I love my ax

I picked up Dog’s Life on recommendation from a friend. They told me, “This sounds like the sort of game you’d cover in your column.�I didn’t think much of it, then realized, “Wait, which column?�I have one that covers bad games, and one that covers obscure good games. I didn’t ask, because I pr??efer pretending to be omnipotent.

But then, I’m picking the game up at the pawnshop and the clerk tells me, �i>Dog’s Life is way more fun than it has any right to be.�What does that mean? He didn’t say anything about Crush Hour, which I was picking up at the same time. That would have tipped me off that he was just l??ying to enable my purchase. So was this a buried gem or a buried squirrel carcass? It’s actually a bit of both.

Let me show you Dog’s Life’s papers, because, wow. It was created by Frontier Developments and directed and designed by David Braben. David Braben, the guy who co-created Elite. You have no idea how much time I poured into Frontier: Elite II and Frontier: First Encounters as a teen. Not that the guy’s track record is squeaky clean, but you get a special kind of respect for inventing the first space trucking ga??me.

Weirdly, Dog’s Life shares similar philosophies as Elite. Firstly, it obviously started with the question, “I wonder if we can make a game based around blank.�Second, it’s crammed full of interesting tech. Okay, maybe they didn’t create a ??finite but massive universe to cruise around in, but they did get the dog to move without stiff animations.

Can you guess what the story here is in Dog’s Life? Yeah, it’s about evil dog catchers abducting the main mutt, Jake’s, true love, Daisy. I’m trying to think of a dog story that doesn’t involve that. Here we go: Homeward Bound. The Fox and the Hound. I’m pretty sure The Shaggy Dog had d??og catchers in it, but I really wish my mind had let that stay buried. I'm ?very upset right now.

Jake has to follow the trail of these dog catchers in order to save his lost love. Only not really. With you in control of Jake, you mostly meander about, sniffing up stinks and collecting bones. Sometimes you get bones for collecting stinks, and that’s pretty cool. I bet my dog wishes I’d give him treats for snif??fing the? same spot for, like, an hour.

These bone??s allow you to strengthen your powers of pissing. Also, digging. The number of bones you have dictates how you compare to other dogs, and gaining more of them not only gives you an advantage in literal pissing matches but also allows you to proceed through the game’s areas. How many bones are in a human body? What? I’m not implying anything, but now that you mention it, you’re almost always one m?urder away from completion. It’s just, you know, an observation.

You gain bones by completing various tasks in each environment. Typically, one bone is merely buried. One or two might just be lying around. But many of them require you to herd sheep or collect batte?ries. Others put you in competition with another dog, and defeating them allows you to control them through a power I didn’t know dogs have: possession. Often, there’s a goal that requires this other fo?ur-legged friend, but you can accomplish many of the stages�objectives if there’s a breed that catches your eye.

It’s really early-aughts in its design. It’s like a Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater game, but instead of doing some sick tricks to unleash chaos, you’re helping somebody find their ax by tracking their scent. Then they stand there, overjoyed that their ax has returned to them, repeating the same voice lines over and over. The most creative it gets is with its smell-o-vision, which puts you in the dog’s?? perspe?ctive and allows you visibly see color-coded scents on the ground. Amusingly, it desaturates the colors of the environment, as well, to sort of mimic a dog’s color-blindness.

The back of the box touts up to 40 hours of gameplay, which is hilarious to me. It reminds me of when Ogre Battle 64 put the estimate of 50 hours on the back of the box, but it took me around 90 to complete it. Dog’s Life is the other way around. It's much shorter than it brags about. I’m pretty sure I clocked in at eight hours, and I spent a lot of time gathering bones to upgrade my bone power. What are the remaining 32 hours supposed to consist of, box? Are you hoping that I both really suck and am really patient? A poor as?sumption on both fronts.

What’s there is a pretty shallow and uninventive collect-a-thon. Over-boning and easily dominating the other dogs is really not difficult. Some levels feel like they aren’t even trying, just leaving bones around for you to add to your collection. There’s this?? feeling like it needed a longer polishing phase ??to balance the game better.

Dog’s Life is a pretty long way from the worst kusoge I’ve experienced. I’m going to disagree with pawnshop guy and say that it is exactly as fun as it deserves to be, and that’s about as much fun as you’d find in a clearance bin. You know, not entirely a waste of time, but maybe an unf?ulfilling use of a weekend. It also doesn’t feel like a soulless product, though perhaps one that was completed out of obligation rather than because the team was passionat??e about bringing it to the world.

I’d be amiss if I didn’t mention that Dog’s Life holds a record for most voice-overs recorded by one person. App?arently, Kerry Shale?? put the words in the mouths of 32 characters. I mean, this results in a lot of them having goofy, cliched voices, but still, pretty impressive.

For previous Weekly Kusoge, check this link!

The post Dog’s Life gives you the opportunity to participate in a literal pissing match appeared first on Destructoid.

Phallic Phamily Phun

I'm the kind of person whose ears instantly perk up at the sound of a interesting name. After all, your name is one of the first things someone learns about you, so why wouldn't you want the best one? With that in mind, when the deafening thud of something called Sausage Sports Club flopped down across my desk, I knew I had to check it out -- ??regardless of?? what it actually was.

As it turns out, the title is pretty indicative of what the game actually is. While it may come up a bit limp at times and the action doesn't always rise to the occasion, Sausage Sports Club is an ende??aring little title that does just enough right to satisfy this very demanding reviewer.

Sausage Sports Club (PC, Switch [reviewed])
Developer: Luckshot Games
Publisher: Luckshot Games
Released: July 19, 2018
MSRP: $14.99

Sausage Sports Club is a sports party game where you control adorably floppy animals as they shuffle their cute little legs around the screen, limply swinging at things and standing erect again as they go. You compete against up to seven other players (human or AI) across five game modes, with the objective?? of each to helicopter-neck your way to victory.

The controls are simple enough -- A and B jump (tap twice to slam down to the ground), X? and Y dash, and the right stick slings your head about, flopping it to and fro and all around. ZR flops your head straight down in a flaccid heap and ZL makes you stand tall and stiff, but neither seem to have ?a specific purpose other than to look funny. While jerking your head around in a circular fashion is fun, the dash is the move you'll be using most, as most game types more or less require it to succeed.

The game modes themselves are very straightforward. You have Soccer... which is soccer; Coinz (yes, with a z), where you have to hit your opponents to get them to drop their coins and collect them to end with a higher tally; Capture the Flag, which again, is exactly what it sounds like; Sumo, where you have to bash your enemies either off the map or into spikes, and Paint, which is a Splatoon-esque mode where running will paint the map your color, while a giant ball, producing the co?lor of the player who last touched it, rolls around the floor. While five types doesn't sound like a lot, I'm told that it's average and?? it's what you do with them that counts.

Unfortunately, not all game modes will be able to get it up when the gameplay starts to get hot and heavy. Soccer does a good job of lasting when it counts, especially as more balls are squeezed in?? as more players enter the arena. Coinz can be fun with lots of players, as the coins themselves start to litter the map and it becomes a mad dash to grabs coins as you're being tossed around. The other ga?me modes can be fun in small bursts, for sure, but really start to falter off after a few rounds. Sumo and Paint are especially disappointing, as the former suffers from far too many accidental deaths (the point is to kill others, not to lose all your lives by walking into spikes every three seconds) and the latter just feels broken as it never really seemed to follow its own rules. All of the game modes are fun and the gameplay is far from boring, but naturally some just hold up better than others.

The fact that there are only four stages compounds the issue of some of the minigames just not being able to go the distance. Some stages are far better suited to serve specific game types, and can be downright terrible for others. The aquarium stage is great for Sumo, but awful for everything else, whereas the city stage is fantastic for Coinz, but almost unplayable for Soccer. There's a weird balance to the game where, in the right position and approached from the right angle, it'll feel amazing once you? get into the action - but dropping in without considering what goes where best will ensure that nobody walks away feeling good about the experience.

Luckily, the game's Adventure Mode goes a long way to insert some much-needed charm into a game that could otherwise run the risk of going through the motions. In this mode, you'll still play the same minigames across the same maps, but in between matches you'll be tasked with helping the denizens of Sausage Sports Island with tasks, such as picking outfits, writing poems, or settling disputes. Each scenario ends with a match in one of the random minigames, but the writing is silly and definitely keeps you wanting more in between sessions. The whole mode plays out as a three-day "season" of sorts, where in between each day of action a com??mentator (a super-cute corgi, no less) will recap the action, with there even being a champ?ion at the end. It's a great little mode, and while it's a bit lacking in length it's definitely worth the ride.

While you're not slamming your sausage animals around the screen, there are unlocks tied to coins and experience points (of sorts). As you play, you'll earn points toward a new loot crate-style reward, which is either new animals friends to use or new skins. Coins are also picked up in Adventure Mode from interacting with objects and completing tasks, and go toward unlocking new hats for your characters to wear throughout your game. I know "loot crate" is a bit of a loade??d term these days, but really it's just a random unlock you get from playing the game. There's no monetization of it, and it's just a way to get stuff to encourage you to keep playing with it until it's spent.

I did encounter some performance issues during my time with Sausage. For starters, it seems that changing the game type at the end of a match without backing out to the menu first will render the next game type almost unplayable. So, if you end a match of Sumo? and fire up Soccer without quitting out of the map, the spikes from Sumo will remain on the map, breaking that game type. If you switched to Paint, the paint won''t even cover the floor, so you literally can't win or lose the game without quitting. This also once led to a match where the framerate dropped to about 1 FPS for no reason, forcing me to reset my Switch. Also, there is no online play at all -- the game is strictly couch co-op. I didn't suffer any lag with up to eight AI players, but can eight controllers even connect to a Switch? I've never tried to take on that many units at once.

Sausage Sports Club isn't a particularly girthy game, and the motion of its ocean is sometimes a bit choppy, but ultimately this is a unique and charming party game that'll leave your group of?? friends sloppily coming back for seconds?.

Just try to give it a little time between rounds -- it wo??n't last all night.

_{[This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]}

The post Review: Sausage Sports Club appeared first on Destructoid.

Now tell me, which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?

Who's a good dog?? Who's a good dog? You're a good dog. Yes you are, yes you are. You are such a good dog! Yes you are. You're just the goodest good dog that ever dogged. Yes you are! Yes you are! You may not be a good game but you're certainly a good doggy!

Puzzle Puppers (Switch [reviewed], PC, Mac, Android, iOS)
Developer: Cardboard Keep
Publisher: Cardboard Keep
Release Date: January 20, 2017 (Steam), February 20, 2018 (Switch)
MSRP: $4.99 (Free-to-play on mobile)

Puzzle Puppers certainly has an agreeable exterior. Dogs are great. Everybody loves them and they're real??ly the only reason I keep my Twitter account going. When I see these pups stretch their bodies, tails wagging, I get a smile. It's cute, it's charming, it's like being able to play with all those dog gifs I keep downloading for some reason.

But all of that cuteness is a facade for what turns out to be an average puzzle game. Puzzle Puppers is divided up into 80 puzzles, all built around the common goal of getting these dogs to their food bowls along different sized grids. Using standard controls, or the less than reliable touch controls, I stretch the dogs out as need??ed, making sure I devour every ham steak on the board to unlock?? every bonus level.

I grow tired of it long before I reach the final puzzle. The entire project is lacking in variety. There are just two primary obstacles: holes and rivers. When combined with multiple dogs to contort to their respective bowls, it should make for challenging ??brainteasers, and it does.

Sometimes.

Occasionally.

Rarely.

Okay, lik??e twice. During my approximately two-hour playthrough of the same scenery and the same music, just two puzzles tripped me up. A quick break with another game was all I needed to go back and figure out the solutions and wrap everything up.

With more ideas, more obstacles, more varied goals, or just the ability to pet the dogs without screwing up one of my solutions-in-progress, I could easily see this as best in show. Instead, Puzzle Puppers wouldn't even place.

_{[This review is based on a retail build of the game provided by the publisher.]}

The post Review: Puzzle Puppers appeared first on Destructoid.

This needs to be a recurring thing

Dogs are the greatest. Big, small, fluffy, floppy -- it doesn't matter. They fill my heart with pure joy, and there's a cordoned-off section of ?my mind devoted to thinking about them and how good they are.

Every once in a while, dogs and games intersect. Whenever that happens, it's bound to be a good day. Blizzard is hosting a "Puppy Rumble" for Overwatch this afternoon to coincide with the?? game's Year of the Dog Lunar New Year event??. (As if we needed justification to watch dogs on-stream.)

In Overwatch, every dog has its day.

2.19.18 pic.twitter.com/5oWvxuFB7r

— Overwatch (@PlayOverwatch) February 17, 2018

The stream is set for 3:00pm Pacific on Twitch.tv/PlayOverwatch and the pups will be adoptable.

The post Blizzard is streaming a P??uppy Rumble today for Overwatch appeared first on Destructoid.

Whoosa good boy?!

Methodically dismantling a cult seems like a tall task to undertake alone. Far Cry 5 won't make you fly solo, though. There are theoretically seven different aides that will assist you in ?murdering your way thr?ough all of Eden's Gate.

It's theoretical because, well, you're going to pick the dog because he's a very good puppy. The stealthy hunter lady is probably great at picking off enemies with her bow. The fly ?boy raining hellfire from his plane is probably an incredibly useful tactic for getting out of jams. Both of these options are ?inferior because neither of these options are dogs.

Anyway, Ubisoft has compiled a joint profile of these seven companions for you to?? peruse ahead of the game's March 27 release. But you might as well stop lying to yourself like your selection is up in the air. You're taking the only one with four le??gs and fur.

The post Far Cry 5 has seven helper companions, but you’re gonna pick the puppers appeared first on Destructoid.

I've seen dogs do crazier shit for food

I've written about games featuring cats before. Cats are alright, I suppose. A bit finicky. Morose. Horrible, sometimes. Dogs, though? Dogs are where ??it's at. They're loyal, they drool on your head when you're sleeping and lie on top of you even though they're 50 lbs. and it's really not comfortable. But oh well, they're dogs so nobody cares. They're truly the best.

So here's good news for fellow dog lovers and Switch owners: Puzzle Puppers is coming to the Switch!

Puzzle Puppers is an adorable puzzle game featuring very hungry and even more stretchy dogs. You're tasked with getting the front end of your pup to a food bowl, while traversing rivers, chasms and holes in the ground along the way. Players can explore over 80 levels, finding secret hams and new friends, two of my very favorite act??ivities, as they solve increasingly challenging puzzles.

In this humble taco's opinion, there really needs to be more games featuring dogs. Not just a sidekick dog, or one that's essentially tearbait, or dogs that are enemies you have to shoot, but fun-loving puppies that everyone can feed and cuddle and love. I'm thinking something along the lines of the critically-acclaimed, fan-favorite title Sneak King, except instead of sneaking around force-feeding people Burger King's shitty food, you're sneaking around petting people's dogs while they're not looking. A regular old Metal Gear Schnauzer!

Puzzle Puppers ?releases on the Switch eShop on February 20, 2018, and?? will retail for $5.

The post Feed th??ose hungry, stretchy dogs with Puzzle Puppers, hitting Switch this February appeared first on Destructoid.

At least there are dogs

Overland's brand of post-apocalyptic North America is especially bleak. There are no simple decisions or easy escapes under the game's muted sky. You can't count on things going smoothly. Something will go wrong. Survival is a matter of reacting and overcoming the challenges that ari??se.

That type of hopelessness might be a turnoff to some, but I can't help but smile after watching Overland's latest trailer. It's a series of short vignettes that hammer home the violence and hard-hi??tting situations that make up the bulk of the game's tactical encounters. 

The diorama-like locations and procedurally generated roadmaps seen in Overland are as striking as they are haunting. Something tells me that Finji's road trip is going to be one ?hell of a memorable journey. We'll just have to wait until next year to ??find out.

The post Overland is a tactical road trip game?? full of harrowing ??choices appeared first on Destructoid.

Parties and puppies

Pet the Pup at the Party is an excellent little game about, well, petting dogs a?nd avoiding awkward social interactions. It's one the sillie??st and most relatable games I've played all year. 

Here is a breakdown of what you do in Pet the Pup at the Party:

• Wander through an apartment
• Clumsily navigate around people
• Open doors in hopes of finding a four-legged friend
• Pet dogs

If you're the kind of person who can't fathom why someone would go to a social gathering and immediately seek canine companionship instead of human interaction, there's a good chance that Pet the Pup at the Party isn't for you. That's okay. For the rest of us, it's a fun (and super replayable) Real Life Social An?xiet?y simulator, except instead of stress and fumbled "hellos," there are good vibes and better dogs.

According to developer Wi?ll Herring, there are 52 dogs to find and pet. I managed to track down ten doggos before running out of time, but you bet your hind quarters I'll find -- and pet -- every single one of them before long. It probably won't be easy, either. Once you start the game, a timer looms overhead, ticking away the seconds until you leave the party. Petting a pup adds thirty seconds to the clock, which means that you'll want to dash aro??und and find as many dogs as possible.

It's not that simple though. The apartment is a labyrinth of corridors and pizza-chomping partygoers. It's like House of Leaves, except way better because there was only one dog in House of Leaves. Luckily, each dog lets out an "Arf Arf," that indicates which direction it's located. I've taken to calling it doggolocation. Once you find a dog, they're immortalized in "The Good Dog Gallery," which sounds like the best damn place in the universe. You can click on their profile and get more informatio??n, too. My current favorite is Gilbert, the Boston Terrier whose bio reads "Sleepy boy? Oh, you better da??ng well believe it." Hell yeah.

You can try your hand at petting pups on the developer's Itch.io page. Now buzz off, I? have people to ignore and digital dogs to find.

The post A good game about petting Good Dogs appeared first on Destructoid.

No recounts

433 of you, the jbsgam?e.community, slaved over a hot keyboard in order to vote in our Best of E3 poll. And your winner is...

Super Mario Odyssey!

And really, it wasn't even close. In a total landslide victory, Odyssey took 206 of the 433 votes, totaling nearly 48% of respondents. For you numbers nerds out there, that's 172 votes more than the second-place finisher. I guess you guys are really stoked about a new Mario game!

What isn't a huge surprise is that Metroid: Samus Returns, the remake of the Game Boy classic Metroid II: Return of Samus, came in second. For what seems like the ma??jority of my adult life (I'm 30, y'all) fans have been clamoring for Nintendo to do something with the oft-forgotten IP, so it makes ?total sense that folks would be excited for any news from the series. 

What is a bit shocking to me is the game that tied for second place: Dragon Ball FighterZ (I will not rest until we officially refer to this as DBFz). There were quite a few heavy-hitters at this year's E3, but who'd have thunk that a stylistic mashup between the beloved anime franchise and Arc System Works' energetic approach to the fighting genre would hold its own against the likes of Metroid? I must admit that while I'm neither a fan of Dragon Ball nor of fighting games in general, DBFz really cau??ght my eye with its cr??isp visuals and unique presentation. 

As a minor note, everything I put on the initial list got at least one vote, save poor, poor Yoshi Switch. You guys couldn't throw him a bone? Also I'm a jerk and forgot Metroid: Sames Returns on the ini??tial list, so I added it in about an hour after the original post went live. It got three write-in votes in that time frame, so I added those to the overall numbers for revie??w above.

The full poll results ??are listed below. Did the community get it right? Did somebody get criminally overlooked? Will my dad ever come home from buying cigarettes? Discuss in the comments below!

206 - Super Mario Odyssey

34 - Dragon Ball FighterZ

34 - Metoid: Samus Returns

22 - Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus

20 - Spider-Man

16 - Monster Hunter World

15 - Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle

6 - God of War

6 - Sea of Thieves

6 - Splatoon 2

5 - Destiny 2

5 - Middle-earth: Shadow of War

4 - Assassin's Creed: Origins

4 - Days Gone

4 - Shadow of the Colossus

3 - The Evil Within 2

3 - Xenoblade Chronicles 2

2 - A Way Out

2 - Anthem

2 - Beyond Good and Evil 2

2 - Blade Strangers

2 - Everybody's Golf

2 - Forza 7

2 - Hunt: Showdown

2 - Life is Strange: Before the Storm

2 - Metroid Prime 4

2 - Ruiner

2 - Yakuza: Kiwami

1 - Crackdown 3

1 - Detroit: Become Human

1 - Devolver Digital (this is a studio...)

1 - Dishonored: Death of the Outsider

1 - Far Cry 5

1 - Hidden Agenda

1 - Killing Floor 2

1 - Kirby Switch

1 - Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite

1 - Metro: Exodus

1 - Moss

1 - Skull & Bones

1 - Sonic Mania

1 - South Park: The Fractured but Whole

1 - The Darwin Project

1 - The Last Night

1 - You Think This is a Game, Wes?!?

1 - Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of Dana

0 - Yoshi Switch (lol)

The post Your winner for Destructoid’s E3 Community Choice Award is… appeared first on Destructoid.

Let's a-go!

『おはよ！今週も張り切ってステージクリアしましょ👍🏻モタモタしてたらクリボー🌰投げるわよ！←！？ pic.twitter.com/ybZtekiMM9

— C_Suzuki (@C_S0325) June 18, 2017

Good dogs. Happy Friday, comrades.

The post Good dogs appeared first on Destructoid.

Is it still April Fool's?

I actually can't tell if this is ?a real thing, but with the last minutes of Dogstructoid bearing down on us (long may it live), I'll take my chances.

Quill Studios is developing a dog-themed visual novel called A Summer with the Shiba Inu. That's really all yo??u need to know?? to decide if you're interested or not. 

You can check out a trailer for it below, or get your paws on a 15-minute demo over here.

The post A Summer with the Shiba? Inu is a visual novel about dogs, apparently appeared first on Destructoid.

Aside from the obvious, I mean

Like many of you, I've been spending every free moment exploring Hyrule in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. And while I've certainly enjoyed the game, I couldn't help bu??t notice there was a huge oversight that could have made it a lot better.

Zelda: BotW has several dogs at the various ranches and stables Link can visit, and you can feed them any spare meat you have to befriend them. Other websites have commented on how much better the title would be if you could pet these dogs, but that's a discussion for another day. I'm far more concerned that there simply aren't enough of ??these dogs in the first place. 

Hyrule is vast, but it appears to be entirely cut off from the rest of the world?. There's no way to leave, and as far as I can tell, we never see anyone who wasn't born there. Throughout Hyrule, there are countless foxes and wolves, but only maybe fifty dogs, the domesticated Hylian Retreiver comprising the bulk of these. We only ever see full-grown dogs, never puppies, and it's extremely rare that we see more than one of these mutts at a given location. I'm ??worried that there may not be a sufficient breeding stock to sustain a viable population.

It's unclear whether the Hylian Retriever might be able to interbreed ??with the foxes or wolves that are seemingly everywhere, but it's the only solution that makes any sense. It's far too dangerous for the general population to travel between stables for doggy dates, and it doesn't seem as though anyone else in the land has access to fast travel. 

By use of a special Amiibo, Link can call in a wolf-human hybrid as an ally. But even if this mo??nstrosity is added to the breeding population, I'm afraid that there simply may not be enough viable genetic material to maintain a stable population of pups. 

All is not lost, however. Breath of the Wild will be the first mainline Zelda title to include downloadabl??e content. Here's hoping that whatever Nintendo's working on, it will include a whole bunch more d??ogs.

The post There aren’t enough dogs in Zelda: Breath of the Wild appeared first on Destructoid.

And five that don't

The Combat Rigs system is the way that Call of Duty 2016 introduces its most substantial multiplayer shake-up. Rather than a pool of players who are defined by their weapons loadout, these players are essentially separated into classes -- a divide that looks to be more nuanced than Call of Duty 2015's "Specialist" system.

And, one of those classes runs like an idiot puppy who hasn't quite yet learned how to move its legs in perfect rhythm. All its limbs flailing about awkwardly as the death machine steamrolls toward an opponent. The video makes it look like an skilled killer (at the 1:19 mark), but look at this screencap. Its leg is above its head and that seems anything but efficient. Awkward and efficient a??re usually mutually exclusive for a reason.

The rest of this video details the other five non-lumbering classes in Call of Duty 2016's multiplayer. The beta goes live this weekend for PS4 players, and three of the classes are available during that. You could either get to know those or watch some videos of humans running on all fours. 

The post One of the new Call of Duty classes?? runs like a dumb dog appeared first on Destructoid.

Shiba x San Francisco

I had a great?? Shiba Inu fri??end for about two years.

Also, guess who I'm hanging with all weekend? pic.twitter.com/o9qApWIbEF

— steven hansen (@poverotti) October 24, 2014

He was a troubled dog. Skin allergies. Didn't get along with other dogs. He even bit my lawyer once! But we'd been fast fr??iends; he loved me and I loved him. Unfortunately he moved to Arizona and I don't have the kind of money required to pick up an obscure, purebred pup (or the luck to have a rare adoption chance pop up), so Shiba ownership is not something I can count on anytime soon.

Especially with my new? ??friend of a couple weeks needing quite a bit of attention herself. Support your local animal shelters!

pobrecita tiene tanto mocos pic.twitter.com/t2tK1cNFAX

— steven hansen (@poverotti) September 21, 2016

Shibas, beyond being a beloved internet meme dog, need a lot of work. They're stubborn, smart, and not recommended for first-time dog owners. And that's what Year of the Dog, "a slice-of-life game about living with a Shiba?? Inu in San Francisco," is about.

"You are pla??ced in the role of a reluctant rookie dog owner, tasked with taking care of a Shiba while his real owne??r (your partner) is abroad for a year. Each chapter of the game recounts a snapshot from a month of that year, as your bond with the dog grows as you learn how and what it means to care for another living being."

Of course, you are free to abdicate responsibility and just enjoy adorable gifs?? instead.

the dogs of summer are here #screenshotsaturday pic.twitter.com/qAWwDuD8fv

— Keane Ng (@keanerie) June 25, 2016

learning new tricks for #screenshotsaturday pic.twitter.com/iKc737j5Om

— Keane Ng (@keanerie) June 4, 2016

i added a button to the game that lets you get a closeup of the dog any time you want #screenshotsaturday pic.twitter.com/tDheAjEqZE

— Keane Ng (@keanerie) April 30, 2016

every dog owner's worst nightmare pic.twitter.com/UMhXmB0rkJ

— Keane Ng (@keanerie) April 8, 2016

The post Hell yes, here’s a game about owning a Shiba Inu appeared first on Destructoid.

Good dog is better at Street Fighter than you

This is Cohen,?? a 7-year-old Australian shepherd. She is a good dog. She can do a hadoken. Cohen is a good dog!

The post This good dog can hadoken!!! appeared first on Destructoid.

Roverwatch part two

🚨 ROVERTIME 🚨

Prints: //t.co/84ic9QLpjs pic.twitter.com/FVmOZAIJRZ

— Lily Nishita (@lazerlily) September 12, 2016

If there was one dog design I felt was missing from Lily Nishita's first batch of adorable Overwatch pooches, it was Junkrat. He's just got one of those faces. You know, one of those faces that makes you wonder what they'd look like personified as a dog.?? We've all been there before.

Besides Junkrat as a dingo,?? there's Roadhog as a stout pit bull, Pharah as a Pharaoh Hound, and Mercy as a Weimaraner. As before, I really like the way these breed picks play into the characters' lore.

Nishita is also selling prints of the ill?ustrations. They're? $12 a piece, or they can be purchased in sets.

Lily Nishita [Twitter]

The post The heroes of Overwatch are even better as dogs appeared first on Destructoid.

Day-maker

Oh my gosh, YES! I love everything about this.

Graphic designer and illustrator Lily Nishita (formerly of Naughty Dog) has imagined the Overwatch cr??ew as pups, and her imagination is brilliant.? The breed selection totally fits with the character lore!

Calling all agents of Roverwatch! #Overwatch pic.twitter.com/tINps0GBZ5

— Lily Nishita (@lazerlily) August 24, 2016

Mei as a Chow Chow. I can't stop smiling.

Lily Nishita [Twitter]

The post These Overwatch illustrations are so doggone good?! appeared first on Destructoid.

BREAKING NEWS: A dog exists somewhere!

Sometimes it’s easy to forget what’s important in life. This week we’ve had eighty billion VR headsets announced, and graphics cards that could probably punch a hole in the space-time continuum,? and yeah, that's exciting and all... but does ?it actually matter? Probably not.

There is only one this in this world that really matters, and that’s dogs. Bethesda has announced that River, the German shepherd that modeled and voiced Fallout 4’s Dogmeat, won the award for Top Videogame Dog at TheCW’s World Dog Awa??r?ds:

The awards were back in January, so Bethesda is a bit late, but that’s not important. Just look at how happy that pooch is to have gotten a trophy! You won&??rsquo;t see that from a cold, lifeless VR headset.

If you’re curious as to who won Dog of the Year, meet Gabe, a ?therapy dog who supports wounded veteran Justin Lansford:

Dogs are great.

The post Dogmeat wins big at the World Dog Awards appeared first on Destructoid.

Woof

Cave Story is so revered among indie game enthusiasts, it's little surprise it would be cited as an influence for others making a game. One Dog Story lists it up there with others like Battletoads and Shovel Knight.

One Dog Story is about a lab dog -- that is, a dog that has been experimented on, not a Labrador -- exploring its way?? around a new environment trying to discover who it is. Along the way it picks up a gun that deals a little bit of death along with a lot of particle effects.

Developer BigWay games is seeking a modest $30,000 on Kickstarter for the project, and has projected a release date later this year. One Dog Story has already been in dev??elopment for almost a year, so hopefully it just needs ?a final push to be completed.

The post Serious Cave Story vibes come off One Dog Story appeared first on Destructoid.

Released today on PS4

Never heard of Dogchild? Me neither, till today. Apparently it was announced in December of 2014 and won "best game of the year" from the? PlayStation Awards for titles developed in Spain. Before you rush to the PlayStation Store ready to drop $14.99 on the best Spain has to offer, you might want to check out some?? of the gameplay.

As you can see, there is not only parkour, but also first person dog sections where you have to dig up meatballs, for some reason. From what I can gather, you're investigating the disappearances of local dogs w??hile receiving texts from someone who can seemingly tell what you're doing. 

Just from these few minutes and the game's description, I get the feeling that whoever localized this didn't do a very good job. Some of it seems a bit off or wordy. But how c??an you say no to a game where you get a text that says "These meatballs are all over the place. You must find the person responsible for this!" and subtitles "woof" whenever a dog barks?

The post Parkour as a human and ??sniff out meatballs as?? a dog in Dogchild appeared first on Destructoid.

Control your tears watching the video

The first few moments of the Kickstarter trailer for Home Free bring up sad memories of the Futurama episode "Jurassic Bark," which I apparently cannot even read the Wikipedia entry for wit???hout getting misty-eyed. Dogs, man. Dogs are the best people.

Thankfully, Home Free isn't all heartwrenching. Eventually, the pit bull in the video realizes it needs to learn to fend for itself, striking out into the unknown city full of other stray dogs, scavenged food, and dangerous traffic. Maybe the ??doggy even finds a new home.

Home Free's city is procedurally generated, so it should really give the feeling of being lost, even on repeat play? throughs.

This is one of those Kickstarter projects that makes me wish I were independently wealthy. Sure, I want to play this game when it releases, but more than that I'd love to see my best furball friend Halley in it as a playable pup. Alas, that'd cost me almost?? a ??thousand bucks.

The crowdfunding campaign for Home Free launched today and is currently over 25 percent of the way to its $50,000 base funding goal. C?ertain Destructoid readers might be happy to see the stretch goal if that total is doubled; the "Tiny Legs Dog Pack" adds corgis to the ?city.

The post Control an abandon??ed dog in the city in action-RPG?? Home Free appeared first on Destructoid.

I have a feeling you don't lovingly play with them

When Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare's Havoc add-on releases next week, players will ??get waves of zombies they don't want to deal with. I'm not referencing the hordes of jetpacking undead, or even the ones that seemingly have no problem trucking right along while high voltage floods through their corpse.

I'm talking about zombie puppies.

What? You didn't think only humanity would be affected by this nuclear bomb gone wrong, did you? A??nd??, don't even try removing agency and placing the blame on Bill Paxton, John Malkovich, Rose McGowan, or Jon Bernthal. This puppy blood's on your hands, pal.

The post Call of Duty DLC ups the ante with zombie puppies appeared first on Destructoid.

Havok? More like have-dick (and balls!)

Ashen Rift is a nice-looking, post apocalypse shooter, etc. There was a Kickstarter, now there is a new one. It'???ll come to PC and PSN eventually. Now that the housekeeping is out of the way...

DOG BALLS PHYSICS!!!

//t.co/aphjT2GO64

— Steven, but a santa (@dtoidsteven) December 3, 2014

My enthusiasm was slightly undercut by my inability to make this new ".gifv" file format show up on this website, jbsgame.com.go-vip.net. This is why I tweeted it and embedded the tweet. This lovely video/moving image format hybrid comes from Barry Collins' (Ashen Rift's developer) recent Imgur gallery, which?? has more cool .gifv (pronounced "giff-vee") and the like.

Anyways, look at those puppies bounce! This is my jam. My old friend had some giant mastiff nam??ed T-bone w?hose balls could've weighed down a prisoner on a chain gang  Good dog.

I hope beardy-mc-main-??character is hangin' some bumpin' scro' underneath hi??s pants, too. Can we get some dick bulge physics coupled with all those draping cloth effects tech demos have been ballyhooing? What's the point of lively, draping cloth if I can't see some dick outline?  

The post Oh hell yeah! A?shen Rift has ??dog testicle (balls!) physics appeared first on Destructoid.

Here's hoping the second time's the charm

While covering the PC news desk at Destructoid I've been exposed to a lot of wonderful Kickstarter projects but it's rare that I come across one with as much visual polish as Pyroclastic Games' Ashen Rift: A man and his dog. As a fan of both first-person shooters and post-apocalyptic setti??ngs, this game looks highly promising.

Interestingly enough, this isn't the only time we've covered the project. Back in March, Ashen Rift went up for its first attempt at crowdfunding on Kickstarter and fell short of its original goal of 45,000CAD. Less than one year later, the studio has regrouped for another run at securing funding. I sincerely hope they can pull it off this time around because Ashen Rift?? is a game I would like to be playing yesterday.

Ashen Rift [Kickstarter]

The post Ashen Rift returns to K??ickstarter looking better than ever appeared first on Destructoid.

Paws-itively adorable

Of the many digital venues I'd expect to see a virtual pet simulator, the PlayStation Vita was certainly not one. PlayStation Vita Pets is an interesting diversion, not only because of the bizarre?? system it released on, but the fact that is breaks all the "pet simulator rules" I've become accustomed to. Forget Nintendogs -- these puppies don't need a leash and they surely aren't relegated to frou-frou accessories. They don't need you to make sure they go on walks, either, because they've got their own thing going on. Did I mention they talk?

Where most games are content to offer a selection of pooches for you to groom, walk, and train as you see fit, British studio Spiral House apparently sought to revolutionize the genre, and it's clear from the very beginning that this isn't your average Dogz or Catz clone. It's easy to dismiss as an uninspired piece of shovelware, but those who give it a look will undoubtedly end up pleasantly surprised by its refusal to adhere to traditional pet-raising convention -- even if it does have some accidents here and there.

PlayStation Vita Pets (PlayStation Vita)
Developer: Spiral House
Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment Europe
Release Date: June 3, 2014
MSRP: $19.99

PlayStation Vita Pets serves up an adorable amalgam of puppy-raising fun and role-playing. You'll pair up with your canine to explore an ancient island supposedly rife with secre?ts aplent??y. It's not exactly a gripping narrative that you'll be playing through, but it does give you a reason to play beyond "just because," and uncovering the island secret is truly fun.

Things aren't completely different, though. You'll still choose a hound that fits your personality to begin with, only this time around the dogs plead to you with endearing chatter and reasons as to why you should adventure with them. It's positively "aww"-inducing from the get-go, even though it can be jarring to hear speech coming from the pups at first. I can imagin?e players going into the game completely blind will have a rough time ad??justing to this concept, but will come to appreciate it more than the errant ark or whine when it's time to explore the island. And if you find that they're too talky, you have the option to turn off the speech for a more traditional experience. 

The pets are upbeat and positive (some might say too positive) no matter what befalls them, and you can choose from a Husky, Dalmatian, Labrador, or a Border Collie. No corgis, though. Sorry, Dale. While managing your new best frien??d's health and happiness, you'll also be charged with building up their stats by way of simple mini-games meant to make use of the Vita's full range of capabilities.

Pick up the tug toy for a quick wrestling match by aping the motions displayed on-screen, toss a ball back and forth, bathe your pup, and complete other activities . This will in turn aid you when it comes to exploring the island. The higher the stats, the more you'll be able to access, so the generic "pet-rai??sing" elements the game aims to transcend?? are actually integral to making progress.

Unfor??tunately, these mundane tasks aren't always engaging, and while you can use voice commands to interact with your pet, they don't always work the way they're intended. You can give your new best friend a name, but if you can't get them to respond or work with the voice commands you issue, they're just s?uperfluous and frustrating.

When you first start out, it appears as though the mini-games are optional, but when it's quickly revealed that certain areas won't let you through without havi?ng reached a specific level, they suddenly aren't so entertaining anymore, at least for the long haul. The RPG-like grinding and backtracking are immersion-breaking, and will understandably frustrate players who just want to get on with the story.

Luckily, Castlewood is rife with areas to explore with gorgeous greenery, castles, and vast expanses that you and you?r pet can trot around in at your leisure. It's much more stimulating than, say, a living room or generic home interior, engendering more of that adventurous spirit the game seeks to promote. So even when things begin to feel a bit repetitive, there's still plenty to discover and an endgame goal that's satisfying to work toward. You just need to be willing to work for it.

With plenty of accessories to outfit your pet, an island brimming with secrets, and all the niceties of a "regular" pet sim, this adorable adventure has a leg up on the competition, but does falter a bit in its execution. If you're a casual pet lover or know someone who is, you'd be doing them a favor by handing them something that's a lot meatier than what's currently out there on the market. It's not perfect by any means, but with some tweaks in future installments or downloadable content, PlayStation Vita Pets could certainly be barking up the right tree.

The post Review: PlayStation Vita Pets appeared first on Destructoid.

This is an extra weird one

Here on Farts 'N' Crafts, we tackle a lot of hard-hitting issues. And by hard-hitting issues, I specifically mean "bodily fluids," which is almost ironic considering the show's title. We've done dog feces, we've gone hedgehog vomit. This week, we have dog urine, and copious amounts of cat blood. Specif??ically, Garfield The Cat blood. I like c??ats, but Garfield is horrible. Please just watch the video so I can stop typing.

The post Farts ‘N’ Crafts: Watch Dogs Vs. Mortal Kombat Vs. Garfield appeared first on Destructoid.

Puppy naps for everyone.

Sure, tons of people often bash Microsoft's offerings when it comes to their Games for Gold promotion. But, ladies and gentlemen, it seems they have stepped their game up! Because, for FREE, right now, you can download Sleeping Dogs onto you Xbox 360 home entertainment console!

"But PSN already did that game, Microsoft is too late!" you may say, and while that may be true, it does show that Games for Gold is becoming something better. And as fans of videogames, NOT consoles, can we not agree that this is a good thing? So please, come join Bill Zoeker, the kung fu movie aficionado, and me, the guy who plays "Wei" too many games?, as we jump into one of my? personal favorites from 2012.

What did yo??u think of Sleepy Puppies? Also, Give me your best "Wei" pun below in the com??ments. I need puns. Puns are the best jokes.

P.S. Spencer is still being a punk and staying at home with? his family. He should be back next week.

''

The post Video Game Clubhouse: A good ‘Games for Gold’ game!? appeared first on Destructoid.

Patch provides Nvidia's PhysX and Fur

Just what you've been waiting for PC subjects, realistic fur technology is now available in Call of Duty Ghosts. 

A recent patch has added -- not only dynamically-lighted,? soft and oh-so pettable fur to Riley, NPC wolves, ??and the attack dogs found in multiplayer -- but also a bevy of other PC improvements to performance and stability. PlayStation 3 and 4 users have also received fixes. 

For a full list to the update click here. 

COD dog gets next-gen fur on PC [Eurogamer]

The post ??Next-gen dog fur comes to Riley in Call of Duty: Ghosts appeared first on Destructoid.

The Destructoid Show reads the news to you.

Here's today's Destructoid Show -- sort of an odd one, since it's the last time we'll be reading the news to you. Of course, we'll have a big huge send-off episode on Friday, but this is the last? we'll be doing a standard news show. Thankfully, we actually have some news to discuss.

For starters, Sony announced some cute little PS Vita slims, as well as PS Vita TV, which seems like an odd device. The guys who made Far Cry 3 have decided to make something that's the opposite of Far Cry 3, which apparently is a whimsical JRPG called Child of Light. The new Call of Duty: Ghosts trailer has a dog biting a guy in a helicopter, so I shout about it a bunch. Not to be out-dogged by Activision, Ubisoft also has a war game with a dog in it, called Valiant Hearts: The Great War, but it's all artsy and emotional.

The post Unleash the Dogs of War! And Some New PS Vitas??, too! appeared first on Destructoid.

And a dog. Don't forget the dog.

"You never expect something you trust to turn against you." Why yes, that is the definition of trust. I'm sure it sounded co?oler in the writer's head.

Snark aside, as a fan of the Call of Duty series' single player campaigns, it's nice to know that Infinity Ward is still putting some effort into the mode more neglected by its players. Astronauts with guns? That one is new. Satellite-based doomsday weaponry? A little Goldeneye-esque, but I'll take it. And of course, the badass Ghosts dog attacks a helicopter, because that is what b?adass dogs do.

The post Call of Duty: Ghosts campaign trailer?? has guns, tautolo??gy appeared first on Destructoid.