It's best if you've got past experience to pull from, but this parody game also holds up on its own

One of Steam's popular new releases this week is a parody of The Witness, and whether you liked that game or ended up bouncing off it, there's fun to be had. The Looker goes ??to surprisingly great lengths to capture that island-exploring puzzle-solving experience, except it's much more concise �above all, it just wants to make you laugh. Also, it's free!

I think it's something anyone could enjoy, but you'll likely appreciate it more if you've cracked far enough into The Witness to know that it's not just a? typical "puzzle game."

[caption id="attachment_331999" align="alignnone" width="1920"] _{The Looker's main game mechanic.}[/caption]

Just like in the source material, yo??u'll walk around an island and look for puzzle panels to solve so that you can expand the game's explorable area, rinse and repeat.

The Looker's puzzle mechanic is the equivalent of a maze on a kid's placemat, and also similar to The Witness, it's a simple premise that goes to some unexpected places. If you've finished The Witness and know how its puzz?les progress, you'll know what I mean to a certain extent �but it also goes a step further with some funny games within a game.

It's a parody game through and through, but Subcreation Studio put enough time, energy, and care into The Looker that it also holds up as its own t??hing. I'm... impres?sed!

The Looker isn't too long, and it sticks the landing

[caption id="attachment_332000" align="alignnone" width="1920"] _{One of many amusingly long-winded audio logs.}[/caption]

While not every joke or gag hit its mark, I ended up chuckling or outright laughing at a handful of them �an early one being a hint button that just kept giving me friendly non-advice. And there are some good a-ha moments, too. As much as The Looker?? leans into Big Shitpost Energy when there's an opportunity, it's an honest-to-goodness video game.

If you've got an hour (or less if you're smart!) to burn, The Looker is worth checking out. Or if you've only got five minutes to spare, Dunkey has an abbreviated playthrough.

The post The Looker is a funny, free take on The Witness appeared first on Destructoid.

Sex education

The goal of any technological advancement is to eventually figure out how to use it to watch pornography. VHS, DVD, Blu-ray, and now adult entertainment has truly thrown itself behind virtual reality. With the Tekken team's VR side project Summer Lesson making wave?s in Japan for allowing folks to live out their dream of not creepin' out teenage girls, it ??was only a matter of time before someone went whole hog with it. 

Private Lesson is an adults-only VR experience, starring Rena Aoi, featuring 16 min?utes of "dramatic parts" and a hearty 30 minute helping of that good ole' good good. 

I'd say a porno flick would be cutting out the middle man, but in the case of Private Lesson's VR POV, it's literally inserting a middle man. You can view its very, very NSFW page here.

Summer Lesson gets inevitable porn adaptation [Kotaku] 

The post Summer Lesson has a porn parody now…if you just want to get down to business appeared first on Destructoid.

Brazzers presents Morricunt vs. Dr. Poon

While it's no Metal Rear Solid: The Phantom Peen, Brazzer's latest video game porn parody isn't as Mickey Mouse'd as The Princess's Peach: A XXX Parody. Or maybe it's just easier to put together a Morrigan costume that stands up to having identifiable signifiers even when the performer is mostly naked and banging (the stand-out hair, even ?if it's too blue, coupled with two pairs of bat wings doesn't quite interfere with porn the way Peach's bulky dress does).

Still, Morricunt vs. Dr. Poon also makes efforts to mimic the horizontal shot of a fighting game and even adds digital effects to the hits, according to the trailer, anyways (which is still incredibl??y NSFW and available on Brazzer's site).

The star of the show, though, has to be Doctor Doom built out of leftover costuming from Heath Ledger's A Knight's Tale. Don't you have a g??rail to seek out, Monty-Python-looking-ass mothe??rfucker!

Also, why not Doctor Dom?

The post Morri??gan faces a King Arthur-ass Doom in Marvel vs. Capcom porn parody appeared first on Destructoid.

Watch it live on Frank's 2000" TV

Weird Al Yankovic is pretty important to me. I'm old enough to remember listening to Weird Al on the radio, Sunday nights on the Dr. Demento Show. Even before that, I would trade cassette tapes with kids at school trying to collect all of Al's songs, and I wore out more than a few of those tapes before I had the money to buy legitimate copies of his music. He's one of the few artists I'm willing to see live, which may say more about me than it does him. And that's why I was excited to see that he's agreed to be the closing act at this year's BlizzCon event in Anaheim next week.

Al's been making music for over four decades, and recently had his first number one album, Mandatory Fun, for which he won his fourth Grammy award. He's best known for his parody songs like "Word Crimes" ("Blurred Lines"), "Fat" ("Bad"), and "White & Nerdy" ("Ridin' Dirty"), but also performs original songs like "One More Minute" and "Lame Claim to Fame." His live shows usually feature several costume changes and video clips from his long entertainment career. If you're interested in reading an interview, here's a great one where Al speaks with Jem??aine Clement of Flight of the Concords.

"We're super excited to close out our tenth BlizzCon with a performance from an epic showman—and fellow geek," said Mike Morhaime, CEO and co-founder of Blizzard Entertainment. "Weird Al has entertained millions of people around the world with his hilariou?s music, and we're thrilled that he’s bringing mandatory fun to the show and everyone following along with a Virtual Ticket."

"I'm very excited to be playing at Bli?zzCon," said Al, "because it’ll be one of the few times in my life where a significant percentage of the audience is even nerdier than I am!"

Tickets to BlizzCon sell out in minutes, but the $40 virtual ticket sold through Battle.net or on Blizzard's website includes streaming access to the live concert in addition to the standard digital tchotchkes. Play us out, Al.

The post Weird Al closing out BlizzCon appeared first on Destructoid.

Not so fast, brother

I am totally into what Blizzard is doing with Overwatch's animated shorts. They flesh out the characters, build up the Overwatch world, and looker baller as hell. I am a big, bi??g fan of cyber ninja ??fights.

That said, they are a litttttle bit predictable. So predictable, YouTuber Krunkidile animated his own creepily accurate version of the most recent episode, Dragons, before i??t even came out. Some of the details are a little hit or miss, but I think he nailed the ess??ence of it. 

Can crotch sword fighting make it into the game somehow? That's some premium Overwatch hen tie I would pay for.

The post Overwatch parody sho?rt hilariously, terribly accurate appeared first on Destructoid.

Fish can lol

Rami Ismail of Vlambeer was inspired by today's super hot, extra informative Doom 4 teaser to whip up a little something for Nuclear Throne. This tantalizing glimpse of the frenetic early access title (that you can play right now) is a conundrum wrapped in a riddle. I know I??'ll be spending the rest of the day breaking apart this teaser frame by frame and comparing my findings on reddit.

The post Amazing Nuclear Throne teaser inspired by Doom 4 appeared first on Destructoid.

A rising star speaks

Jacob "Humble" Browe is a visionary. He's just shipped a multi-billion dollar game to hundreds of retailers across the United States and Canada, with ad??ditional release dates staggered across the world.

After running a successful Kickstarter that raised over $6.5 million to campaign for Avenged Sevenfold to play in his backyard, he then created a Patreon in an effort to supplement his crippling Starbucks habit month-to-month while using kickbacks from his millionaire parents to create Minelands: Call of the Border, the game that's got millions clamoring for a sequel only a day or so ?after release. Now he's making waves in the industry like w??e've never seen before. From humble beginnings, he's rising through the ranks of the video game business like a shooting star. It's going to be one fascinating ride.

Minelands: Call of the Border, from Triple-A Developer Entertainment, is ?Browe's baby, the product that's single-handedly responsible for his rise to prominence. It's received dozens of perfect 10/10, 5/5, 3/3, 2/2, and 1/1 scores from outlets just like this one, and none of us have even gotten to play the game yet. It's a thrill ride to be su??re, but the game isn't the only reason he's becoming a household name.

After putting out a series of daily developer diaries, a photo documentary series with stills from each minute of his day (including videos from each of his Starbucks jaunts), Browe has gained a following with fans as well. His Twitter features up-to-the-minute news and opinions sponsored by now-defunct "energy" soda Vault, where he speaks only?? in lowercase, using bizarre syntax and phrases like "v cool" and "p sure." When it comes to the industry he grew up shunning to ensure he could still impress v??apid women in high school, no detail can go overlooked.

Browe was the picture of patience and humility during our chat in the Gaylord Hotel suite he so lavishly recommended that I reserve with my credit card. I had requested my own room, but he was gracious enough to suggest we share th??e executive suite because, as he put it, "There's way too ??much space in here for one lonely guy."

He spent much of the interview posted up at the minibar alternating between downing shots like a fish desperately seeking the glistening life force of water and checking his iPhone 6 Plus, making moves on his fantasy football team roster. It's like I wasn't even there, which actually allowed me to capture an even more intimate portrait of one of gaming's rising stars. When he did talk though, I definitely felt a sort of camaraderie I hadn't felt in some time from other devs. Chatting in the dimly-lit suite's makeshift "living ?room" area felt a lot like, well, home.

Over a steaming cup of hotel brand coffee, Browe opened up about Minelands: Call of the Border, and why he thinks it has struck a chord with reviewers, who were privy to fifty 30-second trailers over the course of a three-month p?eriod before release.

"Obviously everyone's excited because my game is taking creative risks like no other company out there. Minelands is doing something completely and totally new," Browe gushed, with a twinkle in his eye that could have been all the booze he had taken in before an??d during our talk. "For the first time in history, players can use two weapons at once. So if you're trying to kill an enemy and make sure he's dead, you could use your shotgun and your AK at the same time to dual-wield. You can even reload independently. And you don't even have to ho??ld two weapons at a time if you don't want to. It's not required at all. "

Technically, Browe reminded me earlier on when we met, Minelands is a first-person shooter, but its host of envelope-pushing features ensure that it defies classification. For instance, you'll be able to save your progress anywhere in the game. Rather than waiting for checkpoints, you can go to the menu at ?any time -- whether on PC, Xbox One, PlayStation 4, or N-Gage -- and save. Female characters, I was to??ld, would play a major role as well. 

"Commander Hua Wei is a fellow operative from China, and as you play through the game as Captain Guardevoi she's by your side every step of the way. She'll give you waypoints from her command center, and appear before you as a hologram of sorts for in-game interactions. This is the first time there's ever been a female commander in a shooter, let alone one that gives you orders as you go along. Of course, there's still plenty? of time for romance in the game. Hua Wei may be your colleague as you trek across the Minelands to defeat the nefarious Hangdog Mac??k at the Border, but there's no battlefield too big to let love in."

Though he didn't share much else regarding the title that's launched him into the gaming celebrity stratosphere, Browe did invite me out for dinner next week, where he's ordered that I come dressed in heels and a revealing dress so that we can talk about his creative process. But what about how the players feel about the actual game? I'm dying to know myself. Minelands has been released to the public already, but technically won't be going on sale for another couple of days, and then only at retailers like GameStop and Bed Bath a?nd Beyond.

Some members of approved media outlets who've seen the multitude of trailers are keeping mum about the game thus far ?other than the quotes okayed for the promotional materials: "Fantastic!" proclaims a prominent games magazine. "Brilliantly!" exclaimed a digital publication.

Browe had quotes on hand, but he wasn't so forthcoming about sharing them with me, keeping silent so as not to give anyone a taste of what's already being called Game of the Year material. I did see something along the lines of "Brilliantly terrible," but I'm almost certain the "terrible" was a typo and it was something like 'Brilliantly, terribly genius" from Video Diversion Educator Magazine. But they wouldn't get? the last word on things. That pleasure belonged to Browe as he gave me his parting?? words to pass on. 

"Please subscribe to my Patreon and support independent video game development. Buy me a vanilla bean frappuccino if you end up liking Minelands: Call of the Border. I also accept major credit cards. It's all for the fans, and I'm planning on making som?ething even bigger soon involving player choice. Two words: Branching dialogu??e options." Browe had wiggled his eyebrows seductively toward me after divulging this information, and even as I pen this piece now I'm astounded.

Truly, Jacob "Humble" Browe is a visionary.

The post Jacob ‘Humble’ Browe talks Minelands: Call of the Border appeared first on Destructoid.

Anything to hear that narrator's voice again

Mega64's latest video is about one of my favorite interactive experiences from last year, The Stanley Parable. But, these people look confused. Maybe they don't share my ent??husia??sm for it.

Alternatively, maybe they're confused because not a single one of these people is Stanley. Without Stanley, the name "The Stanley Parable" doesn't make much sense, does it? It could be The John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Parable for all we know.

The post Mega64’s Stanley Parable video is about guys who aren’t Stanley appeared first on Destructoid.

Screen full of jelly, soft drink ads, and DLC!

Doom was an immensely popular and genre-defining game back when it was released in 1993. It paved the way for many titles that followed and is still seen as one of the purest forms of first-person shooter gameplay. But things have clearly changed since then and it raises the question; what would the original Doom be like if it were made today? 

Well, one person has given us the answer by creating a video series showing what Doom would be like if it took advantage of many tropes and cliches that 'modern' FPS games employ. Watch as our hero has to take cover from enemy combatants as his health recharges, and look how skillful he is at breaching rooms and taking out enemies with precision using iron-sight aiming. But be careful! This incarnation of Doom has replaced the dark and gloomy?? horror atmosphere with inaccessible DLC specific?? areas. Ooohhh, so scary!

But ?in all seriousness, this video series does an exceptional job of showing the disparity between the generations when it comes to game design. The only thing scary about it is seeing how accurate it is when it comes to modern shooter titles.

The post What if Doom were produced today? appeared first on Destructoid.

Super Smash Wars: A Link to the Hope

James Farr loves to take Nintendo characters and cross them over with movies. We saw his work previously with his Ghostbusters and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles crossover, now it's Star Wars turn.

This reinterpretation sees the like of Link, Mario, and crew taking on Ganondorf to save Prince Peach, and to take down Majora's Moon. All the little nods to Nintendo games are extremely adorable, and I love how James Farr was able to fit in various characters from Hyrule, the Mushroom Kingdom, and more into appropriate roles in this Stars Wars take.

The post What if Star Wars was made by Nintendo instead? appeared first on Destructoid.

I'd say that's pretty accurate

It's Sunday, so why not end (start?) the week with a laugh. Featured this week is Oney Cartoon's latest parody titled "Pointy Bits." It starts off a little crude, but for the most ??part nails some of the game's more tedious encounters.&??nbsp;

Personally I never drank the Final Fantasy VII Kool-Aid back in the day, as I was busy reveling in my Panzer Dragoon Saga (it's the best RPG of the 32-bit era), but it ?still didn't stop me from knowing practically everything about the game.

For?? instance, I'll never forget wh??en one of my friends spoiled a certain death scene to another, and by extension me. It's probably the one time I've never cared about spoilers, since it was a good ten years later when I finally beat the game on my own, but man do those two friends still hold a grudge for that one bombshell. 

Memories...

Oney Videos : Pointy Bits - FF7 Parody [OneyNG]

The post Sunday Funny: Final Fantasy 7’s Ruby Weapon sure was hard appeared first on Destructoid.

He's gonna take you back to the past...

For years, James "Angry Video Game Nerd" Rolfe has suffered the worst that retro gaming could toss at him for th??e sake of your amusement. Why does he do it? Is he a masochist? Does the rage that burns inside with every sudden death and game-breaking bug fill him with purpose? Why does the pain give him so much power?

To know the Nerd, you have to become the Nerd. You can't just fi?lm yourself playing any ol' NES game, spout a few curse words, post the poorly edited footage onto YouTube, then call it a day. It's not that simple. No, we must dive into the deepest corners of his psyche.

There was once a Z-grade movie of sinister renown called MANOS: The Hands of Fate, which was recently translated into videogame form by FreakZone Games. AVGN show partner ScrewAttack knew that the only way to do a Nerd game justice would be to assign development to a team with experience making palatable the most unpalatable of media drec??k. Only by folding pain over pleasure could we truly begin to understand.

Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures (3DS, PC [reviewed], Wii U)
Developer: FreakZone Games
Publisher: ScrewAttack Games
Released: September 20, 2013 (PC) / 2014 (3DS, Wii U)
MSRP: $14.99
Rig: Intel Core i3-380M, 6GB of RAM, GeForce GT 425M, Windows 7 64-bit

The games that the Nerd typically plays fall under one of three categories: otherwise decent games that feature relentless difficulty, average games with a number of very curious or backwards design ch??oices, and outright festering ass. The last group is his main claim to fame, but for an official Nerd game to work, it would have to draw inspiration from all three categories while at the same time being enjoyable enough to play over prol??onged periods.

In other words, FreakZone had to take shit and simultaneously make it not shit. Quite the parado??x, but one tha?t FreakZone achieved quite handily.

On the surface, Adventures is both an homage to and parody of the AVGN web series. The Nerd and his friends are sucked into the television and transported to Game Land, divided into eight levels inspired by the show's many themes. There is "Assholevania," a send-up of James Rolfe's own love for the Castlevania franchsie; "Beat It & Eat It," a puerile domain filled with the sights and sounds of Atari porn software like Custer's Revenge; "Blizzard of Balls," a wintry hell born out of the AVGN Christmas specials; and others.

Long-time Nerd fans will note many nods and Easter eggs to the show's history in everything from the enemies and items to the obstacles and backgrounds. You consume Rolling Rock to refill health and acquire tokens to summon the Glitch Gremlin or Super Mecha Death Christ. You fly atop the board from Silver Surfer, go toe-to-toe with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and find Shit Pickle hiding in various locations. Then there's the final stage, a foul monument to one of t??he Nerd's most despised game companies.

Several classic Nintendo games are also paid tribute. In the introductory level, you get instructed by Naggi, the green-hued cousin of Ocarina of Time's Navi, much to the Nerd's displeasure. The disappearing blocks from Mega Man and the giant goblin heads from Air Man's stage in Mega Man 2 feature prominently, as does Doom's Cacodemon, remade out of feces and appropriately dubbed "Cacademon." Even FreakZone's own MANOS is acknowledged with a boss battle pulled straight from that t?it?le.

But what really gives Adventures the AVGN touch is the running commentary. Every so often, the Nerd will make some kind of rant or observation, although the fact that it's text-based makes it difficult to read during particularly harrowing platforming segments. Whenever you die, the Nerd will spout one of his famous curse-laden analogies (e.g. "This game is rotten fungus coming out of a badger's sphincter!") with keywords randomly generated from a pool of submissions from the game's Facebook page. The current pool isn't all that big, thus many phrases are repeated; perhaps ScrewAttack w??ill continue to update the game with expanded word banks.

All the references and potty humor in the world wouldn't be enough if the core game wasn't compelling. Thankfully, there is a solid quest beneath the surface dressing that even those completely unfamiliar with the Ne??rd's exploits would be able to enjoy.

If you happened to have played MANOS, you'll notice that Adventures feels like an extension of that, with many shared element??s and environmental hazards -- I wouldn't consider that a knock against this game, though. There's a classic "Nintendo hard" degree of challenge, but it's tempered by very solid controls and enough checkpoints and beer bottles to carry you towards the boss. Oh, and it's got a pretty bangin' soundtrack to keep your fighting spirit high!

You begin the?? game as the Nerd with a ??multi-directional NES Zapper for a weapon, and careful searching will lead you to three additional party members -- Guitar Guy, who can run fast and shoot wave beams through walls; Mike, with a super high jump and the ability to spot destructible walls and invisible platforms; and Bullshit Man, who can double jump and lob extra powerful lumps of poo. Only by swapping characters on the fly and using their abilities can you reach formerly inaccessible areas filled with 1-ups, health, and weapon upgrades. You may even spot a few NPC cameos, like brentalfloss, Egoraptor, and our very own Jim Sterling and Mr. Destructoid!

Every obstacle in the game? operates on very simple patterns that can be observed from a distance before being approached. Spikes that emerge from the floor? Fire pillars or laser turrets that trigger at regular intervals? Maces that circle the bricks they are chained to? Just count the seconds and time your progress. Your mistakes are entirely your own.

Naturally, the last level throws everything plus the kitchen sink at you at once, but that's what last levels ar??e supposed to do.

However, there is one persistent obstacle -- a skull-faced block that causes instant death upon touching -- that caused me great grief. Such blocks appear in clusters and typically blink in and out with the same rhythm as the disappearing blocks. They are everywhere, in every single level without fail, yet they always feel completely out of place. I mean, deat?h blocks that ?kill you with a mere graze? What's up with that?

In a way, death blocks are a quick and easy way to bump up a stage's difficulty without the need to create unique envi??ronmental hazards. Sounds rather creatively bereft, no? But if you were the Nerd, wouldn't such an obstacle become the focus of your rage and frustration, the breaking point after which righteous obscenities start flowing like wine? If the designers' goal was to put you in the Nerd's shoes, such an evil element would be necessary to trigger that transformation.

Adventures is no insurmountable wall, but neither is it a welcome wagon. On Normal mode, you are given 30 lives and unlimited continues, which should allow anyone with enough drive to at least make it to the final boss within a couple of hours -- whether you can actually beat the final boss is another matter, the god-modding bastard. Beyond that are even tou??gher difficulty modes that prevent saving between levels and reduce your amount or health and r??etries.

As a pseudo NES-era throwback, it nails the careful balance between cruel and inviting. As a tribute to the Nerd, it does a decent job covering his entire career, although repetit?ive dialog lessens the humorous impact on repeated playthroughs. As an authentic Nerd "experience"... well... your mileage may vary, but I'd like to think it is.

Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures is not a cowa-fucking-piece-of-dog-shit, that's for certa??in?!

The post Review: Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures appeared first on Destructoid.

I can show you the world...

OH MY GOD! I am dying, you guys! I'm dead!

This isn't the only parody that YouTuber SMNtoob slapped together (OH SNAP! It was our own Genki-JAM the whole time! Why didn't I read the video descriptions more carefully?). He's got a Mulan one from last month. I don't even mind the bad sig??ning, 'cause this sh*t is golden!

Make Way For DLC! - An Aladdin Parody [YouTube via NeoGAF]

A Game Worth Paying For - A Mulan Parody [YouTube]

The post Make way for DLC! appeared first on Destructoid.

The game has changed, my friends

One of the coolest game shows from back in the day was Nick Arcade on Nickelodeon. For those too young to remember or living outside the US, it was a quiz show with a videogame hook. There would be "Video Challenge" rounds in which contestants would play one of the available 16-bit games and try to meet a specified score or goal. And the winning team from the main game would get to enter the "Video Zone," a virtual reality room that literally put the players inside a videogame. So awesome.

Mega64 is bringing Nick Arcade back for the 21st century. The games are a little different, but hopefully you'll agree that the spirit is the ??same.

Mega64 Video - Nick Arcade [GameTrailers]

The post Nick Arcade, the 21st century Mega64 reboot appeared first on Destructoid.

Schoolhouse Rock! for the gaming age

Comedy music man brentalfloss and animator Sean DePew last teamed up for the wonderfully sweet "Baby Mario & Papa Yoshi" music video. Their latest collaboration is a kickass parody of Schoolhouse Rock!, which if you never saw it was like the greatest thing ever. No foolin'.

"Game Launch Rock!" warns potential buyers of the pitfalls of launch window consoles. Even as a parody, it's cool, funny, and informative. You can't beat that!

Seriously though, don't buy game consoles at launc??????????????????????????h. Like, ever. You are only setting yourself up for disappointment.

Game Launch Rock! [YouTube]

The post Never, ever buy a videogame console at launch appeared first on Destructoid.

The studio behind James Bond almost stopped Cate Archer in her tracks

We've been hearing little snippets of information concerning No One Lives Forever recently, like how no one actually knows who has the rights to the IP. A new interview on the Jace Hall Show reveals how the original game may never have seen the light of day in the first place. MGM studios sent the?? developer Monolith a cease-and-desist letter, claiming Cate Archer's adventures infringed on their own James Bond IP.

No One Lives Forever lead designer Craig Hubbard revealed that the letter from one of MGM's senior vice-presidents gave the studio 10 days to confirm they would cease production of the game. Monolith's solution? Just ignore the letter and keeping making NOLF. The cease and desist was sent a full 18 ?months before the game shipped so it's possible that the studio forgot about ?it in the gap before release. 

Craig reveals some interesting things about NOLF's development, like how the gender of the main protagonist changed because of Monolith's initial fears of infringing on James Bond or how publisher Fox Interactive pushed the game to be set in the '60s rather than a '60s-inspired universe. Hopefully someone can get their act together and let Cate Archer have one last adventure; just not like that Bond movie Never Say Never Again, that was pish.

Turns Out NO ??ONE LIV?ES FOREVER…Almost Didn’t Live At All [The Jace Hall Show]

The post MGM tried to snuff out No One Lives Forever appeared first on Destructoid.

'I'm afraid I can't do that'

When all is said and done, hopefully this turns out to be more parody and less foreshadowing. I don't want to b?e "??all-in-one," whatever the hell that means.

The post Xbox One: ??A Space Oddity video paints a grim future appeared first on Destructoid.

Two months of Sonic, Chrono Trigger, DuckTales, and more

I've tried my very best to avoid sharing too much of Smooth McGroove's kickass a cappella arrangements. Not???? because I think he's lost his Midas touch, but because I didn't want to be held responsible for making heads explode out of sheer delight. But I couldn't hold back any longer and decided to cram his past two months of work into a single post. Please listen at your own risk.

If you still haven't subscribed to the channel of this singing sack of facial hair, hit up each of the seven songs posted on this page and soak 'em in. He's covered the Moon theme from DuckTales, the Chemical Plant Zone theme from Sonic the Hedgehog 2, "Corridors of Time" from Chrono Trigger, and others. You wanna talk variety? He even arranged an obscure track from Touhou Koumakyou ~ the Embodiment of Scarlet Devil, a bullet hell PC shmup from 2002!

Enjoy the Saturday night entertainment, duders!

DuckTales - The Moon Theme Acapella [YouTube]

Sonic 2 - Chemical Plant Zone Acapella [YouTube]

Pok&eac??ute;mon theme parody acapella - 'Try to catch a few' ft. Dookieshed [YouTube]

'U.N. Owen Was Her?' Acapella (??Flandre's Theme) - Touhou [YouTube]

Chrono Trigg????er - Corridors of Time (Zeal Theme) Acapella [YouTube]

Mega Man 2 - Dr. Wily Stage Acapella [YouTube]

Street Fighter 2 - Guile Theme Acapella [YouTube]

The post The ecstacy of Smooth McGroove’s VG a cappellas appeared first on Destructoid.

Minecraft parody of PSY's "Gentleman"

Everyone was totally diggin' Korean pop sensation PSY when his "Gangnam Style" music video became an international hit. Then he just kept riding it... and riding it... and riding it. Then he starred in a pistachio commercial; I couldn't facepalm hard enough.

At least he came out with a new song recently, even if it's essentially a clone of PSY's previous hit. Then entertainment network Red 5 Studio made this b*tchin' Minecraft music video parody, and I feel happy once again.

Minecraft Grieferman (Psy "Gentleman" Parody) [YouTube]

The post PSY is a minin’, craftin’ grieferman appeared first on Destructoid.

Unfortunately, plans for an NES port fell through

James Rolfe's retrotastic digital quest, Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures, recently passed through Greenlight, securing a spot on Steam's virtual storefront. According to a post on the game's Facebook page, developer S??crewAttack Games will also be bringing the nerd rage to Nintendo platforms. Time to bust out the Advantage and set up the ol' CRT in mom's basement!

Slow it down, son! AVGN Adventures is just slated for modern Nintendo consoles, i.e. 3DS and Wii U eShops, as "the retro consoles can't handle the game's power." Shame. I would have loved f??or the Nerd's visage to ??grace the label of an NES game pak!

It's only fitting that the artist formerly known as the Angry Nintendo Nerd would grace Nintend??o platforms in his first official videogame debut. Will Sony and Microsoft's machines get some loving in the future as well? Who knows!

AVGNGame [Facebook via oprainfall] (Thanks, alucardsquest!)

The post Angry Video Game Nerd Ad?ventures bound f??or 3DS, Wii U appeared first on Destructoid.

Or the whole album for $7.99

_{[Video uploaded by bedsidecargo]}

Internet songman brentalfloss has uploaded many funny and creative music videos to his YouTube page over the years. Among those, he cherry-picked a few choice tunes, re-rerecorded them with improved vocals and instrumentation, then packed them into a pair of CDs: What If This CD... Had Lyrics? and Bits of Me. That still leaves a bunch of remaining tracks just sitti??ng there, anxiously awaiting a proper album release.

Brent has taken a whole mess of those leftovers and whipped up a makeshift album entitled Unreleased YouTube Songs! It includes early work like his Super Mario World-themed "What a Wonderful World" parody (check the PAX East performance above), later material like "Little Nemo With Lyrics," and even bonuses like "MacGyver With Lyrics." These are the songs as you heard them online, so no remastering aside from the quality gains from not playing through YouTube. On the plus side, you can download each tr??ack for $0.59 or all 18 for $7.99!

The 59-cent sale extends to a pair of non-game musicals that he wrote in college: Shades of Gray and OU​-​Sical! The Musical. You can also cop the "Cave Story Without Lyrics" instrumental and the "Floss Man Theme 2013 Remix" theme, both tasty chiptune numbe?rs for your e??arholes. Show the man some love and he'll love you long and hard in return.

Unreleased YouTube Songs! [Bandcamp]

The post Snag brentalfloss’ unreleased YouTube jams for $0.59 each appeared first on Destructoid.

Mess up the mix, mix up the mess!

In case you've forgotten that Destructoid is staffed by beautiful, tale?nted people, let me remind you that we've got artists, singer-songwriters, sc??ientists, and former reality show stars amongst our ranks. We are some gifted motherf*ckers.

One such talent is regular reviewer Ian Bonds, known elsewhere on the Intarwebs as Insane Ian, purveyor of pop parodies with a videogame twist. Ian knows that many of us have short attention spans (look at the kitty!) and can't sit through an entire album's worth of material in one shot, thus he likes to take some of his best songs each year and produce an all-encompassing super medley. He's done four such medleys so far, available as a bundle on Bandcamp for $4.

Ian's latest mix just released today, "The Ultra Epic Video Game Medley IV: Guns of the Last Nightmare New ?Patriot Revelations," riffs on Motley Crüe's "Shout at the Devil," Hall and Oates' "Maneater," Fallout Boy's "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark," Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe," and others. He's like the Weird Al of videogame nerds! Speaking of Weird Al...

The Epic Video Game Medley Collection [Bandcamp]

The post Go cop Insane Ian’s new VG / pop music parody medley appeared first on Destructoid.

Death is but a warp pipe, time is but a magic painting

I appreciate Flash animators with quick turnaround between projects. Just a couple months ago, James Farr was able to deliver Super Mario Busters, a kick-ass mashup of Super Mario and Ghostbusters, and alrea??dy he's hammered out a ??sequel. He's not a man, he's a machine!

Taking cues from Ghostbusters 2, the latest short expands the busting crew to include Yoshi, Sonic the Hedgehog, and a Slimer Yoshi. Then you've got Bowser as Vigo and a giant Samus Aran as the Statue of Liberty, and of course they have to square off in a titanic Smash Bros. showdown. The referen?ces and sight gags fly by so quickly that you may have to re-watch the video several times to catch them all!

The New Su??per M??ario Busters 2 - A Ghostbusters 2 / Super Mario Bros. Mashup [YouTube]

The post The Mario Busters answer the call once again appeared first on Destructoid.

The parodic platformer has passed through Greenlight and will release on Steam

The Angry Video Game Nerd's assault on all things sh*tty and retro will soon break from the confines of live-action footage and into the digital world. Following last week's teaser trailer, here comes pre-alpha gameplay of Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures, submitted for your dissection.

With NES Zapper in hand, the pixelated Nerd races through levels modeled after the highest and lowest points of old-school gaming, from Mega Man 2 and Castlevania to the ball-busting Silver Surfer. He even confronts a Cacodemon from Doom made entirely out of feces and dod?ges a swarm of cock-and-ball missiles. Subtle and reserved, this game i??s not.

AVGN Adventures is still on track for PCs later this year, and it looks like Steam users will also be served. It has passed through Greenlight in less than two weeks, a testament to the Nerd's ravenous fanbase. The game certainly looks decent thus far, and considering this footage is from a ??pre-alpha build, it's bound to look even snazzier down the line.

AVGN Adventures - Gameplay Trailer [Cinemassacre]

The post Check out Angry Video Game?? Ner?d Adventures in action appeared first on Destructoid.

Shinji is up for some jolly co-operation

A new video has taken the world of Dark Souls and put it up against the entire intro of Neon Genesis Evangelion. The mash-up is faithfully recreated, from the half second cuts all the way to the scrolling sketches. Dark Souls fans will most likely get a rise out of spotting their favorit?e bosses, with all of those horrible memories of their deaths rushing back in the process.

Say what you will about the quality of the animation, but it takes dedication to prepare as many assets are there are in this project. Plu?s, Solaire of Astora gets a stand-out spot, which is good enough for me!

The post Prepare to watch this Dark Souls and? Evangelion mash-up appeared first on Destructoid.

What is going on in this Pok?mon rap video?

Ummmm... wut?

This Pokémon rap, a parody of Trinidad James' "All Gold Everything," is so ridiculous that I have to wonder how anyone in the video could keep a straight face. Thugged-out Pokémon trainers wearing gold chain necklaces with copies of Pokémon Gold dangling fr?om them? Curb stomping a Squirtle sp??rite made out of Perler beads? A dude snarfing down chow mein from a gold Chinese takeout container?

You're messed up, Broken Pixels.

Pokemon Gold Everything (All Gold Everyth?ing Parody) [YouTube]

The post Stay gold, Pokemon… stay gold appeared first on Destructoid.

Would you kindly in a box? Would you kindly with a fox?

Watch out, Ashley Davis! You are not the only one capable of turning violent videogames into adorable children's entertainment!

Aussie artist DrFaustusAU has a talent for emulating the distinctive style of Dr. Seuss book covers. Over on deviantART, he has a gallery of Seussian delights based on everything from Batman and Star Wars to Dexter and The A-Team. And among them are a trio of game adaptations for BioShock, Silent Hill, and Skyrim.

In addition to the spot-on cover designs, DrFaustusAU provides a single rhyming verse for each. It's a simple touch, but it kinda makes you wish? he'd go whole hog and do a full book.

Seussian Gallery by DrFaustusAU [deviantART via Geekologie]

The post These Dr. Seuss g??ame-to-book parodies ar?e delightful appeared first on Destructoid.

College Humor has the answer

BioShock Infinite may be all the rage lately, but I've had the original BioShock on my mind and so has College Humor. One part BioShock Cliffs Notes, one part Little Mermaid cover, College Humor's latest original is a joyful reminder of how great Disney soundtracks are and how completely screwed Rapture was. It's also a reminder that Andrew Ryan is quite the dancer, in addition to being a d?apper overlord.

I feel a little embarrassed admitting this, but I find the video to be a helpful synopsis as I play through BioShock again. Now what would be a good Disney song to cover for a BioShock Infinite cover?

The post What if BioShock was a Disney musical? appeared first on Destructoid.

Dysentremendous

If there's one thing that's more overplayed than zombies, it's reviews for zombie videogames talking about how overplayed zombies are.? Truly, nobody can win anymore. We're worn out on the zombie thing, and worn out by our own weariness of said zombie thing. 

Even so, the undead menace has been kept "alive" by a seemingly endless horde of developers able to find interesting new takes on the scenario. All too ofte?n, I've personally sworn off zombie media, only to be dragged back by something that was just too clever to resist. 

The Organ Trail is one such dose of cleverness. As its name implies, it's an altogether more grisly take on the classic educational game The Oregon Trail. With zombies.  

Cue the yawns, right? Except for ?the fact that, as many of you should know by now, it's kind of brilliant.

The Organ Trail: Director's Cut (PC)
Developer: The Men Who Wear Many Hats
Publisher: The Men Who Wear Many Hats
Released: March 19, 2013
MSRP: $4.99
Rig: Intel i7-2600k @3.40 GHz, with 8GB of RAM, GeForce GTX 580 GPU (SLI)

The Organ Trail sounds like a one-note joke, and newcomers would be forgiven for assuming such a joke wears thin long before the closing credits. However, the game is remarkable in just how much staying power it has. Yes, it's basically just Oregon Trail with zombies, but the Director's Cut adds smart twists and constantly keep?s the pressure on players to ??the point where it easily stands out on its own, more than a simple parody.

Players assume the leader of a band of survivors, and must travel from one coast of the United States to the other in a beat up station wagon. Structured v?ery much like its namesake, gameplay consists of driving from landmark to landmark, dealing with supply shortages and random setbacks along the way. Maintaining health, acquiring stores of food, repairing the car and ensuring there's enough fuel to reach the next stopping point are all crucia??l factors to consider, and things can happen along the way to further jeopardize the journey. 

Travel between locations is automatic, and random events can occur along the way. A character may get sick, something in the car might break, or a bump in the road could cause fuel cans to fly off the roof and get lost. More hands-on hindrances involve hordes of zombies, which you can choos??e to sneak or fight through, or encounters with fellow survivors, offering dialog choices that could lead you into trouble or reward your decision making. More often than not, however, trouble will be the result. 

A general rule of Organ Trail, once again like its namesake, is that if anything can go wrong, it will. The game is almost demoralizing in just how willing it is to assault your survivors with problems. When ammunition is low, expect one of your survivors to accidentally drop some out of the window. If you have no spare tires, a bandit is more than willing to shoot one of yours out, stranding the party between destinations and forcing the player to wait for passing traders with the right gear. Food can go rotten, mufflers can fall a??part, and party members can get bitten by the undead. 

Should a character get bitten, they can generally survive without? turning into a zombie. If their health gets too low, however, the risk of turning becomes more likely, and players will have to decide whether or not to kill them. Putting down a party member requires pulling the trigger yourself, and losing any survivor means having one less chance to make it through th??e game's finale alive. 

At landmarks and rest stops, players can shop or trade with fellow survivors, use scrap metal to repair the vehicle, and purchase upgrades for both the car and ?player character. Here, the party may also rest to regain health (at the cost of food), or use medkits for the treatment of more serious injuries. Jobs can also be taken on, as can scavenging missions to gain supplies ?and cash. These options require the successful completion of a range of action-based shooter modes. 

Shooting sections retain the retro feel of the rest of the game, and the rudimentary controls make for a distinctly nerve-wracking experience. In scavenge mode, zombies swarm in from the edges of the screen while the player picks up randomly spawning supplies. There are also defense challenges, which fixes the pl?ayer behind a wall and requires all encroaching zombies be killed, and shootouts with bandits, a somewhat frustrating mode in which players must keep cover and shoot at human opponents -- who are also shooting and covering in an excessively annoying game of cat-and-mouse. 

The player moves slowly using the WASD keys, and has to shoot by first holding down the left mouse button, pulling back to aim, and letting go. It's a deliberately awkward system that results in regular misses and forces the player to stop and aim carefully. Such design runs the risk of becoming infuriating, but Trail's focus on survival, ammo conservation, and general fear of failure means it works excellently in compounding one's terror. Despite the game's prehistoric graphics, it's remarkable just how much of a survival horror atmosphere is mainta?ined. 

It's a good idea to pay attention to the zombie activity before heading out to scavenge. Ranging from low to deadly, activity determines how hard it'll be to avoid zombie contact. To successfully scavenge, you just have to collect items until the time runs out, but if a zombie touches you once, you'll fail, lose some of what you collected, and take a hit to the health bar -- which player characters can only replenish with expensive medkits. Even in areas with low zombie activity, there's enough competition to keep one challenged -- and that activity can change between missions, so one always needs to keep an eye on it. To make things even harsher, the Director's Cut version adds random boss zombies, such as mutant bears and dogs, which take a ton o?f damage to put dow?n and are generally hard to avoid. 

On the road, some other action-based challenges may occur. Bike gangs can assault the station wagon, or a herd of zombie deer may give chase. In these events, the car is moved up and down a section of road with the W and S keys, and must be used to either smash bikes off the r?oad or avoid undead animals, respectively. 

Though the main mode is short, the constant fear of failure and sense of urgency provides m??ore than enough anxiety for one sitting. There's also an endless mode with a set of extra challenges that unlock skulls. Skulls, in turn, unlock new endless scenarios and gameplay conditions, providing potentially tons and tons of gameplay on top of the campaign. 

Though one could potentially spend hours with the game, the gamepla??y is simplistic enough to not quite provide that kind of compulsion. Once the campaign's beaten, endless mode is, essentially, more of the same, even with extra cond??itions. You're still trundling from place to place, trading gear, scavenging items, and shooting white squares and bright green zombies. It's fun while it lasts, but the amusement factor and the jokes only have so much mileage. 

One thing that Organ Trail deserves immense amounts of praise for is its brilliant soundtrack. Merging DOS-style bleeps and bloops with deeper percussion, the game's infectious music imbues nostalgic sounds with the kind of dread-inspiring sound made famous in such films as 28 Days Later. It's a fantastic score, and one of the most game-appropriate I've encounter??ed in a while. 

Organ Trail: Director's Cut has a few things going against it. It's a paro?dy game, which is always a risk, and it involves? zombies; an increasingly tiresome creative crutch.

But through wit, ingenuity, and good old fashion?ed sadism, it manages to succeed against the odds and provide a truly rewarding spin on a number of classic ideas. For the price, you really couldn't ask for more.

The post Review: The Organ Trail: Director’s Cut appeared first on Destructoid.