85% of her day sleeping. I?t just seems like she doesn't have the tim??e to do the things she loves. Like sleeping. I know sleeping 100% of her day is tough, but a girl can dream, right?

We have eight Steam keys to give away; winners will be drawn Friday, September 6. Please make sure to comment using a Dtoid account with your current email address on file. Don't have an account? Sign up here to get doggone crazy with us.

A Summer with the Shiba Inu is available now for Steam. If you don't win it, buy it.

The post Contest: Pet, date dogs ??in A Summer with the Shiba?? Inu appeared first on Destructoid.

Who's your daddy?

The Game Grumps team has announced that their fun dad-dating game Dream Daddy is set to release on mobile platforms and Nintendo Switch in its update??d "Dadrector's Cut" incarnation.

Originally released back in the summer of 2017, Dream Daddy is the story of you, the player, as a single father who has moved into a new town with your ??daughter, where you'll find a variety of hunks - all fighting off middle-aged spread and bad knees - and engage in conversation, mini-games and side-quests, leading to one of a selection of different endings.

The "Dadrector's Cut" launched alongside the PS4 release, and adds cut content from the original release, including new cutscenes, side-quests and even a few secrets. Mobile users won't have long to wait at all, as Dream Daddy: Dadrector's Cut will launch on iOS and Android tomorrow, June 25. The ?Nintendo Switch port will hit the eShop ??on July 2.

Dream Daddy: Dadrector's Cut is available now on PS4 and PC.

The post Dream Daddy: Dadrector’s Cut coming to mobile and Nintendo Switch appeared first on Destructoid.

You're a girl, you hate fighting but like dating and boys, right?

SNK has revealed the existence of a new upcoming King of Fighters mob??ile game which will afford players the opportunity? to date some of the hunky dudes from the long-running fighting game franchise. The new "otome" title (as the cool kids have informed me) is coming to Japanese mobile platforms this summer.

In The King of Fighters for Girls players will step into the shoes of a destitute young woman who finds herself working at the same gym as KoF hottie Kyo Kusanagi, this becomes the jumping off point for a series of interactions with various KoF heroes, all of whom seem? to be usi??ng an Instagram filter to give them starry eyes and softer hair.

The characters revealed so far include Kyo, his team-mate Benimaru, Fatal Fury's Bogard brothers and their pal Joe Higashi, Art of Fighting's Ryo Sakazaki and Robe?rt Garcia, robo boyz K' and Maxima, small child Bao, along with Nagi, Yomi, goofball Shingo Y??abuki and bad boys 4 life Billy Kane and, of course, Iori Yagami. No Ash Crimson? For fuck's sake.

You can check out a gallery of the guys (and the protagonist) below. Swoon, right? Still - and I'm sorry to bang on about this - but what's with that tit?le? Awful on so many levels, and even given a pass for translation issues, it's still such a dated and archaic way of approaching an audience in 2019. Why not "The King of Lo??vers"? or "Bang Iori Simulator"?

The King of Fighters for Girls launches in Japan this summer ??for iOS and Android devices.

The post Date ?your favourite dudes in the atrociously-titled King of Fighters for Girls appeared first on Destructoid.

Is it creepy that I made my first Lovers of Aether date the self-insert of one of my favorite artists?

My favorite kind of April Fools’ joke is where developers create mock-ups for products so ridiculous they’ll probably never exist. It's even better when they actually release that product and it ends up being great! In the video game industry, these jokes often take the form of spin-offs from ex??isting IPs in different genres. And I see one particular genre chosen for faux (and?? real!) April Fools’ spin-offs more often than most -- dating simulators. Or at least visual novels flavored like dating simulators if you want to nitpick the gameplay differences, but they’re used as common April Fools’ jokes all the same.

While this trend could possibly have originated as a derogatory satire of early dating sims, this genre has slowly detached from its stigma over time. Heck, even indie dating sim devs like Boyfriend Dungeon's Kitfox Games willingly joined this year’s shenanigans with a faux Enter the Gungeon crossover. I ?don’t believe it’s? fair or accurate to say dating sims are a common subject of April Fools’ jokes solely to mock them, especially not these days. Rather, they are one of the most feasible and effective mediums for delivering a hilarious prank, especially when going as far as to make it actually playable.

Even the most ambitious of April Fools’ projects rarely have a lot of time and money on their side. There are radical ??exceptions with glowing neo?n laser dragons, but most April Fools&rsqu??o; games are free mini-downloads or temporary patches t?hat probably got made with a sliver of resources compared to the same developers’ commercial releases. They need a small development scope, and visual novels are one of the least complicated genres to develop in.

I don’t mean to underst??ate the time and effort it takes to make a good visual novel, as any writing-heavy medium brings challenges unlike any other form of game development. Then again, that’s a part of it. Because most VNs?? have so little in the way of elaborate gameplay mechanics to program and balance, developers can more easily delegate a VN side-project to team members or third parties that specialize in other skills. The genre is a gateway into novice and hobbyist game development because it’s a much less intimidating medium up front. It's still intimidating in practice, but developers that already have experience in other genres would find it much less so.

It’s also easier to create rapid-fire gags through writing than with visual humor alone. The latter is a cornerstone of just about any excellent April Fools’ project, but developing an original and convincingly high-quality art asset takes much more time than writing a single good joke. Case in point, this piece took me several hours to write, but it's full of a multitude of comedic quips. I can't guarantee they're good jokes, but at least I convinced my ego they ar?e!

If you asked me to create a funny image illustrating the contrary, I’d probably break into my furry art commission funds and hire someone to draw my moth persona tre?ating a lamp to a candlelit dinner. That one image would take about as long to draw as I used to write this piece if I wanted it t?o be the quality of a VN asset. And furry art from artists who charge themselves responsible rates isn't cheap.

I could say those same points about VNs that parody mystery stories, horror stories, or any genre of story to ever be conceived in fiction. What high school dating has that other VNs don’t is an innately casual and awkward atmosphere. It’s much faster to set up punchlines in a premise where comedy is already a no?rm, especially when juxtaposing that premise against the elements of an IP that were clearly designed for anything but. Seriously, a high school dating sim is about as far as you can get from the traditional gameplay premise of being good at first-degree murder.

Again, I emphasize that I'm not making an overgeneralized claim such as “all video games are violent”, especially while I’m already discussing a genre that revolves around Not Violence. But have you noticed that the images I've used here are from dating sims spun-off from a fighting game (Rivals of Aether), an arcade shmup (Legend of Valkyrie), a 4X strategy game (Endless Space) and a kleptomaniac simulator (Katamari Damacy)? These?? genres revolve around being really good at skills you can’t use to grab a date without us calling the cops on you for creepin'. Except maybe the 4X game; politicians are evil like that.

Juxtaposing tones is funny, and nothing juxtaposes high-octane action or dramatic warfare more than clumsy romance. Actually, one thing juxtaposes it more -- action gameplay versus romance gameplay. That forces you to put aside whatever reflex skills you used in the original IP to instead challenge your social skills. Please don’t feel sorry for yourself. I had to look up a guide to get Kragg’s ending in Lovers of Aether. We all have to start somewhere. We all do.

This year’s April Fools’ had several playable jokes, yet none of them made me laugh quite as hard as Rivals of Aether’s dating sim. Dragalia Lost treated players to a shmup, and it’s a fun minigame, but the punchline is simply “this non-combatant mascot character is dreaming she’s strong”. For Honor replaced enemy mooks with Rabbids and it’s? absolutely hilarious to watch proud warriors hack down armies of obnoxious cartoon animals, but that’s all there is to it.

I love these examples just as much as I do Lovers of Aether for different reasons, but I consider them all less funny. And that’s good, I would rather see more variety in April Fools’ celebrations! But if you’re concerned with getting a big laugh above everything else -- as people often are when April Fo??ols’ is involved -- a comedy-based romance sim is a much better vehicle for successive and varied jokes. It’s little wonder they’re chosen so often. We may one day reach the point where they become an oversaturated and predictable jape… but I think we’re still a long way from that point. Now if you excuse me, I have a date with… Elliana? Sure, let’s make it Elliana today.

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'We wouldn't be able to bring the quality we strive to deliver'

PQube Games has announced the cancellation of Song of Memories for Nintendo Switch. The announcement was made via an apologetic tweet from the developer earlier today.

Anime-infused visual novel Song of Memories was originally conceived for the PlayStation Vita, but was ?eventually moved to PS4 and Nintendo Switch platforms. Citing developmental issues, PQube openly states ??that they cannot get the game running to a respectable level of quality on the Nintendo console, eventually deciding to pull the plug.

The PS4 release is expected to go ahead as planned, and is penciled in for launch on February 1. The western localisation is mostly unchanged from the Japanese release, save for the rewording of "school" to "academy". Song of Memories a?ppears to be your typical "boy-meets-girl, then-more-girls, then-??there's-an-apocalyptic-virus-planning-to-wipe-out-humanity" tale of hi-jinx.

Song of Memories launches on PS4 February 1.

However, due to development issues, we regrettably have to announce the cancellation of #SongofMemories on Switch as we wouldn’t be able to bring you the game to the level of quality that we strive to deliver. We apologize to all our fans. #NintendoSwitch #Switch #visualnovel pic.twitter.com/lq4GMIMet6

— PQube Games (@PQubeGames) January 9, 2019

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PC players are getting a new content update

Dream Daddy, "an extremely specific visual novel," will soon find its way to PlayStation 4 with an expanded Dadrector's Cut. I apprecia?te that commitment to puns and the silly ?joy they bring us.

You've probably heard by now since the original PC release really made the rounds online last year, but Dream Daddy is a video game about dating hunky dads that knows exactly how seriously to take itself??. It's a neat little game?? that will feel even neater on a less-dating-sim-heavy platform like PS4.

If this is all new to you, watch the trailer for the game's breezy menu music.?? Trust me.

Game Grumps added a jogging mini-game, more sidequests, and previously cut content. Dream Daddy: Dadrector's Cut launches for PS4 on Octobe?r 30; Steam players will get a free up?date.

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Rub yourself against that special someone

Bossa Studios, the indie publishers behind kooky games such as I am Bread and Surgeon Simulator, have announced that the feline-friendly dating adventure, Purrfect Date, lands feet-first on iOS devices tomorrow. Thi?s is, fittingly enough, Valentine's Day.

Purrfect Date sees you take on multiple roles within a team of scientific researchers?. The team visit the remote Cat Island in order to investi??gate its strange population and uncover the mystery behind the leafy-green, idyllic tropical paradise. Oh, also, you'll date cats.

Players can meet and interact with the game's cast of talkative moggies, from the highly-strung Snooty Booty to 60's flower-child Trixie. The quest for truth, love and a quality scratching post will lead to one of 18 different endings. The game released late in 2017 on Steam, where it raised both eyeb??rows and smiles with its wry sense of humour, outlandis??h concepts and cheerful soundtrack.

So, if you fancy spending Valentine's Day with a feline friend, maybe give it a shot. I can't promise you that you'll end up with the Deputy Mayor from SWAT Kats, or that legwarmer-wearing gal from Heathcliff, but you could still meet a great guy/gal to share???? a radiator with.

Purrfect Date will be available to download on iOS tomorrow for aro??und $5/£5. It is available on PC right meow for around $10/£7.

The post Purrfect Date coming to iOS devices for Valentine’s Day appeared first on Destructoid.

Seeking a waifu for the end of the world

PQube Games is quickly establishing itself as one of my favorite publishers out there. Like Xseed, NIS, and Aksys, it isn't afraid to a show a little skin and bring over those Japanese titles the big publishers won't touch. In 2018 it's localizing Gal*Gun 2, Omega Labyrinth Z and today, it confirmed it's publishing a new dating sim called Song of Memories. 

Developed by Future Tech Lab Co, Song of Memories will have players roman??cing six girls in hopes of finding that special someone. Judging by the info available, this game hits all the anime tropes. Waifus? Check. J-Pop group? Double check. Girls looking extremely uncom?fortable when you leer at their fleshy bodies? Triple check. A virus threatening to wipe out humanity? Quadrup- wait, what?

That's right. Apparently, Song of Memories isn't just a dating sim but an end-o?f-the-world dating sim. With six girls to try and put it in and multiple endings to unlock, it'll be fun to see just how this all plays out.

Song of Memories sounds a bit ambitious ?for the genre. PQube is promising more than 40 hours of recorded original Japanese dialog, fully animated characters instead of the standard static portraits, and rhythm and role-playing elements too. No release date has been announced beyond 2018, but when it does release in the west you'll be able to pick it up on the PS4 and Switch.

Song of Memories [PQube Games]

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