It's over

It's 2023, and there's next to no interest in the Electronic Entertainment Expo. E3 has been canceled. The exhilarating conferences are over. The epic moments are over. The hilarity of bloopers on stage is over. E3 is a trade show that was like Christmas for video game fans, and, sadly, it appears to ??be all gone.

Still, there once was a time when essentially everyone in the gaming community came together and looked forward to the exciting games ahead. It was an event I've always wanted to go to, but I just missed my opportunity. It's something I'll always regret, but at least the VODs of past streamed conferences are memorable. Here are 10 of my favorite E3 moments from t??he event's history.

Miyamoto's Master Sword entrance

//youtu.be/uXrsK8ICp8E?t=63

One of the most iconic E3 moments comes from the creator of The Legend of Zelda Shigeru Miyamoto. This is the first true time I saw the memorable game designer. His enthusiasm and grandiose pose as Link with the Master Sword is still special to this day. It's been implanted into everyone's memory and is part of E3 history. The crowd was on their feet, exhilarated for the announcement and to see Miyamoto present. You can tell how much passion he has for the project in this video. That personal connection between the developer and the crowd is far more effective than a Nintendo Direct these days. I miss it.

Reggie’s body is ready

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Gc5cuekQto

Cheesy humor is usually a miss at E3 shows. It leaves all of us gritting our teeth. When former Nintendo of America chief operating officer and president Reggie Fils-Aimé said, "My body is ready," however, it was endearing. With no hesitation, Reggie said the line and made us enthusiastic for a plastic board; it felt so human from such a corporate presentation. It reflects Nintendo's willingness to get weird and connect with its fans. Now, it's a part of Reggie's legacy at the company and in fact, the line was cheered at E3 2012 when he referenced back to it five years later. It's one of the best E3 mo?ments just from how funny it is.

The PlayStation conference orchestra

[caption id="attachment_372255" align="alignnone" width="1200"] Screenshot via PlayStation's YouTube Cha?nnel[/caption]

As PlayStation was nearing the end of its spectacular E3 conferences, the company began to include a fantastic orchestra to coincide with its grand announcements. God of War was announced with a live orchestra led by Bear McCreary. It builds the tension of the announcement and set the stage for Kratos' new Nordic?? setting. As a lover of video game music, I appreciated the focus on the grand God of War theme. Music is an important element of games and can raise the stakes in action scenes or make us connect to an emotional scene. In this instance, the orchestra gave every trailer a g??ravitas that wasn't there before. It felt grander. It's a feeling that hasn't been replicated in the pre-packaged, digital State of Play streams.

Other performances like the musical introduction to The Last of Us Part 2 by Gustavo Santaolalla and the flute performance from Cornelius Boots for Ghost of Tsushima are also special moments we remember from E3.

Wii Music Catastrophe

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=DM2DCflkA6s

Sometimes, the best E3 moments are not always the most successful. There's the grand orchestra performance from PlayStation, but you can also watch the spectacular failure of Wii Music's demo on stage. It's hilarious as you see Miyamoto and other Nintendo staffers playing music awkwardly with the Wii remote and nunchuck. The drummer is also weirdly psyched. His drums alongside the made-up musician group play an offbeat version of the 1-1 theme from Super Mario Bros. It sounded pretty awful. Even I, a kid?? at the time, thought this was dreadful, and looking back, it's become one of the funniest blunders in Nintendo's history. Even the best have their slip-ups.

Konami's embarrassing E3 presentation

//youtu.be/l1vmrMAqeWM

Unfortunately, there are no words to describe how laughably awful Konami's E3 2010 presentation is. It has to be seen to be believed. There are Mexican wrestlers who go off-script and almost choke out the presenter. There's a "so bad it's good" script that brings a sm??ile to your face. An awkward man is staring deeply into the back of another prisoner's skull with intensity. And there's some abysmal dancing with a Kinect game.

It's arguably the wor??st E3 presentation of all time, but it's so hilarious that you can't miss it. It makes me somewhat resent the polished and clear messaging that a pre-recorded show provides. I loved the unpredictability of live E3 presentations, and there's a human element that? is lost from the scripted affair of today's live-streamed updates. The excellent supercut by Crowbcat is the best way to watch the Konami presentation. All you'll say is WOW.

Kojima's return

[caption id="attachment_372260" align="alignnone" width="1200"] Screenshot via PlayStation's YouTube Chann??el[/??caption]

One of the most groundbreaking entrances in E3 history is Hideo Kojima's return. After having issues with Konami and being reportedly forbidden to appear at The Game Awards for his award for Metal Gear Solid V, Kojima's E3 2016 entrance is amazing.

The grand orchestra played "Brothers in Arms" from the Mad Max: Fury Road movie just for him. Furthermore, he walks down a simulated white staircase with his company's logo behind him. Kojima's the man during th??is entrance, just like The Rock entering a WWE match. I'm not a Kojima fan and? even I was hyped as hell after the drama the developer went through.

He then followed through with the announcement of Death Stranding, a trailer that intrigued his fans and left more questions ?than an??swers (which is expected from a Kojima game).

No, you're breathtaking

[caption id="attachment_372261" align="alignnone" width="1200"] Screenshot via Xbox's YouTube Channel[/caption]

You know it's a big E3 moment when it gets shared across social media and outside of the gaming bubble. During Xbox's E3 2019 conference, Keanu Reeves stepped out, following the reveal that he would play Johnny Silverhand in Cyberpunk 2077. There was already hype surrounding the game. Everyone in the audience was ecstatic that a charismatic actor like Reeves is in the cast. It was also a rare surprise, as big reveals can be tough to keep under wraps headed into E3.

Someone in the crowd said that Keanu Reeves was breathtaking, and Reeves replied in a cool manner, "You're breathtaking!" It was so personable and made us love Reeves even more than we did before. It's a moment that was shared millions of times throughout the world. Unfortunately, Cyberpunk 2077 didn't launch in the best state, but his major role as Johnny Silverhand is certainly?? one of the game's biggest strengths.

The charisma of Kevin Butler

//youtu.be/LwPWN3Ul6U8

During the PS3 era of gaming, there were few other marketing icons as charming as Kevin Butler. Jerry Lambert's character was silly, charismatic, and spoke well as the most popular wrestlers in the WWE. He was the pseudo-corporate personality that helped bring the PS3 to strength. He helped advertise the important price drop to $299 and made con??sumers understand "it only does everything."

His E3 2010 speech is a flurry of gags. For five minutes, he spoke about our love of gaming. He tells us about having a ridiculous huge TV in a tiny one-room apartment and staying up until 3 a.m. for a trophy that isn't real (but is). The crowd was so into it. It was also hilarious how he made fun of Ubisoft's elaborate Just Dance routines.

The PS4 used games video

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ht-0Hne4EU

There is a reason why I keep relating the WWE to E3 press conferences. There's nothing more sp?ecial than having a conne??ction with your fans, and PlayStation absolutely was the face (hero) of the conflict against the heel Xbox. In 2013, there was fear in the gaming community. The Xbox One wasn't going to let you share physical games, and games had to be authenticated online. PlayStation gave their rival a one-two punch during that E3.

In a short 22-second tutorial video on how to share your games, PlayStation simply had Shuhei Yoshida pass a game to Adam Boyes with the latter saying thanks in a funny tone, looking at the camera with a smile. It is still hi?larious to this day and has been viewed over 19 million times on YouTu??be since. It shows how PlayStation was in tune with its audience in those days.

The announcement of used games support also made the crowd go crazy during their press conference alongside the $100 cheaper price for the PS4. It felt like PlayStation won the generation before it even started. PlayStation was on top of the world with games people cared about (excluding Knack) and thankfully, no word of any cable TV integration ?that Xbox had a weird?? obsession with.

Davide Soliani tearing up over Miyamoto speaking about Mario + Rabbids

[caption id="attachment_372269" align="alignnone" width="1200"] Screenshot via Ubisoft's YouTube Channel[?/caption]

99% of the time, E3 feels so corporate. Marketing takes precedence over the event. As a result, when there's a genuine human element though, it stands out. Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle director Davide Soliani teared up as Miyamoto spoke about his game during Ubisoft's conference. It was such a special moment. Miyamoto shouted him out on stage, cutting to th?e shot above.

"I said, 'whatever you do, don't make a jump game or a Mario platformer'" said Shigeru Miyamoto. "Try to make a Mario game that has never been made before." Soli??ani and the team at Ubisoft did that and succeeded. Miyamoto called it great during the Ubi??soft conference. And it gave us a rare and unscripted moment of genuine human emotion, reflecting the passion that has always been tucked away at the heart of E3.

The post Let’s take a look at 10 of my favorite E3 moments appeared first on Destructoid.

Sad!

By E3 2008, the Wii had just passed the Xbox 360 in US sales, despite having come out a year later. With the PS3 flagging, it was Nintendo's race to win. And then we met Ravi. Riding high, Nintendo came into E3 2008 with absolutely nothing to show, hence the extended stage performance of Wii Music and turning out DJ Ravi Drums for an epileptic dr??um so?lo.

Though he single-handedly sunk Nintendo on its way to its apex, leading to an entire console generation playing catch up, Ravi persevered. He performed at the 2009 Academy Awards and was voted "The Worlds Best Innovative Dj/Drummer" at the "2010 Peopl?es Choice," according to his Wikipedia page, though there is no source and I can't find any evidence that ??such an award exists.

Soon, he'll be playing for the President of the United States, a discarded Thanksgiving turkey skin that gained sentience after rolling in the shed fur of a feral tabby cat. Donald Trump has had some public problems s?ecuring celebrities and performers for his January 20 inauguration. Acts from Elton John ("Incorrect. He will NOT be performing," his publicist rebuk??ed) to Ice T ("I didn’t pick up and Blocked the number.") have declined to perform.

The president-elect did manage to nab E3 2008 star DJ Ravi Drums to go along with fellow headliners Toby Keith ("Beer for My Horses"), 3 Doors Down (that song "Kryptonite" you kept hearing in grocery stores in the early 2000s), and Jackie Evancho (the second-place America's Got Talent winner in 2010).

Who Is Performing at Donald J. Trump&rsq?u??o;s Inauguration? A Shortlist [The New York Times]

The post The sad, manic fac??e of Wii Music is performing at the Trump inauguration appeared first on Destructoid.

Review Round-up: Week ending 11/23

After last week's PlayStation 4 review domination, Microsoft finally got it's chance to strut its stuff with the Xbox One. Forza Motorsports 5, Dead Rising 3, Killer Instinct, Crimson Dragon, Ryse, and a handful of other ex??clusive titles flooded our pages this week. But regardless of all the Xbox One hype, their games were far from the biggest ??titles of the week.

Two titles, fin fact, garnered our coveted 10 out of 10 score. Nintendo's Super Mario 3D World and from Little Big Planer creators, Media Molecule, Tearaway. If you'??ve been holding out on either the Wii U or PS Vita, you may have just found your first two must have system-selling titles of the year.

Review Round-up: Week ending 11/16
Review Round-up: Week ending 11/9

Need for Speed: Rivals (PS4 [reviewed], PS3, Xbox One, Xbox 360, PC)
Developer: Ghost Games
Publisher: Electronic Arts
Release: November 15, 2013 for PS4, November 19 for Xbox 360,  PS3

Even with ??the balance issues and design missteps, Need for Speed: Rivals is a blast. Literally. Plowing into cops to watch them explode off the side of the road as you zip by is never not fun. So is blasting them wi?th EMP to watch them flip in the air. And through AllDrive's connectivity, I l??oved being able to race up alongside someone and mash L1 to instantly challenge them to a head-to-head showdown. Ramping jumps, drift contests, dodging speed traps -- it's all a blast. There's simply too much fun to be had here to get hung up on the gripes.

Verdict: 8/10

Read the full Need for Speed: Rivals review

Crimson Dragon (Xbox One)
Developer: Grounding, Inc. / Land Ho! Co. Ltd.
Publisher: Microsoft Studios
Release Date: November 22, 2013
MSRP: $19.99

Crimson Dragon was a pleasant surprise. As a m?assive fan of the Panzer series, I was worried that this wouldn't quite ho?nor it, but there's plenty here for gamers who have been longing for an entry since 2003's Orta. There are some mechanical problems, but any old-schoo??l rail shooter fan will be able to handle them.

Verdict: 8/10

Read the full Crimson Dragon review

Dead Rising 3 (Xbox One [reviewed])
Developer: Capcom Vancouver
Publisher: Microsoft Studios
Release Date: November 22, 2013
MSRP: $59.99

Although it sacrifices a tad&n?bsp;of its loveable camp factor and neon style in favor of a few other advancements, the outcome is a much stronger, more involved Dead Rising game. For once, I actually felt overwhelmed in a zombie outbreak, which is a real example of how next-gen technology can be used to do more than simply "make things look be??tter." Out of all the launch titles I've played on both new consoles, Dead Rising 3 is my personal favorite, bar none.

Verdict: 9/10

Read the full Dead Rising 3 review

LocoCycle (Xbox 360, Xbox One [reviewed])
Developer: Twisted Pixel Games
Publisher: Microsoft Studios
Release Date: November 22, 2013
MSRP: $19.99

LocoCycle tries a lot of new things thematica??lly, while simultaneously paying homage to cla??ssic arcade racing shooters. It doesn't succeed in everything it sets out to do, but if you're looking for a decent arcade shooter to toy around with on your new Xbox One, LocoCycle is it. For everyone else, you'll?? have to wait until it hits the?? Xbox 360.

Verdict: 7/10

Read the full LocoCycle review

Legends of Aethereus (PC, Mac, Linux)
Developer: Three Gates
Publisher: Three Gates
Released: September 27, 2013
MSRP: $29.99

Legends of Aethereus is flawed, but not to the point of being offensive or terrible. While the setting is interesting, the weak combat and poor level design ma??ke it hard to recommend. You can experience everything the game has to offer in a couple of hours, and for an RPG that's never a good thing.

Verdict: 3/10

Read the full Legends of Aethereus review

Super Mario 3D World (Wii U)
Developer: Nintendo EAD Tokyo
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: November 22, 2013
MSRP: $59.99

There was a moment where I ??was taking in the beautiful soundtrack, hovering over a tricky jump as cat Peach,?? and watching the glistening water below where the game really came together. It was then that I realized that Super Mario 3D World had achieved a level of platforming design t??hat's close to perfection, and there was almost never a moment where I didn't have a smile on my face. This is the unequivocally the best Mario game since Galaxy 2, and it shows up anything the "New" series has ever done, and then some.

Verdict: 10/10

Read the full Super Mario 3D World review

Tearaway (Vita)
Developer: Media Molecule 
Publisher: Sony Computer Entertainment 
Release Date: November 22, 2013
MSRP: $39.99

Everything just w?orks so well in unison. The soundtrack is delightful and odd, at times reminiscent of Paprika’s parade fanfare with its lively horns. The world, put together in paper scraps, is unbelievabl?e in its artistry and functio??n. Tearaway’s paper water and ripples as you walk through it are more impressive than any realistic water graphics I’ve ever seen. The level of u??nique detail in the world is staggering. Every moment spent immersed in it is heartwarming. Fittingly, it feels positively han??dcrafted.

Verdict: 10/10

Read the full Tearaway review

Forza Motorsport 5 (Xbox One)
Developer: Turn 10
Publisher: Microsoft
Release Date: November 22, 2013

...At the end of the day, the racing is what matters. And with this game, the racing is fantastic, and Turn 10 is really onto something with this Drivatar stuff. It alone gives Forza Motorsport 5 something over every other racer out there, pushing the genre forward. They've remedied the racing? genre's biggest problem: scripted AI cars.

For this, Turn 10 deserves high praise. 

Verdict: 9/10

Read the full Forza Motorsport 5 review

AquaPazza: Aqua Plus Dream Match (PS3)
Developer: Examu
Publisher: Atlus
Release Date: November 19, 2013
MSRP: $29.99

I gue?ss good thin??gs do come to those who wait. AquaPazza is a charming ??li??ttle fighter that should highly appeal to anime fans and the most hardcore of fighting denizens. Beautiful visuals, catchy music, and a fighting system that perfectly culminates everything Examu has done up to this point. It’s a strong technical fighter that exudes fun and gives me some old-school Waku Waku 7 vibes with its eclectic cast.

Verdict: 8.5/10

Read the full AquaPazza: Aqua Plus Dream Match review

Powerstar Golf (Xbox One)
Developer: Zoë Mode
Publisher: Microsoft Studios
Release Date: November 22, 2013
MSRP: $19.99

...Powerstar Golf isn??'t particularly special, but it'll win over the hearts of golf fans for sure. If all you're looking to do is whack a ball down a course on a next-gen system with the occasional bit of positive reinforcement, Powerstar is your huckleberry.

Verdict: 7/10

Read the full Powerstar Golf review

Wii Fit U (Wii U)
Developer: Nintendo EAD Group No. 5, Ganbarion
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: November 1, 2013
MSRP: Free for one month ($19.99 for full game with Fit Meter)

...Wii Fit U's mini-games are fun, but still suffer from being single??-player/non-simultaneous multiplayer and there just isn't that much new stuff. If you're looking for something that will keep you motivated and ge?t you moving, it could definitely work and the Fit Meter is an extra level of motivation, but if Wii Fit didn't do it before then I'm not sure it will work for you now. The good part is that the game is free unti??l the end of the month so you can find out for yourself.

Verdict: 7/10

Read the full Wii Fit U review

Ryse: Son of Rome (Xbox One)
Developer: Crytek
Publisher: Microsoft Studios
Release Date: November 22, 2013
MSRP: $59.99

...Ryse looks great and has a lot of great ideas, but it falls flat in nearly every respect in regards to? its core story. ??If you're a hardcore action fan you may get some satisfaction on the highes??t difficulty setting, but even then I'd wait for an equally hardcore price drop.

Verdict: 5/10

Read the full Ryse: Son of Rome review

Super Motherload (PC, PS3, PS4 [reviewed])
Developer: XGen Studios
Publisher: XGen Studios
Release Date: November 15, 2013 (PS4) / November 26 (PS3) / 2014 (PC)
MSRP: $14.99

Super Motherload is simple enough so that anyone can ?pick it up and play, but complex enough for mining veterans to keep coming back to fully upgrade characters or even risk playing in hardcore mode. The sci-fi ’80s vibe is delightful and the perfect setting for this ridiculously addicting game. I find myself coming back to it at the end of every day, ready for a new adventure underground.

Verdict: 8/10

Read the full Super Motherload review

Foul Play (PC [reviewed], Xbox 360)
Developer: Mediatonic
Publisher: Devolver Digital
Release Date: September 18, 2013
MSRP: $14.99

Foul Play isn't necessarily a bad game, it just doesn't do anything to prove otherwise. It is a by-the-numbers game with a brilliant aesthetic,?? which in the end is just a by-the-numbers videogame. It's too long for its own good, which only highlights the mediocrity even more as the same enemy behaviors are encountered for hours. The lack of depth hurts Foul Play the most, ??and it's really a shame considering how brilliant the aesthetic is. I wanted to run around the stage, but playing the game made me ex??it stage left.

Verdict: 5.5/10

Read the full Foul Play review

Zoo Tycoon (Xbox 360, Xbox One [reviewed])
Developer: Frontier Developments
Publisher: Microsoft Studios
Release Date: November 22, 2013
MSRP: $59.99

Zoo Tycoon has a distinct lack of depth, but if you're capable of sitting down with this simplistic simulator, you'll smile more times than you ??can count. The simulator fan in me was a bit disappointed by the ease of it all, but the child in me coul??dn't help but enjoy myself.

Verdict: 7.5/10

Read the full Zoo Tycoon review

Killer Instinct (Xbox One)
Developer: Double Helix Games
Publisher: Microsoft Studios
Release Date: November 22, 2013
MSRP: Free ($4.99 per character, $20 Season Pass, $40 Ultra Edition)

Killer Instinct may not be the new king of fighting games, and it feels a bit rushed in terms of content, but it is very solid and far exceeds my expectations for it. With a pricing scheme? that doesn't feel exploitative and a balanced character roster, the well developed mechanics will keep you busy until the new content drops n??ext year. It'll be interesting to see what the community at large thinks of it over time, but in my living room, it's a welcome addition to my fighting game roster.

Verdict: 7.5/10

Read the full Killer Instinct review

The Shivah - Kosher Edition [PC]
Developer: Wadjet Eye Games
Publisher: Wadjet Eye Games
Release Date: November 21, 2013
MRSP: $4.99/£3.99 

Whilst the graphics are up to the same standard of previous titles fro??m Wadjet Eye, they're a b??ig improvement over the 2006 edition. The Shivah w?ill run in a low-res window, so it's not going to look great on a big monitor but will look just fine on a laptop. The new music?? score is low-key, melancholic, and fits the mood of the game and there's a nice treat post-credits where you can listen to some out-takes from the recording sessions.

...Despite its short length, The Shivah is worth playing for its story and to see how far adventure games have come in t?he last fe??w years.

Verdict: 7/10

Read the full The Shivah review

Company of Heroes 2: Victory at Stalingrad (PC)
Developer: Relic Entertainment
Publisher: SEGA Entertainment
Release Date: November 12, 2013
MSRP: $9.99

It will take you about three to six hours to play through all of the content once, and it will probably take you a few tries to complete some of the challenges. Each battle also has quite a bit of replay value -- you could easily add another 20 to 30 hours of life to Company of Heroes 2with this?? DLC. No matter how you slice it, that's worth? the price tag.

Verdict: 8/10

Read the full Company of Heroes 2: Victory at Stalingrad review

The post The best and worst games of the week – Xbox One is here! appeared first on Destructoid.

Before the fattening

[Every week, from early November through the end of 2013, I'll report on my use of Wii Fit U and how it benefits my health.]

Read Week 1's weigh-in here.

If this Wii Fit U weekly weigh-in accomplishes only one thing, I want it to be a clear measure of just ??how much weight I'll gain Thanksgiving week. It's going to be gross, folks.

The plot thickens. My waistline thickens.

As you can see, I already gained weight this week. A lot. I blame Microsoft and Sony for ??making me sit at a desk for 12 or more hours a day for a week or two. I like the PS4 and the Xbox One, but I don't like what it did to my health and stress level. I didn't sleep much most nights, and I ate a lot of ju?nk while working, including cookies, pie, and ramen. I know I'll never get sympathy for having to play a lot of great new games for a living, but I still want to say that last week was hell on me, and my health clearly suffered. 

Wii Fit U Weekly Weigh-in Week 3:

Weight: 157.9 lbs (up 3.4 lbs!)

BMI: 22.60 (ugh)

Goal: BMI of 22 -- FAILED! 

Since I failed that goal, I set another two-week one, this time picking a weight goal over a BMI goal. I want to get a couple of pounds off in two weeks. We all know that's not happening with Thanksgiving coming, b??ut it'll be fun to see me fa?il at least.

Today I did a couple more of the dance routines to make up for eating cake pops for breakfast. The hula one is adorable, though I only burned about 4 calories through its hip swaying. The jazz one gets you moving, but the moves a?re so dorky that I feel weird doing them.

I love the Nintendo-branded drum kit!

Time to hit the walking trails again to make up for being stuck in the office all last week. It's probably a goo?d idea with turkey day coming up.

The post Wii Fit U weekly weigh-in: Week 3 appeared first on Destructoid.

Moving forward one step at a time

When Wii Fit launched, it kicked off the fitness craze in gaming for better or worse. Soon the Nintendo innovation (much like many of its other innovations) was being duplicated and improved upon everywhere. As motion controls became prevalent on every system so did fitness games. Nintendo attempted to keep up with Wii Fit Plus, which took the now embarrassingly bare bones Wii Fit and at least let you piece together a work out. It didn't really push Wii Fit up to the level of the fitnes??s games around it, though.

Part of this was, of course, the fact that Wii Fit's idea of fitness is a lot more relaxed -- it focuses on stretching, balance, and core instead of working up a sweat and toning your biceps into Popeye levels of muscularity. The other part, however, was the fact that the game, for all its mini-game fun, just wasn't that robust in its overall fitness features. Wii Fit U aims to change that. 

Wii Fit U (Wii U)
Developer: Nintendo EAD Group No. 5, Ganbarion
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: November 1, 2013
MSRP: Free for one month ($19.99 for full game with Fit Meter)

Things are much improved from the previous Wii Fit iterations with more workouts, a dance mode, a personal trainer mode, improved games, more focus on mental fitness, GamePad incorporation, and the Fit Meter. That final object might come as a bit of a surprise to some who haven't been keeping track of Wii Fit U (or Dale's weekly updates), but the game incorporates a little doodad that tracks your daily movement like a Nike Fuel Band or a Jawbone Up. This alone is a sign at how much Nintendo was actually trying to push Wii Fit into a legitimate healthy lifestyle platform, but it definitely isn't the only sign considering just how much more robust Wii Fit U is. 

Of course, being more robust than something that could be used to define a lack of robustness doesn't actually make you truly robust so let's start with what's lacking: there aren't many new yoga or strength training exercises. Almost every one of these exercises is from the previous games so there will be very little shake up in your workout in that department. Thankfully, you can transfer your data from Wii Fit and thus not have to be locked into redoing all the beginner level stuff. For some reason it does occasionally make you go back through the workout explanation, but everything is skipable so it's never a pain. It will be familiar though. Other than a slight redesign to the trainers and the admittedly helpful highlight of targeted body parts almost all of the voice w??ork and actions are exactly the same. Nintendo did almost no advancement in these sections.

That's probably because they were advancing almost every other part of the game. The most welcome addition if you're using the game for exercise or stretching is the Personal Trainer mode. Probably the biggest gap in the previous games was that they gave you a bunch of exercises and mini-games and then just basically told you to figure it out for yourself. Plus featured some s?tructured exercise, but not much. Personal Trainer changes this, allowing you to choose the amount of calories you want to burn or the length of your exercise. Then, using the types of workouts you've told it you want, the system will put together a routine for you. The routines are always unique (or have been so far) and give you plenty of variety.  

Then there's the Fit Meter. This circular gadget clips onto your waist band and is really nothing more than a pedometer and altimeter. For 20 bucks, it isn't a very good one at that. You can easily fake it out by shaking the device back and forth to garner more steps and the altimeter seemed wonky at best. However, if you don't already have a nicer pedometer it will do the trick and even if it isn't the most accurate altimeter it is cool to see how far you've moved up and down. The data your Fit Meter collects can be imported to Wii Fit U and then your calories burned are tracked and you can see your activity graphed pretty nicely. More im??portantly, though, you can use your steps and gained height to unlock things!

Of course, as gamers, we all have the uncontrollable urge to unlock everything ever so it's a solid motivation to get moving or at least shake your Fit Meter back and forth quickly (cheater). You unlock these things through the Fit Meter Challenge, which has you walking famous distances (the Great Wall of China) and climbing famous objects (the Statue of Liberty) with the stats you import. Sadly, all you get to see are some crappy world map graphics as you do this despite?? the fact that Wii U has a really fantastic Google Maps built in that could have made the walks actually something interesting to do other than seeing your Mii hop around a map.

But maybe you aren't buying Wii Fit U for fitness. Maybe you're buying it to play games. Well, that's kind of dumb, but we'll run with it. There just aren't that many new mini-games this time around if you exclude the dancing portion. Notable letdowns are the rowing game, which as a rower, I can tell you officially sucks, and the luge game, which has you sitting the board and hurting your back and abs trying to ??steer. Highlights include a racquetball game that involves both movement and strategy and the surprising?ly addicting trampoline game where all you do is time ever-higher jumps and lean back and forth to make sure you hit the center of the target. Seriously, it sounds idiotic, but you'll just keep on doing it until you actually jump off the board in excitement of landing your Mii dead center and the game kicks you out (that board is damn sensitive). 

The online aspects of Wii Fit U should also be mentioned even though their robustness is, well, it's on level with most of Nitnendo's online offerings. You can join Gyms, which are groups of Wii Fit U users. Doing this populates your screen with Miis in that group and you can check out their stats while also seeing the group's overall stats. You can also join one of the big national gyms or, if you have friends, create one of your own. It's possible to share every single detail of your workout on M??iiverse pretty easily as well, which is actually a nice feature if you want to brag a bit. 

Since it is such a big new part of the game, the dancing modes should be mentioned, but they are almost relentlessly worthless to anyone who has played any other dance game on any other platform. While they do get more challenging as you unlock higher modes there's no licensed music, no dance moves you'll recognize, and very little in actual enjoyment or fitness to get out of them. At the sake of full disclosure I will admit to being a rhythm-less white nerd, but I've enjoyed other dancing games despite suc??king at them completely so I can safely say it wasn't just my lack of ability to find a beat. On top of this, if you want to fully use the dance mode you'll need to have four controllers at the ready (Balance Board, 2 Wiimotes, GamePad). That's eight AA batteries!

So a major addition to the game just isn't that good, but it's OK because that really isn't the star of Wii Fit U. The new exercises, mini-games, and Fit Meter aren't either. The best thing about the game is its simplest new feature: the fact that you can do almost everything whi??le watchin??g TV.

Sure, this is ??easily achievable with a tablet, an app, and your television, but then you're cutting out the motion controls and balance board that ?make videogame fitness a different beast from an app. You can also use the GamePad as a camera in mirror mode. With this you set it up in its stand pointing at you and then you can see yourself (embarrassingly) on TV. While you might realize just how much of an idiot you look like it's particularly helpful for knowing if you're keeping your form correct.

In fact you could probably say that for almost every aspect of Wii Fit U Plus. There's almost always a better product out there that does one element of what this can do in a far superior manner, but nothing else that has the whole package. Considering that right now you can download the game for free and simply buy the Wii Fit U Fit Meter for $19.99, it's a pretty cheap package at that. Buying all the separate, but better, items that would do what Wii Fit U does would definitely start to run ?you up into hundreds of dollars.

Applying a score here is a little tough. If Wii Fit U gets you motivated, moving, and helps you lose weight then it's easily a 10 out of 10. That's the goal and if it works then it works. As the next game in the franchise, Wii Fit U definitely moves the series forward about a million steps, but it's a million steps that have already been taken elsewhere. Wii Fit U brings the series up to date as a fitness ?game, but doe??sn't push it any further.

Meanwhile Wii Fit U's mini-games are fun, but still suffer from being single-player/non-simultaneous multiplayer and there just isn't that much new stuff. If you're looking for something that will keep you motivated and get you moving, it could definitely work and the Fit Meter is an extra level of motivation, but if Wii Fit&nb??sp;didn't do it before then I'm not sure it will work for you now. The good part is that the game is free until the end of the month so you can find out for yourself. 

The post Review: Wii Fit U appeared first on Destructoid.

Walk it off

[Every week, from early November through the end of 2013, I'll report on my use of Wii Fit U and how it benefits my health.]

Read Week 1's weigh-in here.

If you follow me on Twitter, y??ou know that I'm always on the quest for good food. I'm one of those a-holes that tweets pictures of his food all day. After one post earlier this week, one of my followers asked me if I ever ate anything healthy. I told him that I wouldn't want to waste my life doing that.

But now I look at my stomach... 

I was in New York all week, covering the PS4 launch as well? as meeting with Microsoft on Xbox One. I'm in t??he city about 5 or 6 times a year, and when I'm there I eat a lot. So this week's weigh-in should be interesting.

This week's weigh-in will show the usefulness of the Wii Fit U program when for times when you can't perform a daily body c??heck. Being out of town, I only had my Wii Fit Meter with me. I hoped that all of the running around to cover these next-gen launches would burn some calories, but as I've found tracking steps at other conventions, you don't end up walking nearly as much as you think you do. It's just that your feet hurt.

What's neat is that ?the Wii Fit Meter has enough memory to hold multiple?? days of tracked data. When I returned home on Friday, I just had to sync to send over the week's walking numbers. Nice!

To make up for the lack of exercise, and as a sort of break, I took Wednesday off to do three of the thing??s I love doing most: walking, shopping, and eating. Though the cold wind pushed back, I kept on, hitting all of my favorite places in NYC that day. At the end of the day, my Wii Fit Meter said that I walked about 9.5 miles. I took that as an excuse to order a huge rice bowl for dinner.

Speaking of New York and walking, I really like Wii Fit U's walking challen?ges. They use the step data from the Wii Fit Meter to simulate walking courses from all over the world. I've conquered the New York walk, and have done about a third of the Chicago one. I like t??hat you're given little travel tips and trivia blurbs when you reach checkpoints on the map.

Wii Fit U Weekly Weigh-in Week 2:

Weight: 154.5 lbs (down 2.3 lbs)

BMI: 22.12 (down just a bit)

Goal: BMI of 22 -- getting there!

I lost weight??? How? I ate so many hamburgers last week. One evening I drank myself into oblivion, and then passed out for much of?? the next day, missing one important work appointment. I'm the worst!

Even with all of that walking, after weighing in later in the week, Wii Fit U says it's going to be hard to hit my goal with how little I'm moving. It asked if I'd like to try to increase the number of daily calories burned to help try to meet my goal. When I said yes, Wii Fit U told me that the required number would be over 2,000 calories a day. The software told me that this would be pretty difficult. The charts show?? tha??t I'm not even close. 

So I'm going to hit it hard next week, getting back into Wii Fit U routines. I still want to try flamenco dancing!

See you next week.

The post Wii Fit U weekly weigh-in: Week 2 appeared first on Destructoid.

In worse shape than I thought

[Every week, from early November through the end of 2013, I'll report on my use of Wii Fit U and how it benefits my health.]

This year, being the biggest console? launch year in a decade, has been really busy for?? me. I normally travel over 80,000 miles a year for Destructoid, but this year has me nearly doubling that, and it's not over yet. 

I eat well everywhere I go. It has become sort of a goal to find the best food I can in every city I visit. So I leave home for a w?eek, pig out, come home stuffed, stressed, sometimes hung over, and  always lacking rest, doing this every two weeks or so.

I looked down at my stomach last week. And on the f??loor, just past my bulging gut, I saw the Wii Fit Balance Board... 

Wii Fit U is available now as a free download from the Nintendo eShop. You're free to try it out for a month, and the purchase and syncing of Nintendo's Wii Fit Meter ($19.99) lets you keep the game forev?er. 

The Wii Fit Meter is a pedometer that has the ability to synch with the Wii U, sending along your daily step count, elevation climbed, and an estimate of the calories burned. This small, smooth device clips on your belt or waistband, and i??ts little screen can display all of the data it tracks. It also shows a cute pixel version of your Mii's face. It nicely ties in with Wii Fit U's Body Check evaluation system. All of its data is included with a Balance Board weigh-in and then tracked in Wii Fit U. This is the data I'm willing to share in my weekly weigh-ins.

Wii Fit U Weekly Weigh-in Week 1:

Weight: 156.8 lbs 

BMI: 22.44 -- Wii Fit U calls this 'normal.' Thanks?

Goal: BMI of 22 -- Wii Fit U said that I am healthy and asked me what I wanted to do. I did??n?'t know. So it suggested that I shoot for an even 22 BMI, working to shave off the little more than a half a point I have above that in the next month, which comes out to about 3.9 lbs. I think I can do it.  

I'm just getting the hang of this thing after using it for three or four days. In initial tests, Wii Fit U says that my balance is terrible. I found out the hard way going through the game's Yoga exer?cise routines. Seeing the charts and graphs that display my balance, I think of seismic readouts after a large tremor. ?They're never not funny to me.

I like the soft, calming voice of the in-game Yoga? instructor, but I think I hear a sne??er in her prompts to stop shaking. She keeps telling me that I'm not great in the nicest way. 

I checked my home for hidden cameras before jumping into Wii Fit U's Hop Hop dancing exercise routine. I'm really glad that no one saw my moves on the evening I first tried, though I'm not ashamed of the sweat I broke. Both the hip hop and p??op-and-lock routines were pretty fun, and the visuals are adorable. The music wouldn't top any charts, but it's still fun and catchy.

The dance routines use the B??alance Board along with two Wii Remote Plus controllers to track your steps. 

I'm not the best at any kind of exercise. I think it's a coordination thing. Because the routines ar?e fun, I'm willing to try more over the next week. I hear there's flamen??co dancing -- I'll definitely be checking for hidden cameras before trying that one.

I'll be honest and say that I don't regularly exercise outside of walking. I really love walking,  usually putting in 3 to 5 ?miles a d??ay. The Fit Meter is a perfect companion for me, then. I've been too busy lately, working hard on putting together our coverage of the next-gen system launches. But I aim to put the Fit Meter to good use this next week.

I'll report back next Saturday.

The post Wii Fit U weekly weigh-in: Week 1 appeared first on Destructoid.

Maybe that's why... nevermind

During their financial briefing, Nintendo president Satoru Iwata said that, according to their research, that hundreds of thousands of people worldwide are still playing either Wii Fit or Wii Fit Plus. They're hoping the trend continues with Wii Fit U. A free trial version of the game is their hook.

Their survey shows that, in Japan, 500,000 people are still using their wii Balance Boards on a daily basis. They're hoping that these users will be tempted to try the Wii Fit U trial. 

Just writing this makes ?me feel like a fat ass. 

Nintendo: Half a million Japanese people still play Wii Fit daily [Gamasutra]

The post Half a million people still play Wii Fit da??ily in Japan appeared first on Destructoid.

You can buy a Fit Meter for $20 to keep it after that

Well this is certainly interesting. Remember Wii Fit U? Well Nintendo just announced that beginning November 1st, you'll be able to download the game for free, with a one month trial in tow. After the trial period you can buy a Fit Meter accessory ??for $20 and sync it to your system to keep the game forever. The accessory keeps track of your steps, elevation, and int?ensity, so it's not a simple pedometer.

A retail package will hit on December 13th, and after February 1st of next year you'll be able to buy the game digitally. Lighting hardly ever strikes twice, and I'm not sure if Wii Fit U is going to do?? as well as the first. I remember the retail blitz for the original as I was working in Target electronics at the time, and people would go crazy for those things -- but then they would come back months later and tell me how they collected dust for months on end.

This holiday?? season will be very interesting ?and telling for the Wii U, that's for sure!

Wii Fit U [Nintendo]

The post Wii Fit U will come with a free trial month appeared first on Destructoid.

Gotta love that bleached Michael Jackson skin

The fourth Smash Bros. was only announced last week, but fans the world over have already contributed a wealth of art based on the three new characters. However, Japanese art community pixiv has taken a particularly big shine to Wii Fit Trainer, proving that ev?en bleached mannequins can be seen as sexy.

You'll find a number of pieces below showcasing the health-conscious vixen with cameos from the other two newcomers: Mega Man and Animal Crossing's Villager. Of course, Wii Fit Trainer is the star of the show, with her suppleness and perfect form catching the eye?s of her associates.

Anybody in the mood for some hot yoga?

Sup???er Smash Brothers' new fighters inspire Japanese nerds [Japanator]

The post Japanese artists think Wii Fit Trainer is smokin’ appeared first on Destructoid.

Flamenco!

If you're growing impatient over the release of fitness game Wii Fit U, know that it's still on track for a 2013 release. Satoru Iwata gave the game a quick blurb in this morning's Nintend??o Direct presentation to let u??s know that it's still in the works.

The only real news to come out of his short segment is that there will be 77 different training events included in Wii Fit U. The presentation video showed rowing, sledding and even flamenco dancing. I wa?nt to try the latter to see ??my Mii in a dress.

It also showed the included pedometer, the Fit Meter, in use. This little device will track your steps and calories burned, and will sync with the Wii U's GamePad to track your fitnes?s progress.

The post Wii Fit U to include 77 tra??ining events, coming 2?013 appeared first on Destructoid.

Rest assured, dear reader, that Lara Croft isn't the only one grunting and moaning at E3 this year. Jonathan Holmes got his hands (bum?) on Wii Fit U at the Nintendo booth and made a variety of interesting sounds as he worked his core with the publisher??'s upcoming high?-definition fitness title.

As if spending long days hiking a?round the Los Angeles Convention Center weren't torturous enough, Nintendo put Holmes' body to the test with a luge mini-game that resembles a prolonged sit-up. The expression on the plucky Destructoid editor's face certain??ly screamed something, but it sure didn't look like it was fun.

The post E3: Wii Fit U and Holmes’ best Lara Croft impression appeared first on Destructoid.

Now why? can't you guys be more like Smirky McAbs here?? He's having a lovely time!

The post E3: Well, THIS guy liked Nintendo’s press conference appeared first on Destructoid.

Reggie Fils-Aime announced Wii Fit U at Nintendo's E3 press conference today. The best part is he introduced it by acknowledging the classic Reggie meme saying, "Five years ago, my body was ?ready." Amazing.

It wasn't clear if you would have to re-buy the Wii Fit board or if you could use the same one you already own (if you do). Nintendo also showed what appeared to be a new speedometer that interacts with the the Wii U tablet. Speaking of which, it appears that you can adjust and pick what exercises you wanted to do through the touch screen. Otherwise, it's the same old Wii Fit you've come to know and expect.

But yeah, exe?rcise games, guys. Can'?t get enough of those!

The post E3: Nintendo announces Wii Fit U appeared first on Destructoid.

Nintendo's Wii and the motion control trend that followed gave seemed like the game ??industry's answer to inactive youth. As games have grown in popularity, kids have spent less and less time outside and, logically, "active" games are the ??solution.  According to a study out of Baylor College in Houston, Texas, this isn't necessarily the case. 

Researchers outfitted 78 children with a Wii and a game of either the active, or inactive persuasion, fitted them with accelerometers, and watched as the active group showed little-to-no improvement over the inactive group with both avera??ging between 2??????????????????????????5 and 30 minutes of activity per day.

The study notes that, because the accelerometers were attached at the waist, this doesn't account for arm-specific activity, but if a movement is solely occurring in your arm one could argue that that movement is not being performed properly. Boxing, throwing, swinging a sword, etc. ?are all full body activities. 

This exemplifies the exact problem I've always seen with motion gaming as an answer to a sedentary lifestyle. Much like any other workout, it's entirely reliant on the participant. Wii Sports won't count as your daily exercise if you're half-assing all of the movements just, like any other exercise is a waste of time if you don't do it properly. However, if you play Just Dance, following through with every dance step, and are 100% devoted to seeing an improvement in your lifes??tyle, ??I don't see how you wouldn't see a change. 

While there's not immediate impact, Kent State's Jacob Barkley proposed that "it might increase caloric expenditure a little bit more than a traditi??onal sedentary video game and if you d??o that on a daily basis that could have a cumulative effect that might be beneficial."

I love that people are out there putting time and money into ??this kind of research, but any result is going to be skewed by the participants goals. A user who's end goal is to lose weight will play a game differently than others who simply want to swing their arm casually and call it bowling. Regardl??ess, it's interesting stuff, but if you're a parent and the only activity your child gets is through their Wii, you may need to reconsider that. 

Active video games don't mean kids exercise more [HealthNews]

The post Study: Wii doesn’t make fat kids not fat appeared first on Destructoid.

Why make a black ??Wii Fit balance board? Because people want color options on the devices they'll stomp and slide their grimy, nasty feet on. 

There's a new bundle coming for the holiday for Wii Fit Plus, of course. Why wouldn't there be? This UK bundle (no North American announcement yet) includes the game and a black Wii Fit balance board. Stomp off your ho?liday chub on a device that will be that much easier to trip over in the?? dark. Bonus feature of the black board: Feel less bad about spending money on exercise games peripherals that you never use as this one sticks out a bit less than the white one.

This new Wii Fit Plus software bundle launches in UK and Ireland on Octo??ber 7. 

The post Black Wii Fit board: Nintendo used ??all the white plastic appeared first on Destructoid.

A Nintendo shareholder recently declared videogames a waste of time and reprimanded president Satoru Iwata for not giving Wii Fit to Tohoku earthquake victims. 

"I’m concerned about the falling stock price. I own stock, but I don’t own a single Nintendo product," said the shareholder. "I believe games are a waste of time. By the way, the reason I own Nintendo stock is because the name is nice, it’s in Kyoto and it was listed ??in the year of m??y birth."

Iwata responded politely: "There are people in this world who don’t feel that games are a waste of time, so Nintendo continues to e?xist. We’d like to eliminate the thinking that playing games by yourself is negative, or when there’s? a crime you immediately tie it into games. We’d like to raise the social importance of games. We’re working to expand the gaming population, yourself included."

The shareholder then retorted with the greatest non sequitur I've read today: "During the Tohoku earthquake disaster, I believe people in the evacuation centers were lacking in exercise. Why didn’t you ?bring Wii Fit to them? Why didn’t you show off to the media that you’re doing more for the victims?"

Absolutely fantastic. 

Things not to ask at a N??intendo shareholder meeting [andriasang]

The post ??Nintendo sharehol?der hates games, says stupid things appeared first on Destructoid.

The times, they are a'changin.

It seems that the youth of America are getting too fat to join the armed forces. Our sedent?ary lifestyles have made us ill-??prepared for military training and injuries during boot camp are on the rise. What ever will they do?

In an article in the Navy Times newspaper, Navy Surgeon General Vice Admiral Adam Robinson has suggested that games such as Wii Fit and Dance Dance Revolution might be used as part of the training process. The theory is that games ???will be more approachable a concept and encourage recruits to keep moving.

My parents' generation thought that they could bring down the military-industrial complex with love. Turns out the?y might have had more success with Twinkies. God, I love this country.

US Navy co?nsidering fitness?? video games for boot camp [Joystiq]

The post Wii Fit and DDR might wind up in Naval boot camp appeared first on Destructoid.

Look, I think we all get it. There is a good chance that gamers, more than the general population, is made up of fatties. And you know what? C'est la vie! I say if anyone wants to lo?se some weight or become healthier, there are some mature, grown-up ways of going about this. For example, ??I am eating a chicken and broccoli Lean Pocket right now. It is cheesy and delicious. See, there are options for everything.

What you see above, this in my very humble opinion, is not exactly the best way to go about losing weight. It's called the ... uh ... Rowing Machine for Wii designed to support Wii Fit Plus, Wit Sports Resort, and Julian Michaels Fitness Ultimatum 2009 and 2010(??!). I?t even cradles the MotionPlus! How very exciting.

Doug and Julie are clea??rly pretty stoked about this. I'm less so. I think I would rather have my "pricey gym membership" over this little contraption. Sure, I suspect there are plenty of people who would be into this, but c'mon. It's just a normal cheap rowing device with Wii crap slapped on. Like everything health related, it'll take more than this to lose weight and be healthier, like Lean Pockets.

Wii Rowing Machine: Like a Regular Rowing Machine, but More Gimmi?cky [Gizmodo]

The post Wii Rowing device is all sorts of magically dumb appeared first on Destructoid.

Wait, what?

A woman from Manchester is blaming Wii Fit for turning her into a sex addict. 24-year-old Amanda Flowers fell off her balance board while playing Nintendo's blockbuster placebo and claims that the stumble some??how turned? her into a nymphomaniac. Seriously.

Amanda claims that she craves sex at least ten times a day. The slightest vibration in the air will give her the horn, meaning that all she has to? do is feel her phone and it's like Niagra Falls in her pants. According to Flowers, "It began as a twinge down belo?w before surging through my body. Sometimes it built up into a trembling orgasm.

"With no cure I just h??ave to try to control my passion by breathing deeply. Hopefully one day I’ll find a superstud who can satisfy me."

Sorry, what? How can this be a real person? She's talking as if she's one of those fake letters at the back of a porn mag. Nevertheless, if she really does have this problem, I know of a certain golfer who might be able to h?elp her out. Two birds, one stone.

Girl Falls off W?ii Fit Board —?? Becomes Sex Addict [HotBloodedGaming]

The post Woman falls ?off Wii Fit board, becomes a sex addict appeared first on Destructoid.

I probably shouldn't be writing this, as it may not be good for my friend and coworker Anthony Burch, but he's on his way to GDC and I can't get a hold of him. There is the chance that posting this will somehow negatively effect his ongoing lawsuit against Gaijin Games, the creators of Bit.Trip RUNNER, but I can't risk not getting this info to him ASAP. I?f someone reading this can tell him to read the site as soon as possible, thank you in advance. That would be a huge? relief.

Anthony, it looks like you may not have acquired the copyright to the name and concept to Runner (the game we worked on together), so now you may actually be foun??d at fault be at fault for using the name and concept, at least l??egally.

I'm torn about this. On one end, I still consider the guys at Gaijin Games to be some of my favorite game developers, and I don't want to ruin my working relationship with them. On the other hand, you're my friend and collaborator, and I don't want you to get screwed either. Also, if you get sued, are you going to make me pay your fines with you? I know I did a lot of the graphics for Runner, but I'm not sure that it's fair ?that I be involved with this legal stuff.

Anyway, past the jump is the email I got from Alex Neuse, CEO of Gaijin Games, forwarded from his lawyer. Anthony, please read this as soon as you can, and if it's not too late to get Runner copy-written, do so imme??diately. I don't like being caught in the crossfire like this.

To whom it may concern,

As General Counsel to Ga?ijin Games, Inc. I oversee all legal matters of the corporation, to include? response to litigation and the threat of litigation.

I have reviewed the claim put ??forth by Destructoid that they somehow have exclusive rights to the word "runner??".    

I?? have researched all pertinent data banks with regard to copyright protection and found no evi?dence of that word being protected by any party.    

Imagine i??f you would, a world wherein any person can cl??aim any word as "his".  

Their claim to the word "runner" has no more merit than an individual claiming all rights to the word "crap". For instance, a husband leaving his house to take his dog for a walk would no longer be able to say to his spouse "Honey, I'm taking Fido out for a walk so that he can take a crap".  That poor slob would instead have to substitute something like "H?oney, I'm taking Fido out so that he can lay some pipe. I would have used the word 'crap' but some bastard has that all locked up".  

If Destructoid goes forth with their meritless claim, be assured that we will respond with a counter-suit that will tie them up tighter than a gnat's scrotum. We will include a count for frivolous litigation and will extract from them all of my legal fees incurred ??defending their defenseless claim. Come to think of it, I could use a replacement sail for my yacht.

Regards, Atty. Lawrence A. Osborn, J.D.

The post Are the Bit.Trip gu?ys suing the hell out of An?thony? appeared first on Destructoid.

_{[Editor's Note: We're not just a (rad) news site -- we also publish opinions/editorials from our community & employees like this one, though be aware that it may not jive with the opinions of Destructoid as a whole, or how our moms raised us. Want to post your own article in response? Publish it now on our community blogs.]}

Bold claim, indeed. Nintendo's Wii Fit and Quantic Dream's Heavy Rain exist at opposite ends of the sp?ectrum. What could they possibly share in common?

A lot more than you may think.

T?hese two titles are high-profile vanguards of experimentation in gaming. They have the potential to influence future software but can just as easily fade away if left unexplored. They find common ground not on the cont??ent they provide but on roles they fulfill. I would like to examine those roles in order to demonstrate just how similar these games are. 

What is Wii Fit? An exercise game? There have been many exercise games in the past, so what makes this one so special? Calling it an "exercise game" is a bit misleading, however. A quick Google search yields polarizing conclusions as to the effectiveness of Wii Fit as a fitness tool. For those who do see results, it's only when Wii Fit is included as part of greater health program.

It would be more appropriate to call it a "lifestyle tool." The game offers no clear-cut goals; instead, users set goals for themselves and work to achieve them even while the Wii is inactive. Wii Fit encourages you to be a l??itt??le more active and to make small changes in your daily routine, such as walking to the store instead of driving or drinking water instead of soda at work. It graphs your progress and suggests activities you should engage in next. On the whole, it's an experience far more personal than some ten-minute Pilates DVD.

Miyamoto may consider Wii Fit to be a game, but it's a game in the loosest sense of the word. The word that has come to encapsulate software like Wii Fit is "non-game." Non-games don't feature the usual video game trappings and as such are off-putting to the more traditional gamer. Is it any surprise then why many cry foul at Wii Fit's inclusion on official sales charts?

Now let's look at Heavy Rain. According to Game Informer:

"Concepts like shooting the bad guys, leveling up your character, and acquiring new items are so pervasive that they have been inextricably woven into most players' definition of what it means to be a video game. Heavy Rain forces you to reconsider that definition. It is barely a game in the popular sense of the word, but Quantic Dream's masterpiece makes groundbreaking strides in storytelling and character development, demonstrating that interactive entertainment still has a deep well of untapped potential."

GamePro says:

"Some may not be willing to accept the breaking of traditional gaming concepts."

IGN concludes:

"Heavy Rain's an interactive movie, and it's an enthralling experience."

The consensus is that Heavy Rain is unique and ambitious but ultimately not what you are accustomed to. Check ?out the language being used -- it's an "emotional experience," it'll "keep you guessing," the writing "pulls you?? in," the characters are believable "actors." If it weren't for the frequent mention of on-screen button prompts, you might think you were reading reviews for the latest Hollywood thriller.

As with Wii Fit, Heavy Rain is not the first of its ilk. Quantic Dream's previous game Fahrenheit, a.k.a. Indigo Prophecy, is the closest example in terms of presentation and progression. Heavy Rain goes even further by increasing the number o?f junction points to such a degree as to create the ??illusion that your every choice will have repercussions ranging from the overt to the subtle.

David Cage remarked that not even he considers Heavy Rain a videogame. What he does consider it to be is a personal and highly malleable experience. No two people will make the s?ame choices, , none of them "right" or "wrong," and events will unfold in manifold directions. No matter the outcome of a particular scenario, the story will proceed to its conclusion. As such, there is no real way to "lose."

Are you starting to see the overlap?

As disparate as Wii Fit and Heavy Rain are, at their core they are about personal investment. One encourages awareness of your physical body while the other evaluates your decisions and alters the experience accordingly. Neither piece of software will condemn you for your shortcomings. Only you can decide whether your performance is satisfactory or ??in need of improvement. In fact, the only way to fail is simpl??????????????????????????y to not play.

Even more interesting is how both titles work to remove players from the game and disconnect them from the on-screen action. Most games place you in the role of a character, giving you direct control over your avatar's well-being. Wii Fit does no such thing. Sure, there's your Mii right there on your TV, emulating your every action, but that's just it! It's emulating your actions! You are the one improving. You are the one being challenged. Your Wii Fit ??age is not some accumulation of stat-building experience but a representation of your personal off?-screen growth.

In Heavy Rain, you follow the exploits of a set of characters. These "actors," are playing roles assigned to them as you guide them from a safe distance. You exert some measure of control, but it's indirect at best. Playing Heavy Rain is akin to directing a movie as it unfolds, altering the scene in real-time i??n the context of the characters' motivations and emotional state. Sometimes your commands are vague approximations of physical actions, but other times they are merely buttons to be pressed.

If the character you are directing dies, focus shifts to another one. The story doesn't end or double-back on itself. Why would it? You weren't the one who died. Events flow like ?a river -- you can redirect or siphon the water but can never control the water itself. There will be moments that highlight the gulf between you and these actor??s, moments that will unfold a specific way regardless of your direction.

So here we have two non-games that engage players not via immersion but via emersion. The experience is reliant not upon how linked players are to the digital realm but upon how disconnected they are. Wii Fit is effective when players commit to a plan of which the software itself is only a part, while Heavy Rain is effective when players realize that they aren't shackled dow??n by necessity.

As unconventional as they may be, why shouldn't they be classified as g??ames? The way I see it, they are captivating audiences through alternative means and expanding the definition of what a game can be. Unless it is our desire to bear witness to creative stagnation, we have to be accepting of?? a little radical experimentation here and there.

I must comment on the reception for both types of games from the enthusiast crowd and gaming press. Though detractors exist for both, it's clear that Wii Fit garners a lot more scorn. Heavy Rain, on the other hand, seems to be gathering accolades for its risky approach to narrative delivery. Heavy Rain is "evolving the medium" while Wii Fit is "holding the medium back."

To that I ask, "What's the difference?"

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Beyonce Knowles likes Wii Fit. Beyonce Knowles wants to be in a videogame because she likes Wii Fit. This is basically what?? the videogame industry is?? boiling down to.

"I'd like to get involved in video games, since I really love Wii Fit," says the child of destiny. "I think? it would be a great idea to incor??porate choreography, because, for me, my workout is way more fun when it involves dancing, as opposed to running on a boring treadmill.

"So I would love to do some kind of fitness ????game but incorporate dance and performance into it. I think a lot of women would enjoy that."

This is the most pointless, dumb, stupid, wast??e-of-time story I've written in ages, and I'm not even going to apologize. If you've just sat here and read this crap, then it's your own fault. Go complain to the pigeons for all I care.

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Get ready to add crazy cat ladies and people with one too many dogs in their homes to the long list of Wii owners. For many people keeping their pets healthy is almost as important as keeping themselves healthy, and thus it is quite possible that many people will be overjoyed to hear that Wii Fit Plus will allow players to not only track their own weight, but the weight of their pets as well. As was demoed for me at E3 with my computer bag, Wii Fit Plus allows users to find out the weight of things by holding them and then subtracting their? body weight. What was not demoed was the fact that the game will allow for avatars for pet dogs and cats, and thus will be able to keep track of the pet's weight via the aforementioned method.

It's a well known fact (not really) that I'm actually a supporter of Wii Fit, so while I see the absolute ridiculousness of this feature, I can also see it being a really big hit with the casual crowd. I actually wish you could make an animal avatar outside of the game so that it could play with my Mii since the thing doesn't really do anything else. However, I'm pretty sure that the rest of you have just rolled the eyes to the back of your head and muttered something about Nintendo stabbing you in the back yet again. It probably doesn't help that they demoed Wii Fit Plus to a bunch of ??B-grade celebs on Wednesday in preparation of the game's launch tomorrow. Destructoid was not invited to that event by the way, but it's probably best as we would have simply perved on Rachel Leigh Cook the entire time. ??

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