Achievements are a mainstay of modern gaming, even if you’re the kind of gamer who doesn’t want a magnificent scene interrupted by a popup saying “Achievement unlocked: lord tearjerker”.
I generally loathe achievements, though that might be out of yearning for a time when games did achievements discreetly. If you happen to be ancient enough to recall, the Tomb Raider series of games was one of the first to feature some sort of non-point-based achiev♉ements, which came in the poignant form of 🏅archeological secrets discovered.
The original Tomb Raider games did achievements right
Sure, the first game had secret achievements in the form of med packs and ammo clips that didn’t really make much sense in the context of undiscovered tombs. Still, Tomb Raider 2 fixed that by including dragon-shaped artifacts. They were useless for gameplay purposes but did a great job of making players feel like an accomplished entertainment archeologist, which is the term I use to describe movie and video game archeologists who steal stuff instead of doing an actual archeologist’s job.
On top of hitting the mark on a visual and gameplay level, the Tomb Raider 1-3 Remaster nailed the spirit of the game, meaning it also upped the ante for the original games’ achievements. The first remaster package brought in dozens of new achievements — some offer a neat challenge by being really hard to figure out, some are hilarious, and many are both. Luckily, the team at Aspyr behind the second batch of classic Tomb Raider classics (and the not-so-classic Angel Of Darkness), did it again.
The best achievements in the Tomb Raider 4-6 Remaster Trilogy
The remaster features 168 achievements of varying difficulty levels. Unlocking many of them is a straightforward affair, like “Finish the Cairo Chapter“, for example, but it gets so much better.
The best achievements in ꦯa 𒁃game about solving mysteries and finding stuff are those that require mystery-solving skills and then reward players with a hilarious achievement name.
Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation starts with a secret achievement named “What’s Up, Doc?“, which you get by lying down next to a skeleton. That’s not a regular skeleton, however, but rather a skeleton donning a hat and a whip, so an obvious reference to Indiana Jones.
There’s also “Self Defense Guide“, which you get by tricking three scorpions and three jackals into getting killed by fire. Among other things, this trilogy is infamous for having Lara partake in various acts of unnecessary evil, so it’s nice to see the devs daring players to do even worse.
Any average pun enjoyer will like “Blade Outrunner“, which you get by avoiding getting hit by any pedestal blades.
The “This is fine” achievement probably requires no explanation, but you unlock it by taking the time to find all the secrets in a specific level despite it being on fire.
When it comes to mystery-solving, skill, and pure evil, it’s hard to beat “Cooler than Henry”. You’ll unlock it by blinding three assassins, poisoning them, and then one-shot them in a row.
I’m also partial to “Prop with no purpose“, which you get by grabbing Von Croy’s glasses, provided it’s meant a comment on the nature of achievements.
I don’t much care for the name “Jason’s Apprentice“, but that’s the achievement you get for drowning five skeletons in water — one of the most bizarre things to happen on any of these already pretty out-there games.
“Scarabicide” is the beautifully-titled achievement you get for running over a scarab with your motorcycle.
“Theomachist” is a really cool achievement you can get from doing a handstand in front of a bunch of statues.
Then there’s the very darkly-comedic “High Five to Maahes“, which you get by obliterating five enemies with one grenade.
Lastly, TLR features an achievement called “Oops“, which you get from breaking every destructible item in the game. Now that’s video game archeology done right.
Tomb Raider Chronicles begins with “To the Envy of Venus“, which Lara naturally gets by showing off with a handstand in front of a gate.
There’s also the hilariously cruel “Fail Compilation“, which you get from watching all of Lara’s failures on the young Lara level.
One of the funniest achievements in the entire series is “Gassassin“, which you get by killing a guard with gas. Why is this so funny? Because the guard is a robot. Good thing this achievement isn’t optional otherwise it would prove pretty hard to guess for many.
Tomb Raider 6 features an achievement called “Darwin Awards“, which you get by finding all the silliest ways to die, and thus is something I have no idea how to unlock since this game features infinite dumb ways for Lara to perish.
There’s also the hilarious “Chococollection“, which you get by collecting all the chocolate bars in the game and eating none.
One of my favorites is “Snake Eater“, whose description reads “Why are you still here? Just to suffer?”. That’s a brilliant double reference, this time to the Metal Gear Solid series, as well as to the lackluster state 🏅in which the game was released. You unlock it by climbing a long ladder that takes you to a large area with nothing for you to do.
The Angel Of Darkness culminates with “I Feel Stronger Now“, which you get from beating the game. This is a brilliant reference to the infamous phrase that Lara says whenever she “levels up” and I believe a welcome congratulatory note to anyone resilient enough to beat that game. Do you know why I believe that? Because the achievement for beating the game in New Game+ is called “Never Again“.
You can now achieve all of these on Tomb Raider IV-VI Remastered on PC, Switch, PlayStatiꦜon 4, PlayStation 5, Xbox One, and Xb🌳ox Series X|S.
Published: Feb 25, 2025 11:21 am